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50/50 parenting time schedule

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 8:51 PM
  • 29 Replies

My ex and I have joint custody with 50/50 parenting time and niether of us have any desire to change that. We had been doing a schedule that consisted of me getting them Sunday, monday, and tuesday nights and him getting them thursday friday and saturday nights with us alternating every other wednesday night.  It worked well because I worked every weekend and he had every weekend off.  But now that I'm cutting down to two days a week at work and going to school, things are changing and so is the schedule and I'm a little bit nervous. Now we are going to be making it so that I have them every other weekend as well and doing 2 and 3 day time blocks instead of 3 and 4 day time blocks.  We will do ...  Ex-h: mon, tues. Me: weds thurs. Ex-h: fri, sat, sun. Me: mon, tues. Ex-h: weds, thurs. Me: fri, sat, sun. And then do it all over again. Has anybody had a schedule similar to this? How did it work out? We thought about making the blocks longer, like one week here, one week there. But our youngest is not quite two years old so we think hes way too young to be away from either of us for that long of an amount of time.  But at the same time it has out 4 and 6 year old bouncing from house to house a lot more...

I know that 50/50 doesn't work for all kids or all parents, but our kids have seemed to thrive on it so far.  They love getting to see both of us equally and not having to go a long time without seeing either of us... I do worry about having them bouncing around more now though.  I made a calendar for them where I colored mommy nights in pink and daddy nights in blue so that they can see it whenever they want to.  Ex-H and I get along really well, so luckily the frequent interaction that comes with so many pick-ups and drop-offs and the large amount of communication that comes with a 50/50 schedule really isn't an issue for us.  Anyway... if you have a schedule similar to this let me know how it has worked out for you and if you have a 50/50 schedule that's different, what is yours and how old are your kids?

by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 8:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kappalopokis
by Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:18 PM
My DH and I have the exact same schedule you started with, and it SUCKS for BioMom now that both kids are in school. We've done it this way for like 4 years.

Switch, switch, switch!

You will be so thankful for the weekends with your kids! My kiddos' BioMom gets them ONE weekend a year.

When you figure in 9pm bed times on school nights she sees the kids 18-24 hours a week. DH and I get more like 41-47 hours a week. This is considering that we (dh&i or biomom&stepdad) don't spend quality time with them while at school or while sleeping. Obviously, some days a parent works, so that's less time.

I know that you may worry about it effecting the kids, but children are resilient and they will adjust pretty quickly!

DH and I would NEVER change the parenting plan because we get such a better deal, and the kiddos thrive at our house. (BioMom gives them at least 1 over night at her sister's a week.)

But I put myself in her shoes, and the time she gets with them SUCKS! I would tell DH to consider a change, if she wanted it. But luckily for us, she is happy with things as they are.

If it was my kids, I'd never be okay with that plan.


Anyway, make the change! I can't urge you enough!

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daddysgf
by and that's all on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:19 PM
We originally did 2 weeks/2 weeks because of distance but have been doing the same schedule you do since April and its working well.
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hershey6
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:25 PM
1 mom liked this
We have a 5-2-2-5 plan for SD3 and the nice thing about that is that there is consistancy of the days of the week that we have her. She is always with BM on Monday and Tuesday anf always with us on Wednesday and Thursday and then Friday-Sunday alternate.
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EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:30 PM

 Yeah, it worked best for us at the time, the only child i really missed out on time with was my oldest because she was at school all day while I was home with the other two and then sometimes I would have to go to work right after she got home from school :(  This way I think it will be more even, if not favoring me slightly. You're right, they are resiliant :) I am excited to switch now

Quoting kappalopokis:

My DH and I have the exact same schedule you started with, and it SUCKS for BioMom now that both kids are in school. We've done it this way for like 4 years.

Switch, switch, switch!

You will be so thankful for the weekends with your kids! My kiddos' BioMom gets them ONE weekend a year.

