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Difficult adult step-daughters......what to do with them?

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:43 PM
  • 20 Replies

Is anyone else having to deal with an adult step-daughter......she acts like she is my husbands wife and I've taken him away from her.

 

by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:48 PM
Does she live with you? If not limit time around her. See if that helps. Idk what you mean she acts like he is married to her you'd need to be more specific.
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angirose
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:53 PM

over bearing daughters can be difficult....but yes need more information.....

Charli627
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:00 PM
Yeah more details please
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MileyMat
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:14 PM

She is 23 years old, in college and lives away for the most part.  As long as we were dating, she was fine, but the minute we told her we were getting married, she has been awful.  She told me that she had always come first in his life and since I came along she didn't anymore and she WAS NOT going to have it.  He has told her that he will not tolerate her disrespect of me any longer but she manipulates the situation.  I hate to see him torn so I am trying to be sensitive to his feelings but I've had it.  She makes the time that we are around each other miserable for him.  I am not concerned about myself, her actions do not hurt me, but they hurt him and that's what I am fed up with......just don't know how to proceed.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:17 PM
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Don't spend time with them together. Let them spend time alone.
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MileyMat
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:18 PM

My 50th birthday was yesterday and my husband planned a nice dinner out with some lifelong friends.  While talking to her on the telephone earlier this week he mentioned it to her and told her she was welcome to come, never thinking she would take him up on it, but she did.  She didn't speak to me the entire night except when she got up to leave, she walked by me and said, "happy birthday" and shocked, I said thank you and she walked off.  My husband is an attorney and has a very stressful job, he doesn't need this stress.  I see it affecting his health also.  I could put my foot down but I don't want to add to his stress.

knoxmomof2
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 4:13 AM

I don't have an adult SK, but do have others in my life who do. My conclusion is to have no expectations for them. Then if they come to dinner and say nothing, you are not disappointed. Also, don't go out of your way for her- unless you just really enjoy doing what it is you did.

As far as DH, that's basically going to have to work itself out. The only thing you can do is handle yourself in a mature, civil manner when you have to see her.

Good luck!

Quoting MileyMat:

My 50th birthday was yesterday and my husband planned a nice dinner out with some lifelong friends.  While talking to her on the telephone earlier this week he mentioned it to her and told her she was welcome to come, never thinking she would take him up on it, but she did.  She didn't speak to me the entire night except when she got up to leave, she walked by me and said, "happy birthday" and shocked, I said thank you and she walked off.  My husband is an attorney and has a very stressful job, he doesn't need this stress.  I see it affecting his health also.  I could put my foot down but I don't want to add to his stress.


Lunatic6997
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 5:03 AM


Quoting MileyMat:

My 50th birthday was yesterday and my husband planned a nice dinner out with some lifelong friends.  While talking to her on the telephone earlier this week he mentioned it to her and told her she was welcome to come, never thinking she would take him up on it, but she did.  She didn't speak to me the entire night except when she got up to leave, she walked by me and said, "happy birthday" and shocked, I said thank you and she walked off.  My husband is an attorney and has a very stressful job, he doesn't need this stress.  I see it affecting his health also.  I could put my foot down but I don't want to add to his stress.

When you figure it out, let me know. I have an adult ss who does the same things, the only difference my ss wouldn't wish me a happy birthday! 


Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 9:16 AM
2 moms liked this

SD needs to realize Dad's married and his wife comes first-she's an adult-time for her to act like it.

afc1975
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 9:46 AM
1 mom liked this

I deal with the same thing but only with my 12yr old SD...

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