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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

walk a mile in my shoes before you judge ;)

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I have only been on here for a very short amount of time but i've seen alot of judgement comming from lots n lots of moms. Its sad really. we've all come here (i'm assuming) for the same type of things, support, encouragement, and just to get stories from others going thru similar situations and get opinions on how to handle things. and even tho there are lots of wonderful moms that give great support and encouragement there are also lots that just JUDGE on stuff they don't know. afterall none of us are in the EXACT SAME situation,,, EVERYONE on the face of this earth has different personalities which is what makes us individuals. why be rude and cruel and insulting? Do we want someone to act that way with us? NO. Seriously if we see a post that irritates us why not just pass by it and find one we can give encouragement on instead of just causing anger, irritation, and upset??? We're all trying to do the right thing and the best thing in the situation we're in... None of us are trying to bring chaos or heartache to our situation, we want it to be better! Thats why we're here! If we didn't care about our situations we would not be here we'd just ditch it and move on. PLEASE Ladies, show each other empathy and RESPECT just like we'd want to be shown to us.
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:09 PM
Replies (31-40):
rebeccasmly
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:16 PM

Some of us have been SMs for quite some time now, while are others are new at it. Some of us have been through quite a bit on our stepparenting journey and have gained much knowledge from it. So what may seem judgemental to some, may be just the SM giving advice and support that stems from her experience and the knowledge she has gained over the years.

KreatingMe
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:05 PM

This is a hot button issue for a lot of women, no matter what their role is. It's either, their child, their spouse, their home, finances, that's involved, all things dearest to a person. Strong feelings are going to inevitably accompany these discussions. 

LittleChitlins3
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 4:18 PM
4 moms liked this
This is MY opinion.... I think it's petty to bash someone, name call or tell someone they are not a parent. I see it a lot in here and find it childish and to me these people don't usually have a life and get kicks out of it.

Someone might be doing something the wrong way but the way you go about telling them is the issue. I've seen many times where someone will ask for advice on how others have handled the situation & are told right away they aren't a parent or you aren't their mom, etc. No one knows if someone is asking for the dad, this is CafeMOM not Cafedad.

Bash me if you want because I'll just ignore you like I always do.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
om1970
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting LittleChitlins3:

This is MY opinion.... I think it's petty to bash someone, name call or tell someone they are not a parent. I see it a lot in here and find it childish and to me these people don't usually have a life and get kicks out of it.

Someone might be doing something the wrong way but the way you go about telling them is the issue. I've seen many times where someone will ask for advice on how others have handled the situation & are told right away they aren't a parent or you aren't their mom, etc. No one knows if someone is asking for the dad, this is CafeMOM not Cafedad.

Bash me if you want because I'll just ignore you like I always do.



This deserves a 2 thumbs up!!! So True and totally agree!!!
LadyD78
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 1:37 AM
1 mom liked this
I'll be there in a few more years! Thanks for the heads up! It would be nice to have a place to find support because its gets seriously lonely and depressing having NO ONE to talk to, ask advice too, or even just vent too. Don't get me wrong, I love my DH more than the world but I can not talk to him. Long story. And it does suck. I only signed up on here because I thought this was a place I could do exactly that, get support, advice, if nothing else someone just to say, 'hey, hang in there, you're not the only one!' Instead, all 5 posts I have posted on this site so far, which have all been standing up to the nasty posts I read in reply to an OP's post then I was completely BASHED for my post! Just heartbreaking and WRONG!!!!!


Quoting om1970:

Quoting LadyD78:

Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth!!! I am new here and am totally heartbroken every time I see someone post something where they clearly just need some words of encouragement and people bash away at them. The first post I read this morning the OP simply asked for 'Words of Encouragement' and not 5 posts down was someone telling how disrespectful she was for doing what she was doing which was the RIGHT THING!!! 90% of the ladies on here I have noticed post uplifting comments and good advice but then there are the same few that always seem to chime in to say how awful a person is for doing the only thing they may know to do at that time. My situation is way different that anyone else's and not truly for the best. At least not the best for me and I honestly thought about posting something to try to just vent because I have no one in real life to talk to about how I feel and the hole this is burying me in but after reading the 'bashing' that these ladies do on here for someone who is crying out for help is AWFUL! There is no way in the world I would now post anything about my situation and ask for help on here for the simple fact that it would hurt me more to be bashed for not knowing what else to do. That SUCKS!!! Why can't we all just be nice and not HATEFUL!!! When someone asks for words of encouragement, give them just that, not tell them how disrespectful they are beirng by doing the right thing as a wife and standing by her husband and his children. It doesn't make sence to me. It hurts me to see people be so cruel and mean to someone who is pouring their hearts out and honestly just wanting help and encouragement.





