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how would you feel?

Posted by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:29 AM
  • 14 Replies

ok ladies, I would like some feed back especially from BM.

If your X decided to get remarried and had already proposed to SM, how would you feel if SM was to go out of her way and invite you into her house and tell you that she hopes that you and her can become friends and not have any drama and that SM wants you to know that she will never and can never take your place as mom and that you could call or come see your son at any given time. But for the most part she wants you to know that just because she is marryng your X that she in no way shape or form will try to take your place


thank you ladies

by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:31 AM

I  would think the SM was naive to think that I would be worried about her taking my place as a mother to my kids. I would think she SHOULD be taking my place as a wife to my Ex. She is taking my place in that way. But not as a mother to my kids.

I would think that probably the SM meant well and I would appreciate the gesture. I woudl not want to hurt her feelings, so I would go along with it.

MommySabs
by Gold Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:32 AM
I would have no interest in having any such conversation with my exh fiancé nor did I request that of bm when dh and I got engaged.
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SammyJK
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:37 AM
1 mom liked this
I would think future sm was getting waaaay ahead of herself!
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Bertieb
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:45 AM

BM wanted to do this with me when I married her ex but I told him I didn't see any point so we never got back with her. She was supposed to take her name off their deed and she tried to use sitting down with me as a condition to her signing it plus she came and took the washer and dryer that she had previously decided she didn't want. Needless to say, I wasn't interested in a sit down after that.

In your case though, I think she probably did mean well, especially if she has been on here and seen how polarized both sides can be sometimes. I get along ok with BM but I am wary of her and keep my guard up. She says we are friends and she see's us as "one big family" to her kids. I see us as 2 separate but keep my mouth shut!

needsupport100
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:47 AM

i wouldn't care, we divorced for a reason. as long as she doesn't directly put my kids in harms way-i have no say in the matter any way

KLBrown
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:49 AM
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I think she means well & that's a nice gesture.

Mommy4000
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:55 AM
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I would find it to be a very mature gesture on her part and would appreciate it a lot. My husband has dealt with many, many of his daughters mom's SO's, and he always appreciated when the guy stepped up and assured him that he would do his best to care for his daughter the way that my husband would. Unfortunately it was only a few that this happened with, and the good ones never stuck around (not that I blame them) but it always made him feel better to know who was living with his daughter. If I were in that position I would love for the new woman in my exs life to approach me in a mature and friendly way.

Seychelles1409
by Gold Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:57 AM

I would feel the SM was being considerate of my feelings and that she realized the situation was a difficult one for me.    Of course, she can't take my place as a mother to my children, but the fact that she was courteous enough - and brave enough - to actually talk to me face-to-face about this says a lot about her character.  Most people would avoid "the elephant in the room" and while she only stated the obvious, I give her kudos for bringing it out in the open and letting us start out fresh.

kristinbugg
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:04 AM



Quoting whatIknownow:

I  would think the SM was naive to think that I would be worried about her taking my place as a mother to my kids. I would think she SHOULD be taking my place as a wife to my Ex. She is taking my place in that way. But not as a mother to my kids.

I would think that probably the SM meant well and I would appreciate the gesture. I woudl not want to hurt her feelings, so I would go along with it.


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afc1975
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:26 AM

I give her alot of respect for that. I wish my husband Ex and I could get along it's alot easier on the kids. She is thinking about the kids and not herself. When my kids BF remarried I was happy that my kids got along with their step mom, and that her and I could have a conversation about the kids...

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