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bm is asking Dh for more visitation

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:19 PM
  • 30 Replies
My dh has full legal and physical custody of my ss. During divorce dh asked for full custody with visitation at his discretion, bm did not contest or show up to court. This was 7 yrs ago. Ss sees bm one weekend a month. Recently bm has been asking for more time but dh doesn't want to let ss go more than the one weekend a month. I have asked dh why he doesn't give bm another weekend. He will ask ss if he wants to go see bm and ss always says no. Ss didn't want to go with bm for the holidays either. Am I wrong for pushing dh to allow bm more time with ss? Also I am worried about why ss doesn't want to see bm. Is this something I should stay out of?
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by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Miss-tearious
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:26 PM

What about supervised visits? I wonder if SS doesn't quite feel comfortable since he hasn't been around BM much. Maybe easing into it might help... ?

RMCmata
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:31 PM
Bm would not be ok with that. I wondered that too but he seems to do fine on those one weekend visits but recently he has seemed to be pulling away. He doesn't even like calling her. Dh and I have to insist he calls.
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KimberlyMKasten
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:14 PM

How old is your SS? I would talk to him and find out why he doesn't want to go. If he's old enough to decide on his own I wouldn't make him go.

sid1083
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 6:52 PM
1 mom liked this

If visits are at dad's discretion, leave it be.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:08 PM

You should probably stay out of it, for your own good.

but, no, you are not wrong for wondering what is behind this. 

I am also wondering.

May I ask, what is BM's involvement in SS's life, besides her parenting time? I mean, does she go to EC's, parent teacher conferences, etc? how involved in his life is she, besides the time she spends with him?

heathercm26
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:24 PM
Stay out of it but beware.....your dh is keeping something from you. That is a very onesided custody order and it is very strange. Missing a court date s not the only reason that she only gets to see him at her discretion.
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heathercm26
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:24 PM
His discretion, i mean
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shanlee42
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:29 PM
Just curious. Would you still call it one sided if it were the other way around?

I agree. You need to stay out of it. I too think there may be more to the story.


Quoting heathercm26:

Stay out of it but beware.....your dh is keeping something from you. That is a very onesided custody order and it is very strange. Missing a court date s not the only reason that she only gets to see him at her discretion.
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shanlee42
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:30 PM
I was wondering how old he is too. Maybe something goes on there that he doesn't like.

Quoting KimberlyMKasten:

How old is your SS? I would talk to him and find out why he doesn't want to go. If he's old enough to decide on his own I wouldn't make him go.

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RMCmata
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:45 PM
Ss is 10. Bm is not involved at all in ss life besides her weekend visitation. There is a whole back story to bm. She started using drugs when ss was about 1 and dh was deployed. She doesn't want to know about ss ec and never ask about school. Bm is a roller coaster. Bm is bipolar and is extremely emotionally unstable. We can tell when she comes off her meds...she starts ranting about me keeping her son from her ..etc..etc. then will say she wants to start over. Ss is very protective of me. Ss often defends me when bm talks bad about me (dh and I explained he doesn't needed to defend me and that it's an adult issue) She had 3 other kids that live with her and her bf in a small 1 br apartment. He is dh only child and I have no birth kids.
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