Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Need Help Answering Amicus Attorney's Questionaire!!!

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:08 PM
  • 19 Replies

Background: I am only a few more weeks away from our official court date finalizing bm's parental termination and my adoption of my son. He has not seen her or had any contact with her in more than two years. The only legal contact that she has made was a phone call and an email (listing her ridiculous excuses for not doing anything over the past couple of years) to my son's amicus (court appointed) attorney more than a month after the attorney tried to contact her. The amicus attorney has sent me and my my husband similar questionnaires for us to fill out and return within 30 days.

The question is: "State each reason it would e a positive improvement for you to adop this child."

I know that this may sound ridiculous that I can not come up with this answer but I am having a hard time putting my thoughts into words. Here is what I have so far...

-(Son) would have a mother that will always put him before her own selfish desires.
-(Son) would have a constant, consistent mother figure.
-(Son) would be legally secure in his home life and situation if anything should happen to his father. He would not have to worry about where he would live or what would happen to him.

Earlier in the survey I said, "I believe that I should adopt (son) because I can and do give him the stability that he needs to thrive. I love him every bit as much as I love my biological child. I always put my children first and do whatever I can to make sure that (son) has everything that he needs to be successful and happy. I could go on for days about why I think that I should adopt (son) but the fact of the matter is that whether I adopt (son) or not, my love for him and my relationship with him will remain exactly the same. No matter what, I will always continue to love him and cherish him as the precious gift and blessing that he is. However, my main goal is to ensure his safety. If, Heaven forbid, anything happen to his father I would like to know that he will remain in a stable environment where he will be safe and can continue to thrive"

I just don't feel like that is enough reasons. I feel like there should be a million more reasons but in reality those are the major reasons that lead me to want to adopt my son. Is there something that I'm not thinking of? Is that enough? Maybe I'm over thinking this. I just want to make sure it is done right.

**As always, no bashing please. :)

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:08 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:20 PM
1 mom liked this
I would go back over things and restate them in factual terms. Try to take the emotion out. Your first two reasons basically compare why you feel you are better than BM. Even if it is fact as far as you are concerned, it might not seem that way to someone else, kwim.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
adamsmom0116
by Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:22 PM

I would agree with this. Sounds like you're on the right track, just take out the emotions and stick to the facts.

Quoting SassyMom25:

I would go back over things and restate them in factual terms. Try to take the emotion out. Your first two reasons basically compare why you feel you are better than BM. Even if it is fact as far as you are concerned, it might not seem that way to someone else, kwim.


Mommyof5247
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:28 PM
Of the 3. I would use the 2nd & 3rd reasons.
The first sounds a bit catty.
There are many legal reasons why it would benefit your family to be declared his mother but 3 simplifies those.
You will be able the play a larger or direct role in determining what's best for him. I agree with Sassymom25, list the facts.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
EmBoogRaysMommy
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:31 PM


Quoting SassyMom25:

I would go back over things and restate them in factual terms. Try to take the emotion out. Your first two reasons basically compare why you feel you are better than BM. Even if it is fact as far as you are concerned, it might not seem that way to someone else, kwim.


Ok. But that now leaves me with only one reason why I think he would be better off if I adopted him. I definitely think that I need more than one reason... Even if it is a good reason.

EmBoogRaysMommy
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:36 PM


Quoting Mommyof5247:

Of the 3. I would use the 2nd & 3rd reasons.
The first sounds a bit catty.
There are many legal reasons why it would benefit your family to be declared his mother but 3 simplifies those.
You will be able the play a larger or direct role in determining what's best for him. I agree with Sassymom25, list the facts.


How dose this sound?

I would be able to play a bigger role in determining what is in (son's) best interest.

Refurbished
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:36 PM
1 mom liked this

" would have a mother that will always put him before her own selfish desires."

I would leave out anything that smacks his bio-mom.  She may have given good reason to feel that way, but it could be construed as the adoption is a war you are waging to win with the bio-mom.

EmBoogRaysMommy
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:50 PM

Okay.. y'all are right. I took out the first reason and I added "I would be able to play a bigger role in determining what is in (son's) best interest."

Mommyof5247
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:54 PM
I think it's a fact & it's to the point. Once he's your son, you are legally bound by the decisions you make, not just DH. Whereas, right now, you may make decisions & give DH your input, but he takes the responsibility for those actions & decisions. (If you feel the need to clarify).

Does the questionnaire ask about the solidarity of your marriage? Or how you & DH parent together? You are wanting to adopt but the strength of the family unit plays a role. Can that fit into your facts? DH & I are strong communicators who are devoted to our family...son benefits from our mutual respect & support? It may need to be lightened up a bit but you get the idea.


Quoting EmBoogRaysMommy:



Quoting Mommyof5247:

Of the 3. I would use the 2nd & 3rd reasons.
The first sounds a bit catty.
There are many legal reasons why it would benefit your family to be declared his mother but 3 simplifies those.
You will be able the play a larger or direct role in determining what's best for him. I agree with Sassymom25, list the facts.


How dose this sound?


I would be able to play a bigger role in determining what is in (son's) best interest.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
EmBoogRaysMommy
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:08 PM

 

Quoting Mommyof5247:

I think it's a fact & it's to the point. Once he's your son, you are legally bound by the decisions you make, not just DH. Whereas, right now, you may make decisions & give DH your input, but he takes the responsibility for those actions & decisions. (If you feel the need to clarify).

Does the questionnaire ask about the solidarity of your marriage? Or how you & DH parent together? You are wanting to adopt but the strength of the family unit plays a role. Can that fit into your facts? DH & I are strong communicators who are devoted to our family...son benefits from our mutual respect & support? It may need to be lightened up a bit but you get the idea.




How dose this sound?


I would be able to play a bigger role in determining what is in (son's) best interest.

There aren't any questions in this survey about my relationship wth DH or our parenting style. When se was first appointed as his attorney there was a mile long survey that we both had to fill out that covered that and much much more. This one is only 15 questions long and the first 6 cover who his dr. is, what school he goes to, health insurance, etc.

EmBoogRaysMommy
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:13 PM


Quoting Mommyof5247:

Of the 3. I would use the 2nd & 3rd reasons.
The first sounds a bit catty.
There are many legal reasons why it would benefit your family to be declared his mother but 3 simplifies those.
You will be able the play a larger or direct role in determining what's best for him. I agree with Sassymom25, list the facts.


How about this instead...

(Son) would have another person who is legally responsible for him and who can make decisions regarding his health and best interest in the case that his father is not able to tend to the situation.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)