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Any way to get the other parent to go to mediation?

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:10 AM
  • 3 Replies

 DF asked BM if she would do mediation with him. He said that he wants things to get better between them for their sakes and their daughter's sake.  He told her that he thinks their emotions get in the way of both of them making good decisions and that they need a neutral party to help them figure out a way to compromise and do right by eachother and their daughter.  She refused and said that they should figure things out themselves.  The thing is, they have tried figuring things out themselves.  BM only agrees to talk about things on the phone. When DF talks to her on the phone to try to discuss things he stays calm but she gets irate, she "yells" at him (doesn't scream but rants loudly), interrupts him, calls him names and belittles him. Eventually he hangs up because he refuses to take her verbal abuse. As long as he is agreeing to her terms she is fine but when he wants her to compromise his way on something or when he wants to stick with the court order instead of agreeing to do something her way she says "and you SAY you have our daughter's best interest at heart, you're such a selfish jerk, I'm willing to compromise with you but not when you treat me like this" etc.

Things are not good between them right now. So much stuff is not actually in the court order and is left up to interpretation. DF has tried to be the one that gives but BM is only ever happy if she is getting more than she is giving so it ends up being DF always giving till it hurts and then BM giving a little back.  He has tried treating her the way that she treats him and she gets in an uproar, threatens to call her lawyer and becomes even more difficult to work with.  There is NOTHING that DF can do to make it a good situation all around.  DF doesn't want to go back to the referee because last time the referee didn't want to touch a lot of the stuff that they are having issues with, saying "work it out between the two of you", he feels like it will be a waste of money and time. But on the other hand, things can't keep going the way they are, for the sake of everybody involved.  How to convince BM to do mediation OR get the court to order it?

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:10 AM
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Replies (1-3):
EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:20 AM

anybody? :)

terpmama
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:25 AM

Go back to court... And spell everything out

EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:32 AM

 That's what I told him he should do if he can't get her into mediation.  I mean, things can't keep going like this.  When he said he wanted to do mediation she sais "we already went to court and I'd appreciate it if you didnt waste my time like that again"

Quoting terpmama:

Go back to court... And spell everything out

 

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