I have a 2 friends who I met when they were together. They got pregnant, and then married. Always kind of a rocky relationship but I like them both just fine. They divorced/separated about a year ago. (they've been dating on and off for about 8 years). Their son is 3. The girl started dating a new guy. I went to their house to meet him and hang out with her and I brought my son. I felt uncomfortable and had to CONSTANTLY be holding his hand or running after him...I didn't even go to the bathroom. When i got there I was pretty shocked with the conditions. The guy she's dating apparantly 'inherited' a house from a co worker (thats all i know) and it needs some serious work. While that is fine, I don't think her child should be there when he visits from the dads house. (The girl has visitation currently). She flipped out when her ex brough up the conditions and told me things like "Can you believe that, don't you think he's crazy?" I didn't really know what to say. They had a cat box with no lid just in the middle of the living room, no carpet on the stairs and nails poking out of them. No cabinets on any of the kitchen cabinets ... pretty much... unfinished. The dad lives with his parents. I've been there, too. Its a nice house, even if he is living with his parents, its...finished.
So. Today he told me he's having a hard time because his son is acting really weird when he comes back from his moms. I told him that there is a lot of room there, but when he explained it to me and told me that his doctor was telling him that it didn't seem normal to him I thought maybe i would ask some of you ladies who may have been through this. This is a direct quote of what he told me. Any opinions would be really helpful. His son is a total sweetheart so i'm a little put off, too.
"when (my son) gets home from his moms house he has been acting out/weird. I took him to the doctor yesterday, and brought it up...and the doctor said that it is not normal. I mean its normal that he acts out because of the seperation, but the way he is acting out isnt normal...and she says she is worried about what goes on at her house"
"screaming at me, hitting me, throwing terrible tantums with absolutely no reason, doesnt want his pull up changed, wont eat, has nightmares,is digressing in potty training "
"It takes me until the day before he goes back to get him back to normal, then the whole process starts again"
Any thoughts or helpful suggestions to help ease the behavior?