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Disciplining step kids

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I guess I think I'm fair when it comes to disciplining my 2 step kids, but my husband thinks I'm going over board. If any stepmoms have advice Please Help!

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:52 PM
Replies (61-67):
officiallyapeac
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 6:17 PM

As long as your not trying to discipline them on the Internet or the use of fb... no problems..no worries

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 6:33 PM

I can never seem to find a pen when I need one.  Throwing good ones away?  *gasp!* 

Kids write on walls.  It's like a rite of passage.  If your SD hadn't left a pen out, you or your husband eventually would have.  And your DS would have found it.  It's simply not possible to keep eyes on a toddler every waking minute of the day, and they're pretty opportunistic.  I think the situation offered a teaching moment for your SKs along the lines of "why we don't leave things within reach of adventurous 2yos".  If the area written on is cleanable, enlist the SKs to clean the mess.  But taking away all writing utensils?  That just seems silly, to be honest.  And little fella needs to hear the word "NO!" with alongside some association with his artistic endeavors.  Your anger over the damaged collage is misdirected.  Sure they shouldn't have left a pen out, but if your toddler is taking interest in pens, it's time to start shaping some ideas of good places to scribble and not good places to scribble.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 6:46 PM



Quoting 20below:

My husband and I have a 2 yr old boy together. He has full custody of his kids. Tonight as I was dusting pictures I noticed that on a big picture collage of our 2 yr that we got when he was like 3 months old that there was a red pen scribbles all over it! I know that it was our 2 yr, but I also know that he had found that red pen sitting by the computer that was my step daughters pen that I have been telling her to put away so our 2 yr old wouldn't get it and mark things like that. So anyways I told her and my stepson to go down to their rooms and find all their pencils, pens, markers, etc. and throw them away! I have gave them a lot of warnings that if their going to have them in their room thats fine, but keep them up so their little brother wouldn't get them. My husband said that I was in the wrong and better get all the pencils, pens, etc. out of the trash and give them back and apoligize, because its everyones fault even his and mine! So I did

I agree with your husband. Your reaction to the pen incident was reminiscent of Mommy Dearest.

let me guess... no wire hangers in your house...?


Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:29 PM


Quoting whatIknownow:



Quoting 20below:

My husband and I have a 2 yr old boy together. He has full custody of his kids. Tonight as I was dusting pictures I noticed that on a big picture collage of our 2 yr that we got when he was like 3 months old that there was a red pen scribbles all over it! I know that it was our 2 yr, but I also know that he had found that red pen sitting by the computer that was my step daughters pen that I have been telling her to put away so our 2 yr old wouldn't get it and mark things like that. So anyways I told her and my stepson to go down to their rooms and find all their pencils, pens, markers, etc. and throw them away! I have gave them a lot of warnings that if their going to have them in their room thats fine, but keep them up so their little brother wouldn't get them. My husband said that I was in the wrong and better get all the pencils, pens, etc. out of the trash and give them back and apoligize, because its everyones fault even his and mine! So I did

I agree with your husband. Your reaction to the pen incident was reminiscent of Mommy Dearest.

let me guess... no wire hangers in your house...?


No wire hangers should be in all caps and an exclaimation mark at the end

NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children. Do you understand? ~The Crow

SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:37 PM
I've done the same with my (s)kids. They keep better track of their stuff now.

If DH doesn't agree, let him do the disciplining.
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krazykiddles
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:42 PM

sealed lipDon't say a word about discipling a skid in this group, some of these ladies will tear you apart!

purplerobin
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:12 PM



Quoting mamakenzi:


Quoting 20below:

 Ok, I do watch him very well! I know that when he is quiet, I go check on him! He his also very smart and can move our kitchen chairs that are higher chairs then normal and reach things! Even though one day a week i'm home with our 2yr old and I am usually cleaning I watch him very good and actually most of the time he is in the same room as me and sometimes helping me clean!

The point is, your husband is right.  It's apparent that the child had a moment alone to get into trouble.  That is everyone's faults; you and your husband for allowing it to happen (and I get it, kids are quick and parents can't watch them 24/7), and the older kids for having the pens out.  But on the same hand how do you know the pens weren't put up at the time of the incident and the child didn't get into them?  You clearly stated he can move chairs to reach things he isn't suppose to.


Either the 2 yr old had only a moment alone or it took him awhile-which is it? Personally I think her husband needs to back off and try and understand what the OP is dealing with it.  As far as disciplining responsibility-if you don't have the right to discipline as a stepparent you shouldn't have responsibility for the stepkids.

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