BM never keeps promises to kids...how do I handle it?
Sorry....I am still learning all of the Cafe Mom "shorthand..."
I have 4 wonderful step-kids that I adore. My husband and I get along well with their mom and we have found a way to navigate through most everything when it comes to dealing with the complexities of our situation. We even took a vacation together once, but that's a story for another time....:)
The problem is that their mom doesn't keep promises. When she doesn't, and the kids ask us to step in, it gets awkward. For example, BM promised to take the 3 girls to get their hair cut. She asked my husband and I specifically not to do it, because she wanted it to be a mommy-daughter thing. WEEKS went by, and she still hadn't taken them.
Last weekend, we took the kids to the mall and my huband got his hair cut. The girls BEGGED to get theirs done too. My hunband called BM, she threw a fit. Our oldest girl got on the phone with her and asked her to commit to getting her hair cut on Monday. BM wouldn't do it.
To be fair, BM does have some medical challenges that keep her from being able to easily do some of the things my husband and I can do. That said, we have done everything we can to help make sure she doesn't feel left out of things (see my note above about the vacation), we offer to pay for the extras, etc, but in the end, she wants to have control, but won't follow through. Our oldest is 11, and I see this being a much bigger problem as the kids grow. Thoughts? Suggestions?