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Lost...

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 5:03 PM
  • 16 Replies

The latest from my stable - DH had a loud one with me last night about a lot of pent up resentment that crops from a lot of things gone wrong over the past three years. Esp with SD. She is 14 and struggling with her pubertal issues and has effectively started fighting with her mother, back answering DH and completely stonewalling me. I have decided to be distant with her, although it feels un-natural and so I draw her into a conversation whenever I find something to say - trivial mostly - like "are those new frames?" to get a nod or a grunt in response. I mostly leave her be, hoping that someday she will come around. 

DH, SD and I recently went on a trip where SD and I didnt talk much, neither of us cared. DH went ballistic on me yesterday and told me that there will be no more vacations together with SD for me - its a waste of money, because the two of you don't talk and he does not want to see that.

I told him I cannot force conversation on an unwilling child, quoting that his interactions with her are pretty awkward too and she has outright fights with her own mother, where the mother doesn't always win!! But DH's brilliant idea is that he cannot stand that she and I don't talk and interprets it as my hostility. He squarely told me that he has no intention of mixing his family with me anymore (including his brothers and cousins, etc) and that I am not to go for vacations/holidays with them anymore, but he and SD will. 

I don't have family in the US other than DH and his family, so I suppose here on all holidays will be a lonely affair, being by myself while these guys go vacationing, partying and getting together. 

I was reduced to tears. I don't know why I care so much for someone who clearly doesn't care for me. I must be shameless. 

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 5:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 5:21 PM

I'd say fine and then make plans to visit your family. He is trying to bully you into complying by secluding you.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 5:24 PM

 You tell your husband I dont talk to my own teen daughter at times. Its just not worth it! LOL! But it isnt lying!

annabl1970
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 5:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell him f...off.

He is control freak.

Do you have any friends?

How is your relationship with his family?

 

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 5:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Life as a doormat is worse than divorce.  As I've said before in response to your posts, you deserve better than what you've got.

Chiu
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 5:50 PM

I know its only getting worse. My relations with his family are quite alright, but he moderates it. Life as a doormat is true. Its not so much about how I will spend my holidays - I will do something useful and enjoyable with myself, its that this is absolutely atrocious - his control is just crazy. And I am horribly hurt. 

Charli627
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:50 PM
Like someone said tell him f off.
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Charli627
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:51 PM
I read this to dh and even he said that's f'ed up!
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shanlee42
by Silver Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 7:03 PM
2 moms liked this

That is complete crap. Teenagers are tough, tell DH to get over himself.

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 7:07 PM
1 mom liked this

here's a hint-he wants to do his own thing? let him

go out yourself and explore!

there's a big world out there momma-go explore it and learn something new

I dont care when DH goes off with his 2 kids-because that just means mommy and dd8 get extra bonding time together :)

KellyReedy
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 7:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Nope!  I simply would NOT put up with this!  Life is short!  Not fair to be unhappy!

Blend in!

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