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BM in or out of a relationship? What does that do to your DH?

Posted by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:18 AM
  • 14 Replies

The poll on if BM is single, re-married, or with a SO got me to thinking.  In our situation, whenever BM is in a relationship, she doesn't "hassle" DH nearly as much.  Sometimes she'll go weeks without calling or texting him.

If she's not in a relationship, she calls or texts DH nonstop.  The first few times this happened we thought it was odd, but then began noticing the pattern. DH really prefers dealing with BM when she's in a relationship because then there's more peace and less chaos.  When she's not in a relationship, there is a ton more drama and chaos.

Anyone else notice this?

 

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kela22
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:24 AM
Yes definitely. BM needs attention.
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sassy711
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:29 AM

Yeah that makes sense.  BM was very high maintenance when she and DH were married, so I guess she's still that way....a high maintenance ex wife.  Go figure

Mommy0505
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:59 AM
When BM was in the "honeymoon" stage of her relationship with her now DH it was very peaceful! Positive and productive, too!

But, like the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Lol
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Charli627
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:07 AM
It was opposite for us. Bm got married and then the non stop calls and texts. Dh had to block her texts cause things were getting ridiculous. But yet bm tells people its dh that needs to "move on with his life"
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Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:07 AM

I've never known BM to be single so i can't much about her behaviors

but when she was with Douche Bag (the guy she left dh for) she was a miserable bitch and now she's with Big Man (SF) she's a totally different person (so much easier to get along with)

SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:12 AM
I've only known BM to be single for a month or so a few years back. As in her DH was in rehab or prison and she wasn't seeing anyone else. Nothing changed for us, but she was made to send her kids off with family for a while cause she couldn't handle them.

When we first got together, BM called SS a lot, both at work and his cell. His manager told BM off because of her disruption and DH got rid of his cell so that all stopped (got a house phone).
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LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:30 AM

Questions like this make me kinda giggle on the inside.  I'm a BM (former SM) - I don't bug my ex about anything.  Granted there are reasons why; but if those circumstances weren't present I honestly don't think I would bug him anyway.  And I am single, sort of, kinda - I'm in relationship limbo.  

When I was a SM - well - both ex and his oldest's child thrive on drama - so they fed each other.  It was a sick dynamic that I smartly absented myself from after a little while.  Ex cared if BM was in a relationship and was up her ass; I would ask him "Why do you give a shit?"  And no it wasn't due to his child; it was some messed up thing with BM.  He is this way with me now - telling the kids how much he love "everyone EVERYONE at Mommy's house" if the kids mention a male friend.  Sick - sick - sickity - sick.  And if he finds out for sure I am attached - well he goes NUTS! 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:42 AM

BM is rarely without some type of male companion. But, regardless she's very uninvolved with SD. I doubt she could tell you the name of SD's teacher or any of her medical providers without having to look it up first.

There's less drama now that DH has custody because DH doesn't have to go through BM or over her head (which ENRAGED her) to get information about SD.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 12:03 PM
Yes. When she's single she's always calling and also tries to leave the kids ALL the time. Now she has a new bf and the first month, se was actually worse (left kids all weekend every weekend, calling all the time telling all her business) but now that she is feeling more confident I her relationship she's leaving us alone.
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Lorena
by Bronze Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 12:08 PM
Bm has not been in a relationship that we know of since dh.
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