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S/O calling SM mom. Just curious... ETA scenario

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:25 AM
  • 34 Replies
How would people in this group react if someone posted "my SK wants to call me mom like his/her siblings and I said no."


This is not my situation. Just curious the thoughts on this.

Ok, so I'll throw out a hypothetical scenario. SM and BF get married when SKs are 7 & 5. Shared custody. 51% at dads. SM has great relationship with both kids. BM is an adequate, involved parent. SM and BF have 2 kids.

OSK says to SM, "when I'm here, you take care of me. You are the mom in this house. My sisters call you mom and I want to call you mom when I'm with you."

SM says, "no, I'm your stepmom, not your mom. I love you but your mom is mom."

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by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:26 AM

I wouldnt have an opinion without knowing the rest of the story.

SamsMomSays
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:27 AM
I can respect that answer. :)


Quoting whatIknownow:

I wouldnt have an opinion without knowing the rest of the story.


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baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:32 AM

 But could you answer it? LOL

SamsMomSays
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:38 AM
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baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:41 AM

 Does BM care?

SamsMomSays
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:45 AM
Hmmm... Interesting. Um, let's say yes. Or no. Does the answer differ?
Your question sparks a question from me. Shouldn't it be about the child and not the adults?
Not looking to be argumentative, just looking to get opinions. :)


Quoting baparrot2:

 Does BM care?


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whatIknownow
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:49 AM

Adults make decisions for children. Just because a child wants something, doesnt mean it's in the child's best interest.

if BM is alive, and involved (even as NCP), and if she objects to her child calling SM "mom", it would be in the child's best interest for the SM to say 'no."

Quoting SamsMomSays:

Hmmm... Interesting. Um, let's say yes. Or no. Does the answer differ?
Your question sparks a question from me. Shouldn't it be about the child and not the adults?
Not looking to be argumentative, just looking to get opinions. :)
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:51 AM

 It's only my opinion, and with that said, I will say that if mom doesnt like it, dont do it.

My kid wanted to call her 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Pickering...Mrs. pickernose. I wouldnt allow that. She doesnt just get to randomly assign people names. Mom is my name. SM's name is her name.

Even if mom doesnt care, I still err on the side of addressing people by their proper titles and keeping things uncomplicated.

I had a SM my whole life. I had a BM who was not really in the picture. My SM is called by her name and my mother was called my mom.

Quoting SamsMomSays:

Hmmm... Interesting. Um, let's say yes. Or no. Does the answer differ?
Your question sparks a question from me. Shouldn't it be about the child and not the adults?
Not looking to be argumentative, just looking to get opinions. :)


Quoting baparrot2:

 Does BM care?


 

SamsMomSays
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:52 AM
How would you explain it to the child? To play devil's advocate, why is it only in the child's best interest if the mom feels that way?
I'm not saying I think it's right or wrong for the child to call SM mom, but I dot necessarily think it should be about either woman's preference.


Quoting whatIknownow:

Adults make decisions for children. Just because a child wants something, doesnt mean it's in the child's best interest.

if BM is alive, and involved (even as NCP), and if she objects to her child calling SM "mom", it would be in the child's best interest for the SM to say 'no."


Quoting SamsMomSays:

Hmmm... Interesting. Um, let's say yes. Or no. Does the answer differ?

Your question sparks a question from me. Shouldn't it be about the child and not the adults?

Not looking to be argumentative, just looking to get opinions. :)

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SamsMomSays
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:54 AM
I like this logic. Not positive I agree, but definitely makes sense. Are you a stepmom?


Quoting baparrot2:

 It's only my opinion, and with that said, I will say that if mom doesnt like it, dont do it.


My kid wanted to call her 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Pickering...Mrs. pickernose. I wouldnt allow that. She doesnt just get to randomly assign people names. Mom is my name. SM's name is her name.


Even if mom doesnt care, I still err on the side of addressing people by their proper titles and keeping things uncomplicated.


I had a SM my whole life. I had a BM who was not really in the picture. My SM is called by her name and my mother was called my mom.


Quoting SamsMomSays:

Hmmm... Interesting. Um, let's say yes. Or no. Does the answer differ?
Your question sparks a question from me. Shouldn't it be about the child and not the adults?
Not looking to be argumentative, just looking to get opinions. :)



Quoting baparrot2:


 Does BM care?



 


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