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Not a step-mom yet

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:45 PM
  • 19 Replies
1 mom liked this

Hi all:

I'm not a step-mom yet but I'm dating a man with a 6 year old daughter. We are starting to talk about spending our lives together so I wanted to have a place to look for advise, see what others are talking about and get an idea of the trials, tribulations and triumphs of being a step-mom. I don't have any children of my own and never will (I'm 42 and don't see me being a mother at this age and at this point in my life).

Looking forward to getting to know the ladies here!

 

 

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
punkin83
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:57 PM

welcome! I'm also a SM with no bio children. It;s been a great experience for me. Looking forward to learning more about you and your potential family(:

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:33 PM

welcome!

kappalopokis
by Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:34 PM
Be wary of posting in this thread. There are some stepmom haters here!

But as a stepmom I'm happy to answer any questions you have!
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lnr187
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:40 PM

 LOL this group is going to make you want to go running for the hills! being a sm can be a wonderful thing (i absolutely love my ss and my life) but this place is chock full-o-drama!

keri5374
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:25 PM

I've definitely heard some horror stories. My goal is to try to garner information from those of you who've been there to hopefully help me avoid some pitfalls I may not see going in. I tried another site and got a little beat up after an initial post because a lot of people jumped to conclusions without asking for clarification. 


I'm moving in with my SO and SD6 ( he has her 1/2 the time ) at the end of the summer. Going to start off with one sleepover night and then another.. Then a weekend, etc. you get the idea. We are spending a lot of time together as a threesome and I am enjoying her very much. It's going to be a challenge when she's starts viewing me as a threat for daddy's attention instead of the buddy she sees me as now. 


Any advice?

packermomof2
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:10 PM

Let dad handle the kid, don't get involved in the discipline right away, and respect that the kid has two parents who can continue to raise their child.

(This doesn't mean I'm a SM hater, my kids have a SF and had a SM.  SF has been around for years when the kids were a little over one and three, the SM when they were four and six.  He took his time, didn't force himself on the kids, let me handle them, the discipline, the rules, and he only helped if it was needed (as in I asked) not because he thought it was what was needed to be done.  SM shot first, shot some more, asked questions later and ended up causing some major problems with trying to take over and didn't ease into it and earn the trust and a deeper respect than your every day, average Joe Schmo got).

GlockMom
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:33 PM
No there isn't.

In reality there are some of us (who are SM) who think it is more beneficial to be honest in our posting. Telling people they are right in their actions when they are oooohhhhhh so wrong is apparently what SOME ladies consider supportive advice.


Quoting kappalopokis:

Be wary of posting in this thread. There are some stepmom haters here!



But as a stepmom I'm happy to answer any questions you have!

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Charli627
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:04 PM
1 mom liked this
Welcome to the group
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NobleStepMom
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:29 PM

If the ex is a selfish psycho of a woman - RUN!!!  I could go into all the many issues we have had over the years (I too have been in SD's life since she was 6 - now almost 15) but these days I just want to cry and run away :(

NobleStepMom
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:35 PM

I should add to my last post - there are some very rewarding times indeed, and then times where you just wish you hadn't gotten involved with a man who has a child with another woman.  I love my SD but we have had some very difficult times as a family and these days are definitely some of those times.

Good luck and I hope the woman on the other end truly has your SO's child in her best interest because if that is not the case, then you can be certain for difficult times ahead.  Enjoy the innocence while it lasts. 

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