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mom vs dad: little talk in red

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:57 PM
  • 15 Replies

my daughter is almost 3, and my son is 9. 

My son grabbed his sister's baby doll and was playing rough with it. Lilee started crying and said "give me baby you hurt her." Then she proceeded to give baby kisses and tell her "it all better."

I told her ah that's sweet. Is that what mommy does when you get hurt. Both kids told me yes, so I asked what does daddy say when you are hurt? My son looks at me and says he calls me a wuss.

I told him daddy just wanted him to be tough. but honestly I've yelled at my husband for this crap before. 


just wondering your thoughts, opinions, etc.

Our little talk, so I asked DH last night why he called our boy a wuss, and what exactly a wuss was because when I was younger I was told it was a wimp and a puss. He said oh no I would never say anything derogatory like that. I call him a wiennie(yea cause that's much better). so my son overheard this. and as I was tucking him into bed last night he said mommy I don't think daddy meant to call me a wuss. I told him it's ok cause I know he's a tough guy. 

and i would also like to add my son and ydd are not whiners when they are hurt. my little one we actually say if she doesn't cry she's not hurt and we don't mention it. she has to like smack her head repeatedly on concrete to cry. we've done this with all the kids. now SD she is a drama queen and use to start sobbing again with each new person she could tell about her boo boo. 

Kasi Lynn, Calvin David, & Lilith Jade's Mommy
The Work will wait while you show the child the RAINBOW, but the rainbow won't wait while you do your work.

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:03 PM

Eh... At 9? How hurt is he? When I was 9 my 'mom' (guardian/aunt)told me to suck it up if it wasn't life threatening or dr/hospital worthy. At 3, maybe not the best way to handle it.

shanlee42
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:07 PM
I don't think I like the wuss part. I would be okay with him saying suck it up.
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packermomof2
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:54 PM

I've told my kids to deal with it before.  Sometimes it does more damage to coddle to a scrape than it does to tell the kid to buck up.  

annabl1970
by Gold Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:04 PM
2 moms liked this

It's OK. I think kids need dad for tough love, and mom for cuddling. So next time his dad calls him wuss, tell him come to you for kisses. LOL

angelmommy2806
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:06 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm kinda with this, depending on the injury.

Quoting annabl1970:

It's OK. I think kids need dad for tough love, and mom for cuddling. So next time his dad calls him wuss, tell him come to you for kisses. LOL

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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:50 PM

If there's no blood I tell the kids to shake it off. If there's blood, we clean it up, put and band aid on and I tell them to shake it off. I've been doing that since they were babies. I'd comfort them a bit, but kids get hurt all the time, it's part of growing up.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:02 AM
I'm a big fat wuss so I'm not the right person to answer lol
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Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:07 AM
1 mom liked this

Tell him "hmm remember that next time dad gets hurt"

MamaMoopsie
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:03 AM

My DH is the opposite end of the spectrum there. He coddles them. I'll give them a hug and kiss and help them dust off then I let it go unless it is serious.

If my DH were to tell the kids they were being a wuss...I'd have a few choice words on the fact that he needs to teach our kids sensitivity to other people, and that expressing pain does NOT make them a wuss!

Gotta give you kudos, though, you didn't talk bad about Daddy! So many people do.

sassy711
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 8:51 AM

It's a fine line to walk with young kids.  You have to acknowledge the hurt, fix it, and then give some kisses with the "OK, all better, now go play".  You also have to put in some of the "well it's not bad sweetie, you're fine".  As they get older you can begin the "suck it up and move on" concept.  Too much one way creates a child that believes EVERY issue demands serious attention.  Too much the other way creates a kid that won't come for attention when needed.  It's a balancing act.  

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