Hi all. I am new here and could use some advice. My teenager lives with us full time and my 2 stepkids visit us regularly. They stay over on weekends and are often over 1 or 2 nights during the week for dinner, etc. DH and I both work full-time in jobs that require a lot of overtime. I am often at work well past my daily shift and take work home on a regular basis. The same is true of DH. I seriously put in 50-60 hours per week into my job.
My issue is this... BM doesn't work at all. That's her choice and I don't criticize her for that (and no she is not independently wealthy....) but I also don't sympathize with her very much. The past several months she is constantly complaining about the kids and about how she needs more of a break and needs us to take them more. We do take them, I feel a decent amount. She keeps wanting to add more time to the visitation agreement. She is also constantly hours late in dropping them off or picking them up with no care to how it affects us or our plans.
Now she wants us to agree to keep the kids on any extra days off of work/school. Let me be clear that there have been many instances in the past where we offered to take the kids on some of these days off. My issue is that I just don't want to be tied to that schedule because I need some time off too! Is that terrible of me to feel that way? It seems like it's okay for BM to need a break but heaven forbid if stepmom wants a break then she is pure evil and must hate the kids. I do love my stepkids. I just work very hard and enjoy a break myself once in awhile. My own kid is a little easier because he's pretty independent at his age whereas with my stepkids I have to constantly entertain them. Let me also add that my stepkids don't particularly want to be here those extra days. They love visiting but they also get anxious to go back to their mom. Sometimes we have asked them to stay the extra day off, night whatever and they say no, they want to go back to mama's house.
Any suggestions? Oh and BM is telling my DH that he HAS to take kids extra days, not asking if he wants to. I kind of have an issue with that too! DH pretty much just wants to go along with what she says so we aren't all fighting but I almost feel like she bullies him in to agreeing to stuff.