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walk a mile in my shoes before you judge ;)

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I have only been on here for a very short amount of time but i've seen alot of judgement comming from lots n lots of moms. Its sad really. we've all come here (i'm assuming) for the same type of things, support, encouragement, and just to get stories from others going thru similar situations and get opinions on how to handle things. and even tho there are lots of wonderful moms that give great support and encouragement there are also lots that just JUDGE on stuff they don't know. afterall none of us are in the EXACT SAME situation,,, EVERYONE on the face of this earth has different personalities which is what makes us individuals. why be rude and cruel and insulting? Do we want someone to act that way with us? NO. Seriously if we see a post that irritates us why not just pass by it and find one we can give encouragement on instead of just causing anger, irritation, and upset??? We're all trying to do the right thing and the best thing in the situation we're in... None of us are trying to bring chaos or heartache to our situation, we want it to be better! Thats why we're here! If we didn't care about our situations we would not be here we'd just ditch it and move on. PLEASE Ladies, show each other empathy and RESPECT just like we'd want to be shown to us.
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:09 PM
Replies (21-30):
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 11:57 AM
It was another CM board for parents not step related. But the truth hurts and I wish I could delete my post because I got it, I got it but people keeping responding and I'm like OKaaayyyyy I got it. I suck! I admit it!!


Quoting ricepuddin:



Quoting momof2ex1:

It is not just here. I was judged and given some pretty harsh 'advice' that made my head spin and even made me question the last 12 years of my life from another board. And you know what I said to myself? This is what I came here for. To get my ass in gear. I was wrong. I need to fix that. I asked for advice. They only know what I'm willing to share. I think if posters would put it all out there in the beginning, they would not find themselves trying to explain and defend on and on in to page 17. The hardest thing to hear is what we don't want to hear. And usually the truth lies in the replies that make me think. The ones that hurt to read.... That is usually where my Answer is.

If you are referring to StepTalk, that should be renamed WhiteTrashTalk.  This place is a lot more normal, from what I see.  I love that you can quote and start a thread on a reply, too.  Hang in there, the world is what you make of it, so be yourself :) 


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ricepuddin
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 12:06 PM


Quoting momof2ex1:

It was another CM board for parents not step related. But the truth hurts and I wish I could delete my post because I got it, I got it but people keeping responding and I'm like OKaaayyyyy I got it. I suck! I admit it!!


Quoting ricepuddin:



Quoting momof2ex1:

It is not just here. I was judged and given some pretty harsh 'advice' that made my head spin and even made me question the last 12 years of my life from another board. And you know what I said to myself? This is what I came here for. To get my ass in gear. I was wrong. I need to fix that. I asked for advice. They only know what I'm willing to share. I think if posters would put it all out there in the beginning, they would not find themselves trying to explain and defend on and on in to page 17. The hardest thing to hear is what we don't want to hear. And usually the truth lies in the replies that make me think. The ones that hurt to read.... That is usually where my Answer is.

If you are referring to StepTalk, that should be renamed WhiteTrashTalk.  This place is a lot more normal, from what I see.  I love that you can quote and start a thread on a reply, too.  Hang in there, the world is what you make of it, so be yourself :) 


Well, I am glad you realized the error of your own ways haha Just kidding. Some people are just rude to be rude bc their lives are miserable.  I am sure you are fine.  Tell me your problem and I'll be supportive :)

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 12:10 PM
Lol thanks!! It was about an English project that I felt my child was too young for the content. I was told I was doing my child a disservice by not teaching her about our Civil rights at home and that I should have taught her about rape and slavery at age 6......


Quoting ricepuddin:



Quoting momof2ex1:

It was another CM board for parents not step related. But the truth hurts and I wish I could delete my post because I got it, I got it but people keeping responding and I'm like OKaaayyyyy I got it. I suck! I admit it!!





Quoting ricepuddin:




Quoting momof2ex1:

It is not just here. I was judged and given some pretty harsh 'advice' that made my head spin and even made me question the last 12 years of my life from another board. And you know what I said to myself? This is what I came here for. To get my ass in gear. I was wrong. I need to fix that. I asked for advice. They only know what I'm willing to share. I think if posters would put it all out there in the beginning, they would not find themselves trying to explain and defend on and on in to page 17. The hardest thing to hear is what we don't want to hear. And usually the truth lies in the replies that make me think. The ones that hurt to read.... That is usually where my Answer is.

If you are referring to StepTalk, that should be renamed WhiteTrashTalk.  This place is a lot more normal, from what I see.  I love that you can quote and start a thread on a reply, too.  Hang in there, the world is what you make of it, so be yourself :) 



Well, I am glad you realized the error of your own ways haha Just kidding. Some people are just rude to be rude bc their lives are miserable.  I am sure you are fine.  Tell me your problem and I'll be supportive :)


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ricepuddin
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 12:13 PM


Quoting momof2ex1:

Lol thanks!! It was about an English project that I felt my child was too young for the content. I was told I was doing my child a disservice by not teaching her about our Civil rights at home and that I should have taught her about rape and slavery at age 6......


Quoting ricepuddin:



Quoting momof2ex1:

It was another CM board for parents not step related. But the truth hurts and I wish I could delete my post because I got it, I got it but people keeping responding and I'm like OKaaayyyyy I got it. I suck! I admit it!!