Its a real shame that we can't feel comfortable telling our story here without getting bashed for it :( Altho the 40ish group is very supportive so if your in that age group jump aboard ;)

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
JalensMommy2012
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 2:10 AM
1 mom liked this
In the words of my favorite auntie (God rest her soul) "IF YOU WANT SUPPORT....PUT ON A DAMN BRA because that's about the only way you gonna get it!"

That's the way I view CM....especially this group. Yes it would be a wonderful thing if people knew when to either be supportive or just stfu. But what I find in this group IMO is a lot of hurt. Women who have not dealt with the issues and pain that brought them to this group. So because they are hurting, they hurt other people with their words.

When I do post about my situation personally, I take the advice I can use and apply it to my life, the rest I leave it sitting right on the screen. I've had a few insults slung my way that if I wasn't secure in myself wouldve made me go off. But I am secure so most of the times I laugh at the misery of the "attacker" and bid them good day.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jlg12678
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:38 AM
1 mom liked this
Completely agree with this.

I'll also add that it's always easy to hide behind your computer. I really doubt most are this bitchy in real life, and if they are...I feel sorry for them because something is obviously lacking in their life.


Quoting LittleChitlins3:

This is MY opinion.... I think it's petty to bash someone, name call or tell someone they are not a parent. I see it a lot in here and find it childish and to me these people don't usually have a life and get kicks out of it.



Someone might be doing something the wrong way but the way you go about telling them is the issue. I've seen many times where someone will ask for advice on how others have handled the situation & are told right away they aren't a parent or you aren't their mom, etc. No one knows if someone is asking for the dad, this is CafeMOM not Cafedad.



Bash me if you want because I'll just ignore you like I always do.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
HappeeMomma
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:58 AM
I also recommend that if you don't like her warm and fuzzy post, you should just STFU. Hurt? Exactly. Don't worry, OP, you'll find your nice group. By the way:1. As a parent, you need to stop caring what anyone says- be more like Forest Gump's mom; 2. Most people cannot walk a mile in my shoes- I run in stilettos all day ;) Hugs <3
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
klford
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 7:03 PM

Thank you! I posted a while back and the rudeness I received was sickening. Refuse to post again. Don't have the time nor energy to deal with judgemental, rude people. I wish you the best of luck on this site.  I may read it but won't ever ask for advice or even a ear to listen again. 

kmur
by Bronze Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this

 

theres a 30ish group also lol...i feel the same way as u both do, i post what im going through sometimes but i learned i have to watch how i write and what i say , which is ridiculous, because alot of just need to vent or want advice, and yes i agree 90% of the women are great but the 10% that arent , well thay have their own issues obviously, lol...

Quoting LadyD78:

I'll be there in a few more years! Thanks for the heads up! It would be nice to have a place to find support because its gets seriously lonely and depressing having NO ONE to talk to, ask advice too, or even just vent too. Don't get me wrong, I love my DH more than the world but I can not talk to him. Long story. And it does suck. I only signed up on here because I thought this was a place I could do exactly that, get support, advice, if nothing else someone just to say, 'hey, hang in there, you're not the only one!' Instead, all 5 posts I have posted on this site so far, which have all been standing up to the nasty posts I read in reply to an OP's post then I was completely BASHED for my post! Just heartbreaking and WRONG!!!!!


Quoting om1970:

Quoting LadyD78:

Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth!!! I am new here and am totally heartbroken every time I see someone post something where they clearly just need some words of encouragement and people bash away at them. The first post I read this morning the OP simply asked for 'Words of Encouragement' and not 5 posts down was someone telling how disrespectful she was for doing what she was doing which was the RIGHT THING!!! 90% of the ladies on here I have noticed post uplifting comments and good advice but then there are the same few that always seem to chime in to say how awful a person is for doing the only thing they may know to do at that time. My situation is way different that anyone else's and not truly for the best. At least not the best for me and I honestly thought about posting something to try to just vent because I have no one in real life to talk to about how I feel and the hole this is burying me in but after reading the 'bashing' that these ladies do on here for someone who is crying out for help is AWFUL! There is no way in the world I would now post anything about my situation and ask for help on here for the simple fact that it would hurt me more to be bashed for not knowing what else to do. That SUCKS!!! Why can't we all just be nice and not HATEFUL!!! When someone asks for words of encouragement, give them just that, not tell them how disrespectful they are beirng by doing the right thing as a wife and standing by her husband and his children. It doesn't make sence to me. It hurts me to see people be so cruel and mean to someone who is pouring their hearts out and honestly just wanting help and encouragement.





Its a real shame that we can't feel comfortable telling our story here without getting bashed for it :( Altho the 40ish group is very supportive so if your in that age group jump aboard ;)


 

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