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question about changing last name

Posted by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:13 PM
  • 48 Replies
I have heard the argument from many women that they keep their xh's last name so it is the same as their kids. This completely makes sense to me. What confuses me is that many of the same women say they would change it if they got remarried. That seems to be in direct conflict with the argument that they want the same last name as their kids. Does it no longer matter if you marry someone else? Even if they were to have a child with their new husband, if they hyphenated (xh's plus current husband's), they could have a last name that matched all their kids. This question is not for those who have said they are too lazy to change it- it's purely for those who have said it is for the kids sake.
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by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:28 PM

I haven't been divorced to be in this exact situation, but I wasn't with my ex when ODD was born and he didn't sign the BC so I gave her my maiden name. For a while it didn't make a difference because the kids thought it was cool that the girls in the house had one name and the boys had another (SS also never really noticed anything odd because his siblings from BM have a different last name). I did change my name when I got married to DH in 2011 and we are in the process of having DH adopt ODD so hopefully soon she will have the same last name as the rest of us.

If DH and I did divorce I would most likely keep his last name. I hated my maiden name (it held no family significance as I have had very little to do with my BFs family). It would also make things easier regarding the kids as far as school, medical and ecs go. It definitely wouldn't be for 'their' sake, but for my convenience. I have also said that if DH and I divorced before my kids were 18 then I wouldn't marry again till they were, so by that point I don't think it would really matter.

KLBrown
by Bronze Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 1:39 PM

I kept XH's name so I'd have the same name as the kids.

I don't plan to re-marry until they're grown, at which time I will take my new husband's name.

pepper504
by Gold Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 2:07 PM

DH's exwife claimed that is why she kept DH's last name after the divorce was final.  She remarried and took her current DH's last name.  She now has two kids with two different last names.  Like you, I do not get it.  I, honestly, do not care, but it bothered DH more than anything that she would not go back to her maiden name.  lol


321momof3
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 2:12 PM

I got remarried when my kids were 8boy and 6girl. They are now 19boy and 17girl but my kids didnt understand when i got married my last name would be different. My youngest hated it so when i remarried i hyphenated my last name so i have her last name and my current husbands last name.

321momof3
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 2:16 PM

When ex husband write me a check he doesnt hyphenate it he just put married last name lol. He never said anything to me about it either. It was for my kids 100% once i had them my life was all about them and what made them happy not anyone else, dont like it too bad

chasinrainbows
by Gold Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 2:16 PM

 I wish I hadn't kept my ex's last name and I look forward to changing it in 4 months.

packermomof2
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:38 PM

It isn't about being lazy or the kids for me.  It is my last name once I "took" it when he "gave" it to me.  

E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:48 PM
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It doesn't bother me that BM has my DH last name still.

I just always assumed she wanted to have the same last name as her children. Now that I know her, I have no idea why she keeps it. 

needsupport100
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:50 PM

i kept my 1st hubands to match my dd's and didn't change it until i remarried-now that i'm twice divorced i have my maiden name-i'm engaged, but will probably never change my name again-even after a remarriage

i also didn't change it because i knew i'd remarry and didn't want to go through the hassel of the ss card, and bills

Pero1
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:59 PM
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Why should they do it twice? I kept my last name after my first marriage ... we didn't have any kids, but I kept it. It costs a lot of money to get a new passport/driving licence etc. My work email would have had to be changed, my rental contract, everything ... so I kept it.

Only when I had DD (I was never married to BF) I changed back to my maiden name ...

When we separated, I went to court to get a name change for DD. DD is now known as DD "BF's Surname - Hyphen - My Surname". When I marry DF, I will be ME "DF's Surname - Hyphen - My Surname", so we will continue to have one component of our names in common,

I really don't get the fuss about surnames. My ex-husband's (not BF's) surname was Campbell. You know how many Campbells are out there? And Smiths, and Millers? Are you going to ban all females with your DH's surname from using it, just so nobody could assume they are connected to your DH?

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