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SD starting counseling

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:38 PM
  • 2 Replies

So, I posted earlier about SD having an intake appointment for counseling. Well, it's been approved and everything is good to go. The counseling center has a therapist that goes to SD's school, so SD will just see the therapist that goes to the school. She called me today and we planned SD's first session for the Thursday after school starts back up. After she meets with SD she's going to schedule a home visit so she can meet DH and I and discuss things.

Anyways, the therapist said that based on SD's intake evaluation it sounds that SD has been the victim of a LOT of emotional abuse from BM and BM's mom. The therapist asked if SD was going to see BM over Christmas break, and I told her that SD is supposed to go from Dece 26-Jan 1 with BM, but BM hasn't made definite plans yet. This is pretty common with BM, she usually makes the plans just a few days in advanced, but we've made sure to schedule all of our Christmas celebrations on the time SD is to be with us.

The therapist has asked that we not inform BM that SD will be seeing a therapist yet. She wants to be able to discuss with SD normal behavior for BM's house and visits with BM. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I haven't had a chance to talk to DH about it yet, he's still at work for another hour and a half. DH was pissed when BM didn't tell him about therapy when she had custody, and I don't want to do the same thing. But, on the other hand, we aren't just not saying anything at all. We're just waiting until after SD has a chance to meet with the therapist first.

Oh, the CO doesn't give a specific time frame for updating BM about appointments, specialists, and such. She's just supposed to have joint legal custody.

Thoughts? 

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:38 PM
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MommaC11
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:18 PM

How old is your stepdaughter? I don't see why you couldn't inform the biomom that the daughter will be periodically visiting the counsellor at school from time to time just to have someone else to talk to. Run the idea past the daughter first and see what she thinks -- especially if the topic of conversation is her mother and grandmother(?) and their alleged abuses. The daughter will likely not want to discuss the topic of conversation with her counselor either...

I would imagine the daughter would not like her mother to know of the things she's talking to the counselor about if it relates to her mother and poor behavior. But it is your responsibility to keep the other party informed... but your decision to what extent you divulge what the purpose of the counseling is.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:35 PM

SD is 12, but developmentally about 8-9ish. The counselor is a counselor who works at a local mental health facility, but goes to the schools to visit her clients rather than seeing them at the counseling office.

SD had an intake with them last week and after what SD told them about BM and BM's mom they want her seen reguarly and after discussing it with DH and I we all decided that it would be easiest if SD saw the counselor that goes to her school. 

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