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What's your take on BM's house rules vs DH house rules?

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:29 AM
  • 66 Replies
1 mom liked this

Just wondering...


Me I feel like in order to provide the kids with a more stable environment that they should be on the same page.

by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jeniemarie
by Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:33 AM
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BMs house is basically rule free which makes it harder when SS comes back from visiting because we have rules
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KeenaStarr
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:35 AM
Bms morals, values and rules are the complete opposite of ours lol
It doesn't bother us because the kids know the difference.
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innerpeace190
by Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:57 AM
3 moms liked this

Structure, structure, structure. If you have different rules to BM house, make it clear that different houses/homes, different rules.

BM has a maid (I've said this a few times already) so the kids are used to being waited on hand and foot. So they had a shock adjusting to our place. But a few weeks ago (after a year of moving into our place - they are with us EOWE), I came home to find their beds made without me having to ask! 

jojojack
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 4:04 AM

 there are no rules there. i have rules for my dd.. skids however do what ever the hell they want here.. dh does not enforce any rules he feels becaues he only has eowe and once a week dinner he doesnt want to spend his time on discipline.. simple things like "hello" Goodbye" thank you... pick your dirty or clean clothes up off the floor and god forbid... make your bed...  also disrespect  to me..yeah thats all ok with him.  when i stick up for myself and am the only one with a backbone to not take sd's crap..she can call her mom to leave.. thats fine with me..

DDDaysh
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:16 AM
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 lol...  most houses can't even keep completely consisten rules between when Dad is home alone with the kids and when Mom is home alone with the kids even when they are married.  Usually one or the other will think it's ok to bend at least one of the rules the kids have, or will not let the kids do something they're normally allowed to do because the parent doesn't want to deal with it by themselves. 

So, I think it's impossibly to have completely consisten rules between houses.  It'd be great if parents could be inline with at least the major things, but different value systems often play a big part in why exes are exes, so sometimes it's way too much to expect. 

angel_peanut
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:18 AM

It would be nice if we could go by same rules but that will never happen!!! we have rules....she lets the kids rule for the most part. I have a hard time when SS comes home from his EOW visits because he got to do whatever he wanted the past 3 days and tries to get away with it when he gets home.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:27 AM

What  is a house rule? Like, take your shoes off when you come in? Don't leave the lights on?

what kind of rules are you talking about that have to do with the house?

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:34 AM
2 moms liked this

You're speaking in idealistic terms.  Yes, it would be great if CP and NCP shared rules and structure.  In reality, that's probably rare (if it exists at all). 

MomGoingCrazy78
by Lindy Lou on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:49 AM

Bm has different rules than we do. She has rules about things that in our house would be considered "petty." That's the way she wants to have her rules, so it's her house, her rules. We have more general rules. SD knows the difference about which house she is in.

With my ex, he doesn't really have rules at his house for DD and DS.

deviljrswifey
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:52 AM

Oh my god...BM doesnt have any rules for SS. He comes here and is a monster, a 6 yr old monster. He always fights, talks back, and is such a messy child. Here he has rules. Has to clean up after himself, he fights he gets something taken away or time out.

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