Well it's been two full weeks and disengaging has helped and I can't wait to see what the next month will bring! DH is now having to handle his daughter and being a dad, I swear it has made him love our son more. He has been buying special surprises and playing with him more. I feel like it's because now, every evening, he sees how much I did with SD, he can see how much time and energy only one child was getting from him for so long. We have been taking turns with evening chores so he can spend the time with the kids and then I'll do bath time ... anyway, it's working and SD is begging me to do a lot of the things I did before because some of her activities have slowed ... but my son is able to get his afternoon naps in again. All in all, for the time being, this tactic is the only thing that has worked in years! Thanks moms for giving me the support I needed when I was at the bottom!