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Yes I really Did Communicate With BM!!!

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Oh boy something so simple can turn into a damn drama with bm. I mean, some may be saying i have no business in communicating with bm but i felt like i did. So, we are court ordered to carry ss's insurance. My whole family is on my insurance and that includes ss. Court said it was my or dh as along as ss is covered and the state did not have to pay for they didnt care.

Well, bm fought tooth and nail to not have ss on my insurance. She kept insisting that dh had to cover  ss. Well, the fact of the matter is we are married and i am the policyholder for my whole family. Court said it was fine. Her case worker told her if she didnt want to have ss on my insurance put it in writting and i can remove him but she never did. 5 years later and we have a problem with an insurance claim. They denied the coverage since she went outside the network. She is ordered to pay co pay. My insurance did pay $15441.00 and denied $1060. We let her know and her response was " i am not paying" Well, that is fine but who is going to  because she took her son outside my insurance network and she is responsible for the copay.

I texted her this morning this to see if we could all work on it to solve the issue because according to her she has secondary insurance for ss. Not to start trouble but to inform her about the letter i received and how we could all solve the issue. Her response was i will deal with "dad" and i advised her that was all fine but i have all the information she needed to know since i am the policyholder and that i encouraged her to speak to my husband if she was not comfortable talking to me about it.  I mean come on woman all i wanted was to solve this like civilized adults since i have all the information about my policy. She was the one who went outside the network.

Did i step on her toes or something? She reponded more like in a smart ass ways but i didnt respond back.

by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 2:21 PM
Replies (41-50):
aznblond9
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:01 AM

 


Quoting faerie75:

 this is why i preferred to find my own coverage and have him pay support for it rathyer than him carry and get a credit. if im tkaing them to teh doc id rather know my covereage than ask a second party.

A lot easier isnt it? Well, bm isnt like you. She would rather the state pay or dh. Since state didnt want to pay so dh is ordered to do so.

aznblond9
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting LOVLYLOVEKGS:

take her to small claims


 yes, i will have to if she doesnt pay

aznblond9
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:03 AM

 


Quoting packermomof2:

Let her talk to the insurance people herself.  They won't give out your information, but if she's custodial she should be able to talk to them so that she can handle things without having to go through you.

I do that with my ex's.  All I had to do was fax a copy of the CO to the insurance company and they talk to me about my kids coverage.  I've done it for six years with no problem whatsoever and I cut out the middle man.

OH no one is stopping her to talk to the insurance people. Her claimed is that they refused her any information without my information. I dont know if that is true or not. That would make my life a lot easier if she could just handle it through the insurance people

 

aznblond9
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:04 AM

 


Quoting shanlee42:

I think you had a right since it's your policy. I would definitely have DH deal with her about it moving forward. Is your name on the bill? If it is, that may cause other issues for you if she refuses to pay.


yes, unfortunately

soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:31 AM

Thats still your dh's problem you cover his son for him it's his problem to deal with. If you don't want to risk it then don't cover him.


Quoting aznblond9:



Quoting soonergirl980:

Just because you are doing your DH a favor by covering SS on your policy does not give you the right to contact mom about anything. Give DH the info and he can work it out with mom.

I do feel i have a right because this concerned me because it is my policy and if bill didnt get paid i would have to




tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:44 AM

Wait till she has a issue and contacts the insurance company to ask questions about SS.  They will tell her "sorry we can not give you information since you are not the primary on the insurance".    You will definately have drama then.    I gave the BM my Social security number and birthday and she called saying she was me but we got along well.  I would let DH handle thisits obvious she isnt willing to work with you.   Shouldnt really matter who covers SS at least he is covered.  If she has insurance also cant you guys take the outstanding bill and submit to her insurance company?

aznblond9
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:18 PM

 


Quoting tiredmama42:

Wait till she has a issue and contacts the insurance company to ask questions about SS.  They will tell her "sorry we can not give you information since you are not the primary on the insurance".    You will definately have drama then.    I gave the BM my Social security number and birthday and she called saying she was me but we got along well.  I would let DH handle thisits obvious she isnt willing to work with you.   Shouldnt really matter who covers SS at least he is covered.  If she has insurance also cant you guys take the outstanding bill and submit to her insurance company?

I think she tried that. She thought it was dh's insurance and she called dh and asked for his social security  but dh said it was my so she was livid.  She is insane there is no way i would ever give her my social security. DH didnt even want her to know where we live or what town left alone my social security. LOL. We are not that fortunately

 

aznblond9
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:19 PM

 


Quoting soonergirl980:

Thats still your dh's problem you cover his son for him it's his problem to deal with. If you don't want to risk it then don't cover him.

 

Quoting aznblond9:

 

 

Quoting soonergirl980:

Just because you are doing your DH a favor by covering SS on your policy does not give you the right to contact mom about anything. Give DH the info and he can work it out with mom.

I do feel i have a right because this concerned me because it is my policy and if bill didnt get paid i would have to

 

 

 

It is court ordered i carry the insurance for my whole family. We are married dh's issues are my as well at this when it comes to issues like these

 

lnr187
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:42 PM

 oh well, her loss. too bad for her i guess... but your dh shouldn't be mad about you talk to bm. you were trying to help and save her money.  have dh let her know that. let her regret it and see how she reacts int he future.

Quoting aznblond9:

 

 

Quoting lnr187:

im going to assume the bill is in your name since you are the polichy holder? no you do not overstep. if it was anyone else, not a ss/sm sitation, then you'd contact a person to discuss payment! this should be the same. you want to make sure the bill gets paid. bm should have checked with you or the insurance co to make sure the dr was in network. they weren't... her fault. that being said, what does CO say about copays and uninsured costs?

Yes, since i am the policyholder the bill is in my name. I mean i just wanted to bring it up with her and discuss it, and perhaps, if she was civilized and talked to me like an adult i would not mind help a little. I do have benefits through my company where i put aside x amount for my medical expenses. But no, she was being difficult so no i am not helping at this point. Her fault for going out of network. Court ordered says she is to pay copay. I just dont want to take her to court and start this whole mess just because she cant act like a civilized adult.

 

 

shanlee42
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:59 PM
1 mom liked this
That totally stinks. How could she not have known it was your insurance if it was court ordered? Sounds like an really important thing to miss.

Quoting aznblond9:

 




Quoting shanlee42:


I think you had a right since it's your policy. I would definitely have DH deal with her about it moving forward. Is your name on the bill? If it is, that may cause other issues for you if she refuses to pay.




yes, unfortunately

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