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If BM sent this email to BF

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:00 AM
  • 104 Replies

 How would you respond? FYI, there is currently no CS order

Morning,

We need to figure out a few things here regarding financially
supporting D.  D deserves financial support from both parents.
 You and I did a great job with this (excluding child tax credit
issues and summer camp with me) while he was in your care full time.
However, I don't feel you are being fair now since D has been with
me full time.  You've contributed a total of $15 to his lunch account
since September, a Halloween cosutme, a pair of sneakers, and a few
left over school supplies you had from last year, since school started
in Sept.You asked if I already had grey attire for his play tomorrow,
and I told you I haven't purchased those yet, so I will be doing so
this evening.  While I am appreciatve of these things, D's monthly
expenses are far above what you're currently contributing. I am
thankful you were able to get D to his eight year check up.

His daycare is $70/week
Medicine is $30/month
Lunch is $2.15/day (whether he brings or buys, I think that's a fair estimate)
Seasonal clothes and shoes $250 since Sept..this is in addition to
initial school clothes shopping. That is $430 total.  I feel at least
half of this amount per month is fair to D to come from you.
This doesn't include all the last minute extras that come up, i can
put a detailed list together of those things if you'd like.

Please let me know how you'd like to address this situation. Thanks.

You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
dominic062407
by Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:11 AM
5 moms liked this
I'd feel I'm not the child's mom and id butt out sounds like bm is mature enough to discuss and not drag him to court rights away maybe dad should pay monthly it does take money to raise a kidbut send checks and money orders so you can prove they were sent
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tiredmama42
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:12 AM
3 moms liked this

215.00 a month is all she is asking for and she explained why and where it is going.  If a CS order is put in place it would be more than this even based on minimum wage. Plus they figure in who ever covers health insurance too.  

harrington_ou
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:20 AM
Wow! She's got balls. I'm a BM and I believe she went about it the wrong way and should have just asked if the two of them could sit down and talk. However she might know already that if she did take him to court she won't get what she is asking for straight out. I'd say before agreeing go to your states CS calculator and figure out what he should pay if less hit her back with that number, or suggest she take you to court.
RigPrincess85
by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:22 AM
1 mom liked this

I would think it sounds reasonable, especially if there is no CS order in place.  If a CS order was set up I imagine that he would be paying alot more than $215/month.  I would definitely keep records of every dollar that goes to BM, even if they are completely civil.  At least she's listing where the money is going... maybe they could have a sit down and discuss it further.  Sounds like they're able to be civil with one another.

I would give anything to have a BM that could be mature enough to deal with DH like that.

 

Lorena
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:24 AM
It sounds to be fair. I think the two of you should now discuss what you can afford also if she were to go to court for cs they would give her 15-35% of his pay. I would have dh look up what that would be and compaire that to what she is requesting. I think that the amount of 300-400 that she is requesting is fair but again I would look up what the state guidelines say. I have friends that pay over 1000 for 1 kid.
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pristine729
by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:26 AM
I'd give her at least $50 a week...
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yesmaam
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:27 AM

 BM has no clue what BF makes, all she knows is what city he's a police officer in. BM also works full time, and iBM has figured it out to the penny that if BM and BF made the exact same, he'd still be paying more than she's requesting for DS.

Quoting Lorena:

It sounds to be fair. I think the two of you should now discuss what you can afford also if she were to go to court for cs they would give her 15-35% of his pay. I would have dh look up what that would be and compaire that to what she is requesting. I think that the amount of 300-400 that she is requesting is fair but again I would look up what the state guidelines say. I have friends that pay over 1000 for 1 kid.

 

You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing

yesmaam
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:28 AM

 tooting my own horn here....I'm the BM lol. yes we are civil. Our love for DS is top priority regadless of how irritating we think each other are at times.

Quoting RigPrincess85:

I would think it sounds reasonable, especially if there is no CS order in place.  If a CS order was set up I imagine that he would be paying alot more than $215/month.  I would definitely keep records of every dollar that goes to BM, even if they are completely civil.  At least she's listing where the money is going... maybe they could have a sit down and discuss it further.  Sounds like they're able to be civil with one another.

I would give anything to have a BM that could be mature enough to deal with DH like that.

 

 

You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:29 AM

I would be pissed that he was not supporting his child and I would initiate the processes to get a formal CS order in place.

SammyJK
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Yeah she's got balls!! Bms pffft...lol
Seriously though, that email is fine imo.
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