See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
and left me with a child who has a broken spirit
This is my first post. I am the step mom to a 23 yo SS, 19 yo SS, 10 year old SD, 10 yo DD, 9 yo DD and 20 month old DD. Only the 4 girls live with us. My husbands late wife attempted suicide when SD was 4 and was in hospital for a week. When SD was 7 her mom took to many high blood pressure meds. She was addicted to Oxy and pain pills and would write her own prescriptions with a Dr's RX pad that she stole from a Dr's office. She took out loans with their joint account and bought 15k worth of pills that DH didn't know about. SD was standing there when the paramedics were trying to revive her, DH took DS to school and BM died. What isn't obvious to outsiders is that part of SD died that day too. The part that would bust out into a song from a happy heart or give a cheesy smile for the camera. That child is gone. What is left is a child who has PTSD. A child that gives a blank stare when asked to pose for the camera, but is pissed when asked to leave the shot. She can be content one moment and then fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. She has had melt downs where me a grown woman wants to leave the house. It sounds like something you would hear in a mental hospital with the screaming. Usually over me or her dad telling her to clean her room. Then she shadows us. If we go to the store, she has to be no less than 3 inches away from me, hubby or the kids. it is really strange. Something I've never experienced. If I tell her quit following me so close she will make a bee line to my 9 year old and follow behind her every step. If dd tries to run, SD will run right behind her. I will tell her to stand back and give dd9 some room and SD will break out into hysterics and cry saying "SM doesn't like me." WTF? abandonment issues? I have not a clue. So getting back at home is no better. She has to be talking to someone at ALL times. She will take a shower and watch movies alone, but other then that she is talking to someone. I tell my daughters to do homework and she will want to come down and sit right next to them. Without fail she will start talking. I get frustrated and tell my dd to go to her room and finish and SD will start to talk to the cat. The only reason things have gotten better is because she got a cell phone and is now calling friends. She is only 10 but she is on the phone from the time she's home till its time to go to bed, unless it is time to eat. DH says nothing, he sees nothing wrong with this. What ever I say an excuse is given. An example she sent a text message to my DD 9 that a boy in her class likes her and he wants to F ck her all night. This was sent to my dd9. I was LIVID. I showed the text to MIL and said I better not ever get this kind of text again. MIL didn't read it and said well I didn't see it, the phone turned off. I grabbed to phone and read it to her.. SD said, "I didn't send that, another girl was using my phone and she sent that". That was good enough for DH and MIL. MIL said "see, you should find out what's going on before you blame SD. I don't want you to blame her for something she didn't do" Oh ok, so the fact that it was sent at 10 on a Tuesday night. The subject was dropped and DH wont address the matter is closed. That brings me to now. SD and DD are in the same class. DD said, SD was late coming back to class. The teacher got mad at her and SD's excuse was she was in the bathroom throwing up. The teacher snapped back, "you are always throwing up". That was something strange. I only have know her to throw up once and that was when her dad asked her to clean the bathroom. She got mad and said no she didn't feel good. (she was on her period) He told her to do and and she went in there and threw up all over the floor and came out with saying see, I told you I was sick. So he didn't ask her to clean any more. Tonight the same thing. She's picking at her food and then she finally eats a few big bites. I was watching her and each bit of spaghetti was strange. She would rummage through moving everything around. finially pick up one strand put it in her mouth and then make a face gulping it down. When we are done, she runs over to the toilet. She was gaging and throwing up her food. I go to tell DH. He tells me "big deal, it was probably just to spicy. It doesn't mean what you think it means." oh ok. So what do you think I should do.