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Step kid here

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:38 PM
  • 8 Replies
I am a step kid and have a step mom. My relationahip growing up with her was in and out my dad had the help of my grandparents so for the most part they took the place or parents. My step mom was involved in our lives when it came to school or our dad giving us money. Once my half siblings came in the picture she made sure we werent bad influences on them so we didnt see much of them or my dad. As adults my half siblings came to find them selves pregnant teens or in jail and living off my step mom at the age of 25, 21, & 19. My older sister is a lawyer, im going to be finishing my masters in health and science and my little brother is finishing his bachlors in flim and directing. My step mom wasnt the greatest person to us but she wasnt the worst either, but she was the only mother we knew and she taught us how.not to be when it came to parenting and for that we all forgave her and help.her when she is financially in need.
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by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:38 PM
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whatIknownow
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:41 PM

It sounds like your grandparents did a good job of raising you. And your SM didnt' do too much damage, since she had the good sense to send you away so you could grow up right.

Nml71011
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:44 PM
Yes very true, we have been very blessed with our grandparents and even more blessed to have our step.mom. She is a good person and we all still love and respect her no matter what her intentions were then.
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whatIknownow
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:55 PM
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Quoting Nml71011:

Yes very true, we have been very blessed with our grandparents and even more blessed to have our step.mom. She is a good person and we all still love and respect her no matter what her intentions were then.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - Steplife takes a LOT of forgiveness. Those who hold grudges will fail. Those who forgive will succeed and be happy.

knoxmomof2
by Bronze Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:16 PM
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I have a SD from DHs first marriage. I don't know your Dad, or your stepmom, but let me tell you that the only person who could stop your Dad from seeing you and your siblings was your Dad! It might seem easier to blame your SM, but if a parent loves their child enough, no one will keep them from being in their life. 

I was a bit of a pain in that department with DH and DSD early on. BM was so mean and caused us so many problems that I let my feelings about BM affect my relationship with SD, instead of being angry at the person who deserved it- BM. I was never mean to SD but i could have been warmer at times. DH stood up for SD and set me straight! You really should talk to your Dad and get answers from him, if you can. Good luck!

OvrMyHead
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 11:11 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting whatIknownow:

 

Quoting Nml71011:

Yes very true, we have been very blessed with our grandparents and even more blessed to have our step.mom. She is a good person and we all still love and respect her no matter what her intentions were then.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - Steplife takes a LOT of forgiveness. Those who hold grudges will fail. Those who forgive will succeed and be happy.

Wow, great insight from the skid!  You sound like a very mature and humble adult, bravo to your grandparents and whomever else raised you!

Thanks for that quote.  I'm trying....

rebeccasmly
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 11:20 AM
1 mom liked this

Your grandparents did an awesome job raising you. I think it is wonderful you have the maturity to let the past be the past and move forward.


Nml71011
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 3:27 PM
Thanks but we all know my dads and my SM side of the story. My SM dealt once with my Bio mother but that was once. My bio mom never came around. I never said my dad was innocent, but it doesnt matter to me.my relationship my parents (SM and bio dad) is a work in progress but there is a relationship thats what matters to me. I am a step mom now myself to a beautiful 3 year old little girl , she is absolutly amazing and I know I will not allow her to feel the way I did with my SM nor will I treat her as I was treated. So I am a step kid and I am a step mom, I understand my moms side now more than ever and I know how it feels to be in my step daughters shoes.


Quoting knoxmomof2:

I have a SD from DHs first marriage. I don't know your Dad, or your stepmom, but let me tell you that the only person who could stop your Dad from seeing you and your siblings was your Dad! It might seem easier to blame your SM, but if a parent loves their child enough, no one will keep them from being in their life. 

I was a bit of a pain in that department with DH and DSD early on. BM was so mean and caused us so many problems that I let my feelings about BM affect my relationship with SD, instead of being angry at the person who deserved it- BM. I was never mean to SD but i could have been warmer at times. DH stood up for SD and set me straight! You really should talk to your Dad and get answers from him, if you can. Good luck!


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Charli627
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 7:13 PM
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Quoting rebeccasmly:

Your grandparents did an awesome job raising you. I think it is wonderful you have the maturity to let the past be the past and move forward.


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