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ugh she irritates the hell out of me! edit because i should have said it in the original post

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:24 PM
  • 122 Replies
So bm had it put in the divorce decree that the kids get to take their stuff wherever they want to. The problem with this is that she has stopped buying toys for them at all and tells them if they want stuff to play with they need to get it from us. S/O and I are not married so she can hold him to that court order but she cannot make me abide by it. S/O isn't working so I bought everything they got for xmas. She is now pissed because I said it needs to stay at our house because we never get stuff back. My daughter doesn't take stuff back and forth for the same reason. I don't know any kids of divorced families who do that in fact. Its so stupid.

Edit
Okay because not everyone reads replies. I'm not doing it to be shitty or immature. She has been known to take things we send there back to the store for money. School clothes, shoes, school supplies, toys, she has done it with all those things at one point or another. Also the boys have told us that they only get to play THEIR video games when her husband is not playing them. I am doing this to ensure they get their presents at all. Also you noticed I said I'm the only one working. We pay her child support. I buy toys and clothes for our house but I can't afford to buy for both houses. She has been telling the boys for months that if they want things to play with at HER house they need to get it from US because she is poor. Not something she should say to her kids and we are no better off than she is. So for those of you saying I'm in the wrong tell me you would supply for two households knowing the stuff might go back to the store for her benefit.... yeah don't think you would
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by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
teresa1267
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:37 PM
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YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS~~!~!! If she is that cheap then thats her fault. I wont let my step daughter take anything from here to her BM's house. I know it will either 1 get tore up and or 2 never be returned. It is a sad situation.

evilangel198431
by Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:40 PM
2 moms liked this
Yeah she has also been known to take things back to the store for money. Both of their ds's have been broken at her house. Its not my job to provide for her house especially when he pays child support


Quoting teresa1267:

YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS~~!~!! If she is that cheap then thats her fault. I wont let my step daughter take anything from here to her BM's house. I know it will either 1 get tore up and or 2 never be returned. It is a sad situation.


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kristinbugg
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:41 PM
1 mom liked this
The gifts you GAVE them for Christmas are just that: THEIRS. When you GIVE someone something, you don't get to dictate where they do or don't take it?

How is the CO worded? If it says that the children must be able to take their belongings back and forth, then that is what needs to happen. By allowing YOU to withhold his children's belongings, DH is breaking the CO, I would think.
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DDDaysh
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:42 PM
1 mom liked this
So, did you give it to the kids or not? If it is their property, she can hold him to it.
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cyndiemac
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:44 PM

I assume we aren't talking about teens. teens seem to attach and it is a battle to keep things in our home because we are the custodial parents of all kids. Younger children were never allowed to take things and that's crazy the court order allows it. A reasonable choice would be that the kids get ONE specific (cheap) toy that could go back and forth. If that toy OR a replacement toy isn't brought back then no toys the next time. The way your so's court order reads seems like you are donating everything you work for to support her home. She sounds like my dh's ex. My dh's ex has NEVER bought anything but food (paid by food stamps) and dollar store stuff for my skids. They would get a big box of chips, candy, soda and popcorn EVERY Christmas since they were little. She still does this. My OSS is 23 and he showed my the gift he received this year , a big thing of nesquik and a 2liter of sprite. While this woman spends a minimum of $200 a month on her nails, toes and hair. 

Good luck and court orders can be tweaked over time. I assume your court order doesn't state ALL toys, so bend the rules to fit the situation. I've been to court a couple dozen times and your issue isn't uncommon. 

evilangel198431
by Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:45 PM
I'm not married to him she can't make me follow that stupid order. She is in the wrong she needs to get them stuff herself. Its not my job to supply her house with toys.


Quoting DDDaysh:

So, did you give it to the kids or not? If it is their property, she can hold him to it.

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kristinbugg
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:48 PM
3 moms liked this
If you GAVE them the things, the things became their property. If DH allows you to withhold the children's property, he IS violating the CO.


Quoting evilangel198431:

I'm not married to him she can't make me follow that stupid order. She is in the wrong she needs to get them stuff herself. Its not my job to supply her house with toys.




Quoting DDDaysh:

So, did you give it to the kids or not? If it is their property, she can hold him to it.


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evilangel198431
by Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:50 PM
It does state everything that belongs to them that he provides can go back and forth but as I said she has taken some of it back to the store for money. I'm the only one working and feel like I have to provide toys for two house holds


Quoting cyndiemac:

I assume we aren't talking about teens. teens seem to attach and it is a battle to keep things in our home because we are the custodial parents of all kids. Younger children were never allowed to take things and that's crazy the court order allows it. A reasonable choice would be that the kids get ONE specific (cheap) toy that could go back and forth. If that toy OR a replacement toy isn't brought back then no toys the next time. The way your so's court order reads seems like you are donating everything you work for to support her home. She sounds like my dh's ex. My dh's ex has NEVER bought anything but food (paid by food stamps) and dollar store stuff for my skids. They would get a big box of chips, candy, soda and popcorn EVERY Christmas since they were little. She still does this. My OSS is 23 and he showed my the gift he received this year , a big thing of nesquik and a 2liter of sprite. While this woman spends a minimum of $200 a month on her nails, toes and hair. 

Good luck and court orders can be tweaked over time. I assume your court order doesn't state ALL toys, so bend the rules to fit the situation. I've been to court a couple dozen times and your issue isn't uncommon. 


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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:51 PM
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Indian giver much? They are no longer your toys when you gave them to the children as gifts. They now belong to the children.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:54 PM
So the kids broke their ds's and it is mom's fault how?


Quoting evilangel198431:

Yeah she has also been known to take things back to the store for money. Both of their ds's have been broken at her house. Its not my job to provide for her house especially when he pays child support




Quoting teresa1267:

YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS~~!~!! If she is that cheap then thats her fault. I wont let my step daughter take anything from here to her BM's house. I know it will either 1 get tore up and or 2 never be returned. It is a sad situation.



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