So, my DH and I have been thinking about him getting a vasectomy reversal so that we can have a child together, but it's all still in the planning process right now. A week or so ago my DH mentioned this possibility to my SD11 since she had brought the subject up. At first SD was pretty upset, she insisted we should not have a kid because she doesn't want any other siblings and we are pretty sure she was afraid that she would be pushed aside to make room for the new baby. Anyway, DH and her had a long talk about it the other day and yesterday SD did a 180 and told us she now wanted us to have a kid together. Anyway, over the weekend while SD was still upset about it she texted my SD13, who is living with BM, saying "Dad and SM are having a baby!". Well, SD13 took that as I was actually pregnant and that we hadn't told her and she flipped out and thought we we're trying to replace her. So BM called us that night so we could talk to SD13 and we we're able to calm her down and by the end of the conversation she was all for us having a baby. Anyway, when DH was talking to BM, she mentioned that she was worried that if we have a kid that we won't be able to provide as well for their kids (my skids). The crazy thing about that is that, *I* (SM) have been financially supporting her kids for years now while BM has contributed little to nothing. Also, Bm doesn't know much about our finances and truth is, we are doing fine. BM also mentioned that she didn't want the kids to feel rejected and that I should put her kids first because I "married a man with 3 kids". When Dh told me all this I kinda laughed it off but I just can't believe she would say stuff like that, it's not really her business. I know she has no say in this really, but is she right in saying that it would be selfish for me to have my own child?