Edited/Added my Responses to all replies-Spin off of Smiley's Post: Just give me $600 and we'll call it even/DELUSIONAL BM
EDIT: ADDED MORE PER ALL THE REPLIES. Cant reply to all so I added it at the end plus on here now too so you all see it if you dont yourself read every single post.
SORRY THIS GOT A LITTLE LONG, JUST WARNING YOU! LOL
I am just sitting here shaking my head! I'm sorry but there are alot of people out there that are saying that $600 a month for a 4 year old is reasonable!?
chanizen Replies: Last time I figured it out for dd... She costs well over $800 a month to maintain. Not including insurance/ medical ($170) or after School care and camps $600.
It costs about 180,000 to raise a child from birth to 18.
I would have to say that in all honesty sure, if you have alot of extra things that your child wants to do or you want to have your child in that is a different story. If you "CAN" aford it, is the point here. What if you can not afford it?? Would you go into debt just so your kids have top dollar stuff?? Because our life, I am a SAHM/SM. I have to stay home in order to care for DSD on my DH's parenting time when he has to work. If I worked and he did BM would have rights to take more custody from him because we'd have to get a baby sitter and she's Quote "Home all day to be there and care for her". ((Yeah, but you try supporting her on your own for once and see how it is... you'd change your tune! lmao)) I watch SD for a few hours until he gets home and then spends the rest of the day with her, just how it is. (Sry off topic) Anyways, Because I am a SAHM/SM we've had to down grade our life a bit which is no biggie anyways because how we do things as it is. I love goodwill shopping, garage sales, "FREE ON Craigslist" sort of deals. All time FAV is the DOLLAR STORES! I shop smart and cheap and get great deals. I find it funny that most people buy the expencive crap and I got mine at the Dollar store, for you guessed it "A DOLLAR!" haha
MY POINT: If you can afford it, than ya it costs alot more to care for a child. By all means, spend as much as you want on your child if your so loaded. But, if you can not afford it.... Than you cut back on things and start shopping around for cheaper stuff to make ends meet! There for a 4 Year Old CHILD does not incure $600 a month for Basic Needs. Someone mentioned as well child care. If BMS at home all day she dont have the kid in daycare!!
Also the point being here that DH and BM are split. Where as it sounds to me like "Chanizen" is a Bio mom herself and is figuring her own childs needs that has both parents supporting that child. If the BM belives that $600 is reasonable amount for child support than she should only in "REALITY" get $300! Because guess what? It took 2 to make that child and it takes "2" to raise it! Most child support orders give more to the BMs just because they sit at home on their asses collecting the CS and state assistance. I say the law should be changed and the fact that:
WHY SHOULD THE BIO DAD "HAVE" TO HAVE A JOB AND PAY CHILD SUPPORT. WHEN THE BIO MOM DOES NOT HAVE ONE????? Answer me that one! Not saying that BF should not pay support, What I am saying is that the BM should be made to work to support her own child/ren and not soly rely on the fathers to support the child and well.... the BMs too! Cause... Lets see.... BM needs stuff, gas money, bill money, rent money, toiletries, ect the list goes on and thats jus the basic crap. That doesn't include anything else that BM "Wants" or "Has 2 Have" either. Sooooooooooooooo if BM does not have a job how the F is she buying stuff to take care of herself.... let alone money for her child/ren that CS or Food Stams or Medicaid does not cover? Meaning... if BM gets Child Support, it is not truely child support because if all they have as an income is FS, Med, CS.... How does BM pay for things for herself if she has no job?
Why can't people just tell the BMs out there if they need more money to care for their child, to get up off their lazy ass and get a job? A child can not be fully supported on FS, Med, CS alone! BM SHOULD HAVE TO WORK TO SUPPORT HER OWN CHILD SHE MADE THE CHOICE TO CONCIVE AND GIVE BIRTH TO THAT CHILD! GROW THE HELL UP BMS UNDERSTAND IT TOOK 2 TO BEGIN WITH, IT STILL TAKES 2 EVEN IF YOU SPLIT UP!
