Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Argument with dh about fairness of Christmas presents

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:38 AM
  • 25 Replies

I was telling dh I need to finish Christmas shopping, I was naming everyone I have left to buy for.

He said what about ss. I told him after you buy his shoes, that will be it. I will probably get him another shirt if I can find the one he wants.

Dh said that I shouldn't include what HE bought ss in my budget. He wants me to spend the same I spent on my kids, not including the 2 things he has for him. A video game, 60$ and shoes that will cost the same.

My ds is in drug rehab. I am very proud of him, but according to dh, that should be his Christmas present because it's costing us money. So me, being the person I am when he attacks my children told him that ss is getting ready to get braces and THAT should be his Christmas present.

All so stupid really.

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:38 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:39 AM

lol your kid is in drug rehab and his kid needs braces.  Yep so totally the same thing.


macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:40 AM
1 mom liked this

That being said, all kids in the family should have equal presents because in theory none should be loved more than another.

TS9509
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:42 AM
1 mom liked this
My DH and I agreed that we spend the same dollar amount on the boys regardless who's bank account it comes from. We keep a notebook and subtract the amount the gift bought cost.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
GypsyRayne
by Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:42 AM

Until you have a child that needs to go to drug rehab, you can never understand just what a big thing this is. I don't need dh to pay anything at all on this, I can and will do it myself.

macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:51 AM


Quoting GypsyRayne:

Until you have a child that needs to go to drug rehab, you can never understand just what a big thing this is. I don't need dh to pay anything at all on this, I can and will do it myself.

Well you are the one who brought up the two.  And my point is simply, the two are not comparable.  Your child chose to do drugs.  His child did not choose to have crooked teeth.  kwim  But I do agree that your son should still get presents... hope the rehab helps and your son has a happy and healthy life.

mom7834
by Bronze Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:57 AM

Do you have joint finances?  If so..why shouldn't you include what HE bought for his son?

or do you buy for your kids/he buy for his?  I do know what a big deal rehab is.  My oss is almost

2 years clean.  It was a long hard road, many many setbacks.  We are very proud of him these days.

I hope your son does well.   It took oss about 5 times in treatment and living on the streets to

finally want to be clean.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:59 AM

Since your husband is buying presents for his son, let him buy whatever else he feels his son needs to get. There is no need to have an argument about it, with your son in drug rehab, it is best you buy for your son and DH buys for his.

GypsyRayne
by Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:02 AM

Do you have joint finances?

We do have joint finances, however we both have seperate accounts. What usually happens is dh buys a couple things for ss and I buy the rest. So his reasoning is completely irrational.

weaveress
by Bronze Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:02 AM

I do all the shopping for all the kids, so we don't have this arguement. They get a set amount of money for stocking, gifts for each other, and presents under the tree. SD this year decided she wanted to be in band. a saxophone, the band director is picky and will only allow three brand names which are around $1300 so SD got the choice saxophone with minimal birthday/xmas for the next 5 years. 3 yrs if BM actually pays her share. or xmas and birthdays like normal. she chose the saxophone. so for xmas she is getting a betta fish and all the stuff for it from her siblings only.  

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:11 AM

DH and I have both joint and separate accounts, we are both responsible for specific bills, however we are free to buy on our own whatever other miscellaneous items we fancy like gifts for our children.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)