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How to address a teacher..

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:31 AM
  • 30 Replies

This is in regards to my DS. ( My SS's mom is my best friend)  She is also good friends with my DS's teacher.   The teacher keeps emailing my BF with issues concerning my son's behavior then I get it 3rd hand.  It really upsets me that the teacher is going around me.  I want to email the teacher but I am afraid in turn she will also say something to my friend to cause problems in a negative way.  How would you deal with this ?  I dont want to be offensive but I think I have the right as his mother to have direct communication.  

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AleaKat
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:33 AM
Ask if she could CC you on the emails so you get whatever he gets.
Be nice but firm about it.
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SammyJK
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:52 AM
Im confused. Are you mom or stepmom?
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rebeccasmly
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:34 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't understand why she would not include you on any correspondence about your child. I would send an email politely asking to be included in all emails regarding your son and include an email address for them to be sent to. I would also CC your son's BF in it so he knows what you sent the teacher.

SavesSpiders
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:41 AM

Agree 100%  

Quoting AleaKat:

Ask if she could CC you on the emails so you get whatever he gets.
Be nice but firm about it.


tiredmama42
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:57 AM


Quoting SammyJK:

Im confused. Are you mom or stepmom?

I know its confusing.  I am the mom in this case.  My friend is my step sons mother.   (She just acts like a SM to my son).    She is also good friends with my DS's teacher. 

AustinsMama1226
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Be polite but firm and provide your email
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MamaMoopsie
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:44 AM
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Tell your friend that you plan on talking to the teacher and asking that she please address issues/concerns directly with you. That way she doesn't feel blind sided when it comes from the teacher that you asked for this. Make sure you tell her that it isn't that you don't trust her but that as his mother you want to be in the loop.

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:06 AM

Well, I wouldn't email.  I would speak directly with the teacher, letting her know that while BM is a good friend and good at passing along information, it's inappropriate for you to be receiving information 3rd hand regarding your son.  In the future, if she has any news or information to share that involves you, she needs to email you or at the very least ensure that you are CC'd on the emails.  As for your friend, you should be able to vent to your best friend about why your DS's teacher can't just email you rather than going through someone else.  BM may not have put much thought into it because you are friends, but it's actually a rather awkward position the teacher is putting her in by circumventing you.  It would also be helpful to you if BM delivered a similar message to the teacher about making sure you were copied, as your son is your business.

tiredmama42
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:23 AM


Quoting Derdriu:

Well, I wouldn't email.  I would speak directly with the teacher, letting her know that while BM is a good friend and good at passing along information, it's inappropriate for you to be receiving information 3rd hand regarding your son.  In the future, if she has any news or information to share that involves you, she needs to email you or at the very least ensure that you are CC'd on the emails.  As for your friend, you should be able to vent to your best friend about why your DS's teacher can't just email you rather than going through someone else.  BM may not have put much thought into it because you are friends, but it's actually a rather awkward position the teacher is putting her in by circumventing you.  It would also be helpful to you if BM delivered a similar message to the teacher about making sure you were copied, as your son is your business.

I  am the BM  and I just emailed the teacher.  I told her that though I appreciate my friends interest in my DS that I am his mother and its my job to address his issues starting at home first.

My SS is in college now and I think she kinda has empty nest syndrome so she oversteps the boundaries with my son at times.   Just to clarify.. I was the SM to her son  at one time.  (we both divorced the same man) She is not a SM to my DS.

 

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:29 AM

Ah, I thought she was still BM to your SS and assumed the kids were around the same age.  But now I'm really confused.  She doesn't have a kid in the same class, same age bracket, etc., so why is the teacher talking to her at all with regard to your son? 

My initial interpretation was that ya'll both had bios in the same class (or close) and that the teacher was emailing your friend about her son and including information about your son, which you then had to hear third hand.  Obviously, that assumption was waaaaaaaay off.  If your friend doesn't even have a kid in school... what the heck?  Who emails a random person about someone else's kid (even if said random person does happen to be a close friend of the parent)?  That's weird.

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