Sorry, I guess that MEN have to support their kids while the Women dont have to? Just doesn't make any sense to me.
Wow, it went from CS to Bashing Dollar Stores?!
I dont soly shop at the dollar store. Granted they do have some nice things for cheaper. If I see something in Meijer, walmart, target, ect ect and buy it... But then I go to the dollar store and see the same damn thing for cheaper! I'm gonna do it! lmao.... Seriouslly its the same thing. Let me say this:
I get the less expencive diapers for my son. They work great with no problems and are cheaper. Saves me some money from buying "Huggies" so I can get other things that he needs. I go to meijer and get diapers for 8-10 a pack...............................BUT then when I decided to get the dollar store brand to check them out. GUESS WHAT PEOPLE?!?! IT WAS THE SAME FUCKING DIAPER! Seriouslly I shit you not! One had a Meijer lable on it, the dollar stores had their lable on it. But when you open them it is the same diaper right down to the last little design on it! Dollar store for some reason gets the diapers cheaper and does not try to screw you like the major stores do! I have noticed alot of things in dollar stores are exactly the same stuff as the major brands. Dog food lets say..... Meijer has a brand. Buy that, then go buy the simalure brand from a dollar store. Its the same Fing food! Like my dad always says "Same shit, different package!" "You are paying for a LABLE" not the contents!
I'd also like to say that no, I do not go there for food, unless we are out of lets say milk and I need it for my son or my husbands coffee in the morning. We live 20 miles from the grocery store we shop at. So i'm gonna have to say that if I dont have to drive that far for a gallon of milk.... and I can get it at the dollar store that is right around the corner from me only 1 mile than you bet your ass i'm going to go there first! Minor shopping at the dollar store is fine but you couldn't buy grocerys and support your family on that all week long. Dollar stores are not ment for that. It is to get a few things a bit cheaper so when you do go to the "Name Brand" grocery stores you can buy more than if you bought it all there. Belive me, try it once and you'll see there is nothing wrong with it.
Dish soap: Meijer-3-4$ Dollar general: 2-3 ((Brand depending lets say "DAWN"
Laundry soap: Meijer 5-6$ Dollar general: 3-5
So if you got lets say 10 items to 15 items and each were $1 to $2 cheaper... wouldn't you be saving $10-$15 to $20-$30??????????????????????
THEN YOU COULD GO AND BUY A NICE OUTFIT FROM THE MALL!
So seriouslly don't bash a dollar store unless you have the mind to "Understand" that it is in fact smarter shopping to watch what you buy instead of just getting the name brand items and paying out your ass.
I myself shop at 3-4 different dollar stores for specific items that save me money instead of going to just one store. Grocery shopping happens in, you guessed it... a Grocery Store! Getting food items to feed your family, yeah I go to the grocery store and get everything we need from there. But, In the end I save quite a bit of money shopping at a few dollar stores a month than buying it all in the grocery store! All is needed because my husband is taken for every dime of child support BM can get from him.
ALSO, i'd like to add too that just because I say that I am a SAHM does not mean I dont have a job. I work part time selling items on ebay. I dont make much but it helps greatly. I have been doing this so I can raise my own child instead of having someone else do it for me! Plus it helps out my husband too so he can see his daughter. ((Court would grant BM more custody if I worked too and he had to have daycare. BM dont work blah blah you know the deal)) But, He busts his ass every day for his mistake of screwing his ex bitch and getting her pregnant ((Not that SD is a mistake, just her mom is)). But he goes out and does it. I do what I can for the most part to support my own son as my DH has to care for his first child before his/my son. Its pretty bad when I feel that I am doing this part alone because my DH has to support his first child so BM can sit on her ass at home. It was %50-50 when they were together.... so why when they split should it be %100 on BF and %0 on BM?