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Does your stepchild call you "Mom"

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 how long have they called you that? Was it something they initiated or you or maybe BD? How does BM feel about it?

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 8:53 PM
Replies (31-40):
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:57 AM

Not on purpose.  I ignore their slip-ups, but BM freaks out when they accidentally call her my name or call me mom.  They self-correct, quite obviously tripping through their list before spitting out the correct name, but she takes those innocent errors personally.  I have no interest in being called mom.  I'm not their mom. 

by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:08 PM
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I'm "Pepper" to SS14.  Although during the holiday break, he was talking with DD15 and his cousins.  I walked up in the middle of their conversation, but he said "I have two moms."  DD15 said "No, you have one mom."  SS14 said "No, I have two moms, my mom and Pepper.  Pepper is my SM, DUHHHH."  I looked at him and before I could say anything he said "And a cool SM at that."  My have we come a long way.  He does not call me "mom" though and I would not allow that. 

by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:58 PM

SS called me Mom once by accident. I didn't pay much attention to it and I knew it was an accident, so I just let it be. I would not like him to call me Mom and I know that BM would flip if she even knew that it slipped that SS called me Mom.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:14 PM

My SKids have always called me the my first name. Then last week my OSD16 called me mommy in a few texts...of course I didn't initiate this. DH and I will be married 7 years next month so I've been around for awhile and she now lives with us full time and has supervised visits w/BM. She loves her BM and is always eager to see/talk to her but for whatever reason, she started it. It surprised me but I'm not going to encourage/discourage it although I do like it. :) SD14 and SS14 still call me by my first name and come over every weekend (different BM).

by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:18 PM

My YSS (7yo) does. But he does it in a cute/joking way. OSS16 has done it in a joking way a couple times too, like when he wants me to do something for him. I think it's funny too. We know they don't mean it. They know who their mom is, as DH and TM have 50/50.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:52 PM

My SS calls me mom sometimes when he forgets he is at daddy's house. I always says he wants to stay with us and be with daddy. I think he feels more comfortable at our house because we do not have any other children and at BM's she lives with 8 other adults and 9 other kids. It's a zoo compared to a sanctuary.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 3:10 PM
Yes my skids call me mama, they started calling me that after their 3rd in counter with me. Dh's family corrected them at first than started letting it go. I know it was because they were missing a mother figure, so I wasn't for sure to correct them but at the time my fiance (now dh) thought it was fine.

Since than they always called me mama and by the time bm came back into the picture she couldn't stop them. She told them not to call me mama, so when they visit she reminds them after they call me that and when they come home its mama again.

Nobody tells them different but bm and they adjust for her at time (only with her). Nobody (dh,dh's mom, and the rest of their family) feels its disrepectful to bm because it was her choice not to be around. Pluse we all agree its the kids choice on what they call us; its their feelings that's important and their attachments. Its disrespectful to them to try and make them change what they know and use to.

Their not babies so they know actually who she is and know who I am. They remember the wedding and always say, "that's when you became our mama too; but you took care of us before we became family".
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by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 3:18 PM

Yes my SS calls me mom, he has been doing for about 8 or 9 years now. I didn't initiate it, he just one day started calling me mom and yes I still remember the first time he called me mom. At first I kept correcting him but after awhile I gave up. Truthfully I don't know how BM feels about it nor at this point do I care. My SS has been living with DH and I full time for 9 years now, SS sees her maybe 2 or 3 times a year. 

by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 3:24 PM
If what a child calls you has no bearing on how much they love you or you love them, then why is it an issue if a child chooses to call a sp mom/dad?.I'm not talking about it being forced on them, I'm talking about a child.choosing to do it.

If my dd had a sm, and felt close enough to that sm that she called her mom, I would not have a problem with it. As long as it wasn't being pushed on her, she is free to choose for herself.

As I said before, we don't obsess over titles here, it's about the relationship, not just the blood.

Quoting AmyB118:

Nope - they have a mom and that's what they call her "Mom".  When they were younger they used to call me Ms. Amy now it's just Amy - which is what I prefer.

OSS21's GF just had a baby on Tuesday - That's what I want that baby to call me - Amy.  I'm not their mom nor this baby's Grandparent.

FTR, what they call you has no bearing on how much they love you or  you love them.  And if a BP disagrees w/their child calling a SP "Mom or Dad" then it's disrespectful of the SP to allow that to continue.  I'd look at it like this: When your child gets a SP will it make you angry that SM allows them to call HER Mom?

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by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 3:45 PM

SS has called me mommy since i first met him 2 years ago. Bm had a problem with it at first, then i got pregnant and we agreed that it was ok. Yes we had a face to face conversation. Now that our girl will 1 in 3 weeks and he still calls me mommy she suddenly has a problem with it. She tells me you cant be called mommy because you are nothing to him, you didnt birth him i did. well fine ill tell him to stop. He doesnt want to stop. So im leaving it alone.

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