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Christmas Custody Sharing

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:29 AM
  • 16 Replies

My fiance and ASD's mother has joint custody. So we share every other holiday from the previous year. Last year BM had ASD for Christmas eve and Christmas day. BM won't let us have ASD for Christmas, even though Christmas falls on the week that BM has daughter we are still suppose to have her for Christmas. It is court ordered.We are in NY state.

Has anyone gone through this? What did you do?

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:29 AM
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by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:39 AM
DH told BM he was going to file contempt against her in court. She didn't want to go back, so she gave DSS to DH (not on the right day, but before Christmas). He eventually did have to file contempt to get her to stop.

DF probably wouldn't get it to court in time, but for holiday visitation the court will hear the case the first time (SIL's ex accused her of this because she wasn't letting him have every full Christmas break -he lost, but they heard the case). What typically would happen is when they get it into court, they would give DF the next 2 Christmases to make up for it.
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:51 AM
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If it's court ordered, then there's no discussion. It would be considered withholding custody and she could be in contempt of the court order.

Even if it's technically "her week" -- if the court order says every other Christmas Eve and Christmas Day is yours, then that's it. No more discussion.

If she doesn't want to comply, then let her know your attorney will be calling her shortly. I would imagine that by reminding her what the court order says and your attorney's involvement, then that would be enough for any reasonable person.

If not, don't give an empty threat. Call your attorney and move forward. It is easier to be proactive than reactive.

by Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 1:30 PM

My SD lives with us full time. Our parenting pan states that we get my SD on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. We have to have her to BMs by noon on Christmas Day. This happens every year. BM brings her home the next day. I prefer this arrangement. It's better than not having her at all on Christmas or not getting Christmas morning with her.

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:39 PM
We have always shared the kids, switching christmas eve & christmas day from year to year so kids could spend time with both parents. But this year christmas is not on a weekend as it has been in the past, so BM is not going to allow us to see them at all. It is very unfair seeing as no matter who's 'week' it was we've always shared. This year BM is keeping them the 1st week of xmas break, she will not budge. So we had to go to their divorce decree. Unfortunately it says nothing about christmas eve, so she wins...looks like we will have them during the holiday next year. :(
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by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:07 PM

Remind her of the court order letting her know you will proceed with contempt if she refuses. If she still refuses, be prepared to follow through. If you don't, she will do this again.

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:10 PM
Holidays are not court ordered in our arrangement t actually says for us holidays are as parties agree. We have always split the holidays though. I normally have her in the mornin because she lives with me. But if it's
Court ordered call the court house. Tomorrow talk to someone and see what you can do. Because that is contempt. She has to follow it.
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by Ruby Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:13 PM
What does ASD stand for?
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by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:41 PM

 take it to court. bc it says "every other year" you can't prove that bm had her last year, so you'll probably just have to go without... but id have it written more specific. "on even years.... on odd years...." include thanksgiving, or any other holiday you want specified.
our co also says alternating years ss is with parent A xmas eve at 10am til xmas day at 10am. then parent b xmas day 10 until the day after at 10am.
however, we don't follow that... ss is in kindergarten now so.... we keep ss, starting christmas vacation, for xmas eve overnight til 10am xmas day. bm get xmas day until whenever half of the vacation is (co says 50% school vacations to each parent) then we get the rest of the vacation.

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:02 PM

Call a lawyer.

by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 12:03 AM
Dh co says that holiday visits precede weekend/normal visits, so who ever has the holiday visitation is suppose to get it regardless of the normal schedule
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