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How can you go this long without contacting your child?

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 9:32 PM
  • 41 Replies

BM didn't call SD on Christmas.  She hasn't contacted her in 8 months.  I know I have complained before, but I just cannot understand it.  I know I will never understand it, but I always try to.  BM is 8 months pregnant with her third child, third dad, she does not see either of her first two kids.  She was contacting her YDD up until about a month ago, but hasn't spoken with SD since April.  She did leave one message for her in June on her birthday saying she would call that weekend since it was 9:30pm when she called...she never called again.

I just can't imagine going that long without talking to my kids, DS or SD.  It makes me so sad.

by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 9:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
PROGENITOR
by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 9:56 PM
1 mom liked this

IDK. I don't understand mothers who can just dismiss their own kids like that.

My son was hanging on me earlier, like a monkey child, and he was hugging me so tight. I get so amazed at how much my kids love me. They would crawl back inside me if they could. LOL I could never just leave them.

Women who do this have something wrong with them.

leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 10:10 PM

Sounds like she has some emotional disorder affecting her ability to attach to her offspring.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 10:14 PM
Oh honey. I am sorry I know this is hard for you to watch. It just amazes me. I shed a small tear last night although I said I would NOT cry this time, because I had not talked with Dd11 since last Friday. I keep trying to build up my tolerance - I did pretty well this week, considering it's been about 6 months since I've gone longer than 4 days without her. I will never understand mothers OR fathers that do this ON purpose. Or 'on their own'.

I'm so sorry that your sd has to have that void in her life. I wish I had more advice for you. Big hugs!!
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rebeccasmly
by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:43 PM
I don't know, I don't understand it, I don't want to understand. I'm a mess when my kids go to camp. Next year my son starts college. He'll be home every night but still i'm a wreck thinking about it. Our BM has contact once a month with SKs. How? I don't know.
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Seychelles1409
by Silver Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 11:45 PM

Some women don't have the maternal instinct--reference Susan Smith of South Carolina and others who have murdered their own children.  In your case,  your SD is lucky to have you as a MOM who obviously loves and cares about her.  

mom2boys664
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 12:29 AM

BM in our situation has not seen kids in 18 mos. She has stated that she wants to be left.alone and does not want any contact. She also has older kids that she abandoned. I cannot imagine and have turned this ov we r jn my head so many times i cannot say. We think she may have borderline personality disorder- Idk, at least its a  possible explanation.

afwifeandmommy3
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 12:34 AM
Some people are not attached to their kids
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carolulu
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 12:43 AM

For my SD, it has been 10 years.  Don't try to get into the BM's head...just be there for SD.  It is a lot easier mentally that way.  We think the BM in our spot has a mental issue (my SD has a tentative DX of bipolar, depression, suicidal tendencies and SI)....

TJandKarasMom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 3:17 PM

When SD went out of state to visit BM last year at this time, it was 5 days and we talked to her almost each day, I cried/got teary eyed more than once during that 5 days..especially after leaving the airport.  It had been 22 months since she had been away from us overnight at all.  And this is not my kid, lol.  But I still cried.  I missed her so much!  I can't imagine going even a week without seeing/talking to her nevermind months! 

Quoting momof2ex1:

Oh honey. I am sorry I know this is hard for you to watch. It just amazes me. I shed a small tear last night although I said I would NOT cry this time, because I had not talked with Dd11 since last Friday. I keep trying to build up my tolerance - I did pretty well this week, considering it's been about 6 months since I've gone longer than 4 days without her. I will never understand mothers OR fathers that do this ON purpose. Or 'on their own'.

I'm so sorry that your sd has to have that void in her life. I wish I had more advice for you. Big hugs!!


TJandKarasMom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 3:19 PM

I don't understand it either.  I just can't imagine it.  I think my SD would crawl inside me though she didn't come from there, lol.  My kids are bigger, but they still hang on me too, lol. 

Quoting PROGENITOR:

IDK. I don't understand mothers who can just dismiss their own kids like that.

My son was hanging on me earlier, like a monkey child, and he was hugging me so tight. I get so amazed at how much my kids love me. They would crawl back inside me if they could. LOL I could never just leave them.

Women who do this have something wrong with them.


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