When you figure in 9pm bed times on school nights she sees the kids 18-24 hours a week. DH and I get more like 41-47 hours a week. This is considering that we (dh&i or biomom&stepdad) don't spend quality time with them while at school or while sleeping. Obviously, some days a parent works, so that's less time.

I know that you may worry about it effecting the kids, but children are resilient and they will adjust pretty quickly!

DH and I would NEVER change the parenting plan because we get such a better deal, and the kiddos thrive at our house. (BioMom gives them at least 1 over night at her sister's a week.)

But I put myself in her shoes, and the time she gets with them SUCKS! I would tell DH to consider a change, if she wanted it. But luckily for us, she is happy with things as they are.

If it was my kids, I'd never be okay with that plan.


Anyway, make the change! I can't urge you enough!

 

EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:31 PM

 I'm glad to hear it's working well :)

Quoting daddysgf:

We originally did 2 weeks/2 weeks because of distance but have been doing the same schedule you do since April and its working well.

 

EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:32 PM

 I've never thought of a 5-2-2-5 schedule. Perhaps when the kids are older, rather than a one week on/one week off schedule we may do that!

Quoting hershey6:

We have a 5-2-2-5 plan for SD3 and the nice thing about that is that there is consistancy of the days of the week that we have her. She is always with BM on Monday and Tuesday anf always with us on Wednesday and Thursday and then Friday-Sunday alternate.

 

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:32 PM
Personally that's too much back and forth for me. I'd probably switch every wed or fri or whichever works better and give the other parent a "mid week overnight" so they don't go a whole week without seeing the other parent.
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jessiesluv
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:37 PM
That's too much back and forth for me too. I would say week with you, week with dad, Wednesdays dinner nights or even overnight with parent who doesn't have kids.
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kappalopokis
by Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:37 PM
Yeah, well when they're all in school it will sink in.

I'm so glad for you that you had the chance to change it.


Quoting EricaG87:

 Yeah, it worked best for us at the time, the only child i really missed out on time with was my oldest because she was at school all day while I was home with the other two and then sometimes I would have to go to work right after she got home from school :(  This way I think it will be more even, if not favoring me slightly. You're right, they are resiliant :) I am excited to switch now


Quoting kappalopokis:

My DH and I have the exact same schedule you started with, and it SUCKS for BioMom now that both kids are in school. We've done it this way for like 4 years.

Switch, switch, switch!

You will be so thankful for the weekends with your kids! My kiddos' BioMom gets them ONE weekend a year.

When you figure in 9pm bed times on school nights she sees the kids 18-24 hours a week. DH and I get more like 41-47 hours a week. This is considering that we (dh&i or biomom&stepdad) don't spend quality time with them while at school or while sleeping. Obviously, some days a parent works, so that's less time.

I know that you may worry about it effecting the kids, but children are resilient and they will adjust pretty quickly!

DH and I would NEVER change the parenting plan because we get such a better deal, and the kiddos thrive at our house. (BioMom gives them at least 1 over night at her sister's a week.)

But I put myself in her shoes, and the time she gets with them SUCKS! I would tell DH to consider a change, if she wanted it. But luckily for us, she is happy with things as they are.

If it was my kids, I'd never be okay with that plan.


Anyway, make the change! I can't urge you enough!


 


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hershey6
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:38 PM
It is great for activities- like she had swimming on Wednesdays so we were always the ones to take her to that. All pick up and drop offs are at school and she adjusts very well. I could see why some would think it is too much back and forth- but for us it works amazingly well. Good luck!

Quoting EricaG87:

 I've never thought of a 5-2-2-5 schedule. Perhaps when the kids are older, rather than a one week on/one week off schedule we may do that!


Quoting hershey6:

We have a 5-2-2-5 plan for SD3 and the nice thing about that is that there is consistancy of the days of the week that we have her. She is always with BM on Monday and Tuesday anf always with us on Wednesday and Thursday and then Friday-Sunday alternate.

 

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