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Update on disengaging

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 3:46 PM
  • 13 Replies
1 mom liked this

Well it's been two full weeks and disengaging has helped and I can't wait to see what the next month will bring! DH is now having to handle his daughter and being a dad, I swear it has made him love our son more. He has been buying special surprises and playing with him more. I feel like it's because now, every evening, he sees how much I did with SD, he can see how much time and energy only one child was getting from him  for so long. We have been taking turns with evening chores so he can spend the time with the kids and then I'll do bath time ... anyway, it's working and SD is begging me to do a lot of the things I did before because some of her activities have slowed ... but my son is able to get his afternoon naps in again. All in all, for the time being, this tactic is the only thing that has worked in years! Thanks moms for giving me the support I needed when I was at the bottom!

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 3:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rebeccasmly
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:29 PM
1 mom liked this

So glad things are working out!

notuseless
by Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 7:31 PM
1 mom liked this

yay

Charli627
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:18 PM
1 mom liked this
:)
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raerae725
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:44 PM
1 mom liked this

YAY!

mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:50 PM
What is disegaging?
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TempestRayne
by Donna on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:22 PM
1 mom liked this
DISENGAGING in this Context is a stepparent removing themselves from a position of authority and responsibility over a stepchild. This causes the child's natural parent to have to step in and fill those roles entirely. It is of benefit when there is excessive friction in the stepparent/child relationship, or when the differences between parenting styles between the natural parent and the stepparent are too great to compromise with.


Quoting mamaBerg85:

What is disegaging?

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mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 6:48 AM
Well good dor u but it'd b never work for me. Bm will never step up.


Quoting TempestRayne:

DISENGAGING in this Context is a stepparent removing themselves from a position of authority and responsibility over a stepchild. This causes the child's natural parent to have to step in and fill those roles entirely. It is of benefit when there is excessive friction in the stepparent/child relationship, or when the differences between parenting styles between the natural parent and the stepparent are too great to compromise with.




Quoting mamaBerg85:

What is disegaging?


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TempestRayne
by Donna on Dec. 13, 2012 at 6:53 AM
This doesn't usually refer to the bm. In the case of stepmoms, it refers to dad stepping up and taking care of things-parenting his child/children when he is present and often making childcare arrangements for times when he is unavailable. The stepparent is left pretty much out of the equation, whether the other parent is there or not.


Quoting mamaBerg85:

Well good dor u but it'd b never work for me. Bm will never step up.




Quoting TempestRayne:

DISENGAGING in this Context is a stepparent removing themselves from a position of authority and responsibility over a stepchild. This causes the child's natural parent to have to step in and fill those roles entirely. It is of benefit when there is excessive friction in the stepparent/child relationship, or when the differences between parenting styles between the natural parent and the stepparent are too great to compromise with.






Quoting mamaBerg85:

What is disegaging?



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mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 7:10 AM
Personally I think that if I did that then my husband would feel like a single dad again. If he wantee to be a single dad I'm sure he would of stayed that way. If it works for u though great. Not for everyone I guess. However maybe it's because my husband was a stepdad to my daughter and I'd be pissed if he had told me he wanted to do that then or now. (He adopted my daughter)


Quoting TempestRayne:

This doesn't usually refer to the bm. In the case of stepmoms, it refers to dad stepping up and taking care of things-parenting his child/children when he is present and often making childcare arrangements for times when he is unavailable. The stepparent is left pretty much out of the equation, whether the other parent is there or not.




Quoting mamaBerg85:

Well good dor u but it'd b never work for me. Bm will never step up.






Quoting TempestRayne:

DISENGAGING in this Context is a stepparent removing themselves from a position of authority and responsibility over a stepchild. This causes the child's natural parent to have to step in and fill those roles entirely. It is of benefit when there is excessive friction in the stepparent/child relationship, or when the differences between parenting styles between the natural parent and the stepparent are too great to compromise with.








Quoting mamaBerg85:

What is disegaging?




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sassy711
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 7:11 AM
1 mom liked this

Glad this has worked for you!

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