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It makes me sad

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:18 AM
  • 13 Replies
I have this loft bed for SD and a regular futon under it (not a futon bunkbed). I want to trade the loft bed for a dresser because SD won't use it and we are trying to give my oldest her own room. SD loves the idea of sharing a room with her little sister but she's scared of heights and the loft is too big for my ODD's room. Sd live here full time and sees her mom on holiday breaks from school and the random weekend because mom always cancels. Anyway I posted the pic on FB to see if anyone I knew wanted to trade for it. She replied saying that if it's not gone she knows SD would love it for down there because she hates the car bed now. I replied back that SD being scared of heights is the reason we r getting rid of it and that all SD talks about is how she wishes she had a car bed here. She said o I didn't know any of that. I'm really kind of sad because BM always ask what size does SD wear, what does she want for Christmas or birthdays. SD is 8 she will talk ur ear off. She has Autism but she doesn't have a speach delay. If Bm would pay attention to her kid instead of never having her and they when she does she ships her down to grandmas after only spending a day with her most of the time its not even a full day. It just pisses me off all that kid ever wants or talks about is BM and being there but BM knows nothing about this kid. I guess I shouldn't of made that so obvious on FB but I don't even think BM noticed that.
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by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:18 AM
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Refurbished
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:44 AM

My ex is like that.  He knows nothing about our kids and doesn't want to know.  It's frustrating to watch sometimes.

mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:01 AM
My ex was like that too. However he agreed to an adoption and now that that is done he wants nothing to do with DD. I offered to keep it open and I ment it but now 7 months later and still nothing. Before the adoption it looked like he was going to stand up and be some kind of rolemodel even though he wanted the adoption but then after nothing he just left the court house and said nothing sence.


Quoting Refurbished:

My ex is like that.  He knows nothing about our kids and doesn't want to know.  It's frustrating to watch sometimes.


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Mommyof5247
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:35 AM

That is sad, but understandable if BM doesn't spend much time with her.

It hasn't phased me with my teens & their dads for a long time. I never expected their fathers to know a lot about them. But a big irritation has been when my stepkids BM would send the kids home in shoes or something that was too small & say that WE didn't dress them "right". DH has custody & we were frequently replacing items because BM would keep them or throw them away (according to the kids). We had to tell her what sizes they wore & it was a huge unnecessary battle for a while.

SAHM BM of DS17, DD14, DD22mos., Baby due 2013 & CSM of SD6 & SS5

Refurbished
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:12 AM

My ex wouldn't ever agree to that because he doesn't want to look like an ass to his family, so he blows hot and cold with them all the time.  The last two Christmases he forgot, and both times in February sent them a $20 bill and a handwritten apology for forgetting Christmas. He showed up in October for the first time in 3 years, took a bunch of photos then posted them to Facebook and now he's off and gone and of course didn't call them on Thanksgiving.  That's the hardest part.  They get excited thinking he cares, but most of the time it's only because he's more interested in looking like he cares about them.  99% of contact they have with him is on their Facebook wall. 

Quoting mamaBerg85:

My ex was like that too. However he agreed to an adoption and now that that is done he wants nothing to do with DD. I offered to keep it open and I ment it but now 7 months later and still nothing. Before the adoption it looked like he was going to stand up and be some kind of rolemodel even though he wanted the adoption but then after nothing he just left the court house and said nothing sence.


Quoting Refurbished:

My ex is like that.  He knows nothing about our kids and doesn't want to know.  It's frustrating to watch sometimes.



Charli627
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Ds dad doesnt know his bday :(

Quoting Refurbished:

My ex is like that.  He knows nothing about our kids and doesn't want to know.  It's frustrating to watch sometimes.

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Refurbished
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:55 PM

How sad for your DS.  With my ex, I see it as his loss.  My kids are great kids and he's missing out on something wonderful.  Your ex is too.

Quoting Charli627:

Ds dad doesnt know his bday :(

Quoting Refurbished:

My ex is like that.  He knows nothing about our kids and doesn't want to know.  It's frustrating to watch sometimes.


gma12.1
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 3:32 PM

 My grandkids had a good reason for not only visiting there mother but even wanting to live with her. After 9 years the did for 4 months and were homeless, moving from drug house to drug house. When they came back they even told their mom that they would rather go into foster care than go with her until she cleaned her act up. That was 10 months ago. They've not seen their mother in almost a month because her unemployment checks are no longer coming in so she has no reason to show up.

Your sd may not like this guy because he isn't willing to give her what ever she wants or let her do things that she got away with before. No mater what dh & bm need to find out what it is and see if it can be worked out. Like a poster said her not seeing her mother can come back to bite dh in the ass. What has bm said about sd not wanting to visit? You have given sd enough space and now she needs to be sat down and made to explain herself and she needs to do it in front of who ever she is most comfortable with to start with then go from there. It may be nothing and she needs to get over it or it could be something that needs to be worried about. Either way it is time for her to give her reasons.

mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:26 PM
What r u talking about?


Quoting gma12.1:

 My grandkids had a good reason for not only visiting there mother but even wanting to live with her. After 9 years the did for 4 months and were homeless, moving from drug house to drug house. When they came back they even told their mom that they would rather go into foster care than go with her until she cleaned her act up. That was 10 months ago. They've not seen their mother in almost a month because her unemployment checks are no longer coming in so she has no reason to show up.


Your sd may not like this guy because he isn't willing to give her what ever she wants or let her do things that she got away with before. No mater what dh & bm need to find out what it is and see if it can be worked out. Like a poster said her not seeing her mother can come back to bite dh in the ass. What has bm said about sd not wanting to visit? You have given sd enough space and now she needs to be sat down and made to explain herself and she needs to do it in front of who ever she is most comfortable with to start with then go from there. It may be nothing and she needs to get over it or it could be something that needs to be worried about. Either way it is time for her to give her reasons.


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rebeccasmly
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:31 PM
BM is like that in our case too. I had to tell her recently the undies she had for OSD were too small and cutting into legs. SD was afraid to tell BM herself because BM doesn't listen and if she'll complain to them about money. It really is sad.
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Charli627
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:50 PM
Yeah how i found out was he has to put ds on his health insurance and i needed it one day so i had to call and verify all info. When me and the rep got to his info, she asked hid bday and i told her and she said it was wrong.
I called bd and asked "you do know when ds bday is right, cause the rep said its wrong in the system". He got mad and said of course he does, but yet a few months later ds bday came, he called on ds bday and didn't even say happy bday, which further proved he didn't know. And i have actually told him several times.


Quoting Refurbished:

How sad for your DS.  With my ex, I see it as his loss.  My kids are great kids and he's missing out on something wonderful.  Your ex is too.


Quoting Charli627:

Ds dad doesnt know his bday :(



Quoting Refurbished:

My ex is like that.  He knows nothing about our kids and doesn't want to know.  It's frustrating to watch sometimes.


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