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I know exactly why BM and I can't get along.

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:33 PM
  • 41 Replies
I, technically, was the other woman. They had been together (never married) for 4 years and had a small child together. Then I came along.

It's not something I am proud of. But I do know why she will never like me and why it's so hard for her to get along with DH.

I believe she, too, had a hand in her own demise. But that's a story for another night.

I wonder if any of you have come to terms with the fact that, no matter what, BM will always hate you.
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by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:37 PM
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 well that was very big of you to admit. do you stay out of her way?

liltigersmom
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:45 PM
How long has it been, since they split up?
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mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:01 PM
Yes. As much as I can. She thinks I'm afraid she will "beat my ass" but really I'm just trying to NOT cause any drama or grief for her, DH and SS. If she were to try and "beat my ass" I would deserve it.


Quoting baparrot2:

 well that was very big of you to admit. do you stay out of her way?


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mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:04 PM
Officially for 2 years this month. DH and I celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary next month.


Quoting liltigersmom:

How long has it been, since they split up?

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KellyReedy
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:08 PM
1 mom liked this

I can't say BM HATES me.  I dunno, maybe she does.  But SHE was the one to spread her legs while married!

child_of_fire
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:16 PM
1 mom liked this

You know, six months ago, I had accepted that. Now we're all getting along. I wasn't the OW, though, which probably made things easier-- however, my husband has custody, so I think that created more jealousy than in a normal situation. I feel like I'm shouting from the rooftops, but I'm so happy for relative peace. I'm happy to be able to be kind without feeling like a sucker. I'm happy that DSD seems less upset to go over there with every passing day. I just feel like as much as I gnawed over and freaked out when things WEREN'T going well, I feel like it's imperative for me to be equally loud and verbal about what a wonderful change BM has made. We're vastly different people with vastly different parenting styles-- but for the first time ever, I think we have respect for each other, and I am seeing how much she loves DSD now, and not just presuming. It's been an incredible experience. 

liever
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:23 PM
7 moms liked this

Some woman can't get passed the fact that someone "stole" their man away from them.  I am a BM and my son's SM was the other woman. At first, I did blame her.  I wouldn't allow her near my house.  After awhile, I come to realize that even thought she betrayed me, she was a friend of the family, my exhusband was the one that promised me the forever after and didn't fullfill his end of the bargain.  They were both equally at fault.

I talked to SM.  We are not very close but I do not go out of my way to ignore her or be hateful towards her. Heck, I will call her if I  can't get BD to answer his phone if it is important. 

People often comment to me as to why am I so nice to her.  Well, when my kids are standing beside me or standing beside her, I can be the nicest person in the world.  I refuse to stress them out over something stupid and petty. I grew up watching my older cousins play stupid games when they were divorced and the kids were the ones hurting.  I refuse to do that to my children.

Troubleswife
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:29 PM

 I think time heals as long as you are smart and just lay low. If you are a positive influence moving forward then hopefully she will eventually get over it. It takes time but I really think most healthy people will move past this as good things chip away at the bad........as long as you don't do anything stupid like SF does. LOL

liltigersmom
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:32 PM
So he knew you for a month or two.

Or officially meaning, when it was just the two of you?


Quoting mouthyhousewife:

Officially for 2 years this month. DH and I celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary next month.




Quoting liltigersmom:

How long has it been, since they split up?

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mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:40 PM
They have been split up officially for two years. I have known DH for 4 and a half years. We were only friends for 6 months or so and then had an on/off relationship for two years. When we were off, he was on with BM. When they were off, we were on. I know how marrying him makes me look after all that. But it's more complicated than what it looks. Lol.


Quoting liltigersmom:

So he knew you for a month or two.



Or officially meaning, when it was just the two of you?




Quoting mouthyhousewife:

Officially for 2 years this month. DH and I celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary next month.






Quoting liltigersmom:

How long has it been, since they split up?


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