I didn't see this coming...holy SH** what do I do? EXTRA RED Court UPDATE Blue
so you understand...
background: BM didn't have SD for the first five years and then we got joint physical and legal custody for the last 6 years. BM and YDD's father got together when SD was 9 mos old. she got pregnant, they got married, lost the baby, she got pregnant, they divorced when youngest was 2. Accusations of mental, physical, and verbal abuse against the married. We were invited as a family to everything for both SD and BM's YDD. birthdays, preschool graduation, etc etc. As well as BM and I colead girl scouts, roommoms, etc for SD. so I saw both girls pretty frequently up until a couple years ago when BM and I got into it over her now ex boyfriend and then we weren't invited anymore to anything and she dropped girl scouts. they broke up two weeks ago and apparently she wants to be buddies again.
today: i went to pick SD up for my ds birthday party. it was BM's weekend with both girls, so i asked where YDD is? she starts crying and shows me and order of protection in YDD name against BM that the father has filed. she has me read the allegations, petition, and OoP. my SD is mentioned atleast 16 times and they want her to testify. the court date is xmas eve morning cause it's an emergency case. BM is beside herself just keeps crying. and wants to know if I will testify. SD wants me to go with her to testify because she's scared and doesn't want BM or DH there.
I don't know if I would help or hurt. and I'm not sure either of them is the right choice for the little girl to be with. if i got to pick it would be the paternal grandparents.
Thoughts? I am so conflicted and kindof confused.
Court is tomorrow morning at 9am. DH and I neither have to testify. SD may still have to testify, but she said maternal grandma could hold her hand. So I am off the hook there too. although I am still kind of anxious for the outcome.
I got several texts from BM today, that had me shaking my head and thinking wow.
"if I get (YDD) back could you watch her Tuesday for me. I have to work 6am-2pm"
My reply: Tuesday is Xmas shouldn't she be with your family celebrating while your at work?
"My parents can't watch her. I am afraid (BF) will come and take her from them."
I'm thinking WTH? and WTH would I do?
"since (exboyfriend) and I are over. I don't have any one."
am thinking boo fricking hoo.
My reply: I really think (YDD) should spend xmas with her family, but if no one else will take her I will be your back up so you can work.
"ty I will drop her off tomorrow when I drop (our daughter) off."
at this point I was shaking my head. not only at her, but at me. because I just let myself get used so the little girl will be taken care of.
so I am going to go buy her a little present tomorrow so she has something to open while our kids open their presents xmas morning.
I am seriously beginning to see the BF's POV here.
any thoughts, comments, etc.
I'll post the court results tomorrow(as told by BM so with a grain of salt since I'm not going to court). but BM said she would let me know asap tomorrow whether I will have YDD tomorrow or not.
I honestly am anxious about her court bc her parenting is almost non existent, she is not maternal at all. but the girls are physically taken care of...bathed, fed, clothed.
and on one hand I am wondering if he succeeds should we attempt, or leave it alone.
COURT UPDATE: They were in court for 5 hours. BM has supervised visitation with YDD starting tonight from 5-7pm that is her holiday time now. I honestly feel really bad for the family, BM, and SD. but you kindof reap what you sow. I have not got to talk to SD yet and am afraid this is going to get blamed on her. I am severly curious and wondering how this happened when we have so much more against BM, then the allegations I read from her ex. I am hoping this is the best decision for the daughter.
any thoughts, comments, etc?
Kasi Lynn, Calvin David, & Lilith Jade's Mommy
The Work will wait while you show the child the RAINBOW, but the rainbow won't wait while you do your work.