Quoting ricepuddin:




Quoting momof2ex1:

It is not just here. I was judged and given some pretty harsh 'advice' that made my head spin and even made me question the last 12 years of my life from another board. And you know what I said to myself? This is what I came here for. To get my ass in gear. I was wrong. I need to fix that. I asked for advice. They only know what I'm willing to share. I think if posters would put it all out there in the beginning, they would not find themselves trying to explain and defend on and on in to page 17. The hardest thing to hear is what we don't want to hear. And usually the truth lies in the replies that make me think. The ones that hurt to read.... That is usually where my Answer is.

If you are referring to StepTalk, that should be renamed WhiteTrashTalk.  This place is a lot more normal, from what I see.  I love that you can quote and start a thread on a reply, too.  Hang in there, the world is what you make of it, so be yourself :) 



Well, I am glad you realized the error of your own ways haha Just kidding. Some people are just rude to be rude bc their lives are miserable.  I am sure you are fine.  Tell me your problem and I'll be supportive :)


5??? You mean by 6 months! haha Eh, whatever, you are the parent, not people on the chat boards, so why bother asking them advice? Ask me, I know it all ;) haha

sid1083
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Just like Pepper's post on not taking it personally, apply the same mentality here. Sure, you may post about your situation, but don't take everyone's advice/criticism/whatever personally . . . because we all should have more self-esteem than to worry about being judged by complete strangers.

DDDaysh
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 12:50 PM
Well, I don't like name calling, and usually try to avoid it, but asking someone questions to get to the root of the problem or telling them they are behaving badly IS giving support.

Just patting them on the hand and saying, "there, there" (or "that BITCH!") like Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory does absolutely nothing to help their situation.
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LadyD78
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:10 AM
2 moms liked this
Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth!!! I am new here and am totally heartbroken every time I see someone post something where they clearly just need some words of encouragement and people bash away at them. The first post I read this morning the OP simply asked for 'Words of Encouragement' and not 5 posts down was someone telling how disrespectful she was for doing what she was doing which was the RIGHT THING!!! 90% of the ladies on here I have noticed post uplifting comments and good advice but then there are the same few that always seem to chime in to say how awful a person is for doing the only thing they may know to do at that time. My situation is way different that anyone else's and not truly for the best. At least not the best for me and I honestly thought about posting something to try to just vent because I have no one in real life to talk to about how I feel and the hole this is burying me in but after reading the 'bashing' that these ladies do on here for someone who is crying out for help is AWFUL! There is no way in the world I would now post anything about my situation and ask for help on here for the simple fact that it would hurt me more to be bashed for not knowing what else to do. That SUCKS!!! Why can't we all just be nice and not HATEFUL!!! When someone asks for words of encouragement, give them just that, not tell them how disrespectful they are beirng by doing the right thing as a wife and standing by her husband and his children. It doesn't make sence to me. It hurts me to see people be so cruel and mean to someone who is pouring their hearts out and honestly just wanting help and encouragement.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
om1970
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:58 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting LadyD78:

Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth!!! I am new here and am totally heartbroken every time I see someone post something where they clearly just need some words of encouragement and people bash away at them. The first post I read this morning the OP simply asked for 'Words of Encouragement' and not 5 posts down was someone telling how disrespectful she was for doing what she was doing which was the RIGHT THING!!! 90% of the ladies on here I have noticed post uplifting comments and good advice but then there are the same few that always seem to chime in to say how awful a person is for doing the only thing they may know to do at that time. My situation is way different that anyone else's and not truly for the best. At least not the best for me and I honestly thought about posting something to try to just vent because I have no one in real life to talk to about how I feel and the hole this is burying me in but after reading the 'bashing' that these ladies do on here for someone who is crying out for help is AWFUL! There is no way in the world I would now post anything about my situation and ask for help on here for the simple fact that it would hurt me more to be bashed for not knowing what else to do. That SUCKS!!! Why can't we all just be nice and not HATEFUL!!! When someone asks for words of encouragement, give them just that, not tell them how disrespectful they are beirng by doing the right thing as a wife and standing by her husband and his children. It doesn't make sence to me. It hurts me to see people be so cruel and mean to someone who is pouring their hearts out and honestly just wanting help and encouragement.



Its a real shame that we can't feel comfortable telling our story here without getting bashed for it :( Altho the 40ish group is very supportive so if your in that age group jump aboard ;)
kela22
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:17 PM
I think the reason some respond the way they do is because they can. We're all anonymous here and don't have to say anything to anyone's face, easy to be harsh and make quick judgements. Maybe ur post reminds them of their own situation that pissed them off. In general it just doesn't really matter what the people on this board think about your life (only you know the ins and outs of what's really going on), you gotta just take the gems of info and ideas and leave the useless negativity behind. Take it all in stride.
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kela22
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:27 PM
I think the other thing about this group is that SM's coming in think it might be a safehaven free from BM's bashing them (sure a lot of SM's feel they get enough difficulty from the BM in their life and would love to get away!)

This is not a SM only zone, lots of different types of scenarios here and not everyone's gonna be on your side. It's definitely interesting to say the least!
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