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Disciplining step kids

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I guess I think I'm fair when it comes to disciplining my 2 step kids, but my husband thinks I'm going over board. If any stepmoms have advice Please Help!

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:52 PM
Replies (51-60):
Troubleswife
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:32 PM
Eh, I don't agree with this. They are in my home. I just know my husband and how he disciplines so I stay under that. I prefer to look like the good SM and let the parents be the heavy but it's my home and I will discipline accordingly. My DH supports it and that's all we need. The kids do fine. They realize we are the adults so they expect it.

Quoting k_hall1784:

You would have to discuss with dh what he thinks is fair. Those are HIS kids. 

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la_bella_vita
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:47 PM

 

Quoting MommaTasha1003:

The bio-parents should have a say in how step-parents parent..

A couple need to try their best in working together when it comes to parenting.

 I agree

needsupport100
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:53 PM

 


Quoting k_hall1784:

You would have to discuss with dh what he thinks is fair. Those are HIS kids. 

so they are HIS kids, then HE needs to find alternate daycare for them seeing as smom "can't get it right?"


 

needsupport100
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:56 PM

after reading replies-i agree (kinda) with your dh.

i don't think it was ALL you. hell i have a 10 year old. we HAVE to turn our back every now and then. HOWEVER, you have no proof who actually did xyz thus can't fault any one child.

just keep the picture out of reach and if your dh thinks you are "too hard" on diciplining HIS kids (as others put it) then ask him to find a more suitable sitter.

JLang
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 3:04 PM

My husband and I respect each others discisions in disipline. We will tell each other if we think the other went a little over board but we wouldn't take back whatever punishment was already given to the kids. I would have done the same thing you did but if your husband gives the kids back their markers and pens and goes against your decision it just shows the kids that their parents are not on the same team. I think it gives them reason to not listen to you in the future if they know dad is going to let them get away with it.

dbush0584
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 3:08 PM

I seem to be A LOT easier on my SKs than my DD.  DD gets in trouble for LOTS of things because I have worked HARD to teach her better.  SKs get away with A LOT because their mom didnt teach them better.  They are working on it and doing pretty good so I try to be fair in punishments but age is also a factor.  DD is 5 and SD is almost 9 and SS is 10.  How do you punish them?  How old are they?  How do you punish your kids?  How old are they?  I try to talk to them and explain why they cant do whatever or they do timeout or grounding from whatever they were doing...so on and so forth.

HappeeMomma
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 3:12 PM

Let him do it.  Tell him what you don't like and have him address it.  Here is one example: "Daddy, step kid #1 just trampled in the house with shoes on, would you like HIM to mop up or would you like to do it for him?"  Soon, he will be more sensitive to your initial rules.  Another way is to take the "well behaved kids" to ChuckECheese at the end of the week and leave the troubel makers at home with Dad.  You'll be in control of this place pretty quick!

pinksocks81
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:42 PM



Quoting Troubleswife:

I would not advise disciplining them more strictly than their parents or if your DH doesn't support it.

Quoting 20below:

I guess I think I'm fair when it comes to disciplining my 2 step kids, but my husband thinks I'm going over board. If any stepmoms have advice Please Help!



newwife1
by Silver Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:45 PM

This.

Unless of course the child is in danger or causing harm to someone else then any responsible adult should step in.


Quoting Soon2bmrsp0226:

I personally wouldnt discipline my SD. its not my responsibility, its her fathers.



pinksocks81
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:48 PM


Quoting Troublesomewife...

I agree that its best not to discipline your step kids more than the parents do but my HB is a little lenient and the kids are a bit over weight. I kid tired of the babying, really do. They are 10 and 12- boys. 

Quoting pinksocks81:



Quoting Troubleswife:

I would not advise disciplining them more strictly than their parents or if your DH doesn't support it.

Quoting 20below:

I guess I think I'm fair when it comes to disciplining my 2 step kids, but my husband thinks I'm going over board. If any stepmoms have advice Please Help!





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