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Disciplining step kids

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I guess I think I'm fair when it comes to disciplining my 2 step kids, but my husband thinks I'm going over board. If any stepmoms have advice Please Help!

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:52 PM
Replies (11-20):
packermomof2
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:56 PM


Quoting 20below:

My husband and I have a 2 yr old boy together. He has full custody of his kids. Tonight as I was dusting pictures I noticed that on a big picture collage of our 2 yr that we got when he was like 3 months old that there was a red pen scribbles all over it! I know that it was our 2 yr, but I also know that he had found that red pen sitting by the computer that was my step daughters pen that I have been telling her to put away so our 2 yr old wouldn't get it and mark things like that. So anyways I told her and my stepson to go down to their rooms and find all their pencils, pens, markers, etc. and throw them away! I have gave them a lot of warnings that if their going to have them in their room thats fine, but keep them up so their little brother wouldn't get them. My husband said that I was in the wrong and better get all the pencils, pens, etc. out of the trash and give them back and apoligize, because its everyones fault even his and mine! So I did

He's right. You could have been watching your kid better.  Instead, you didn't and you totally blame the kid who left the pen out for your kid scribbling on your picture.  Watch your kid, remind the older one to put the pen away, and let dad handle his kids from now on

I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.
John Locke
20below
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:58 PM

 Thanks, that sounds like a good idea. I try it next time

shanlee42
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:30 PM
I think having them throw out items they need to do homework and schoolwork is a little extreme. I agree letting him handle them is the way to go.
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kmur
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:32 PM

lol, how ironic, thats one of the things we argued about tonite also.....i just posted about it ...

kmur
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:40 PM

did he yell at you and tell you that you were wrong and had you  do this in front of the skids

angelmommy2806
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Throwing them away was a little extreme, even if they are from last year.

I've got a 2 year old also and know how sneaky they can be. I've also got my 2 SS's here full time, who constantly leave things out. Yes,I ask them to put things away, but they're kids and it doesn't always happen. Bottom line is the 2 yr old is My responsibility and if does ruin something it's because he's not being supervised properly.


Quoting 20below:

My husband and I have a 2 yr old boy together. He has full custody of his kids. Tonight as I was dusting pictures I noticed that on a big picture collage of our 2 yr that we got when he was like 3 months old that there was a red pen scribbles all over it! I know that it was our 2 yr, but I also know that he had found that red pen sitting by the computer that was my step daughters pen that I have been telling her to put away so our 2 yr old wouldn't get it and mark things like that. So anyways I told her and my stepson to go down to their rooms and find all their pencils, pens, markers, etc. and throw them away! I have gave them a lot of warnings that if their going to have them in their room thats fine, but keep them up so their little brother wouldn't get them. My husband said that I was in the wrong and better get all the pencils, pens, etc. out of the trash and give them back and apoligize, because its everyones fault even his and mine! So I did

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pce68
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:11 AM

Do the stepkids live with you all the time or do they just come on weekends? If your dh has full custody then you might discipline them more strongly than if they are just there for the weekends.

PoplarGrove
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:29 AM
1 mom liked this

ya, that's going overboard.  I have  kids and would never make my older ones throw out their writing utensils because their younger sibling wrote all over something.  Teach the 2 year old not to write on things.  When he does have him help you clean it up every time.  Blaming his older siblings on things he does is going to teach him to blame them as he grows up and at 2 he's old enough to start learning that.  And their rooms should be THEIR rooms.  Their little brother should be taught not to go in there or they should be given locks for their doors.  

Quoting 20below:

My husband and I have a 2 yr old boy together. He has full custody of his kids. Tonight as I was dusting pictures I noticed that on a big picture collage of our 2 yr that we got when he was like 3 months old that there was a red pen scribbles all over it! I know that it was our 2 yr, but I also know that he had found that red pen sitting by the computer that was my step daughters pen that I have been telling her to put away so our 2 yr old wouldn't get it and mark things like that. So anyways I told her and my stepson to go down to their rooms and find all their pencils, pens, markers, etc. and throw them away! I have gave them a lot of warnings that if their going to have them in their room thats fine, but keep them up so their little brother wouldn't get them. My husband said that I was in the wrong and better get all the pencils, pens, etc. out of the trash and give them back and apoligize, because its everyones fault even his and mine! So I did


captaincw322
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:29 AM
I would have had them collect them and put them in a bag high up in a cabinet or something. Throwing them away was a little extreme. However you and hubby have to seem like a united front, not only in front of your step kids, but also in front of your son. If not, they're going to learn the game very quickly. I discipline my ss4 the same way I do my dd2. Timeouts and they loose toys and rights to do fun things. We have custody so he's lived with us since he was 1 and I am a sahm. I am the one home with him so my rules go. Even if dh and I don't agree with the punishment (as long as its not too overboard) we go along with what the other parent says.

Quoting 20below:

 That's the thing though, my husband and I have agreed long time ago that's is one way we discipline them! If there in the wrong then we take something away! My husband was also worried that now we have to go buy new pencils and pen! Which I told him that all those writing utensils were from last year school supplies that they can't use again at school just at home

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t_creanskisa
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:50 AM

throwing them away was over kill. but do NOT say you're sorry for it. get them out of the trash after the kids go to bed and put them up.  leave only one small set out and they all have to ask you before they can use them and have to put back one before they can have another. and move or put away anything you don't want drawn on lol you have a 2 year old pens call to them  

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