A SM friend just posted this question on FB

[daddysgf]

She has two young kids and a 12 year old SS..
She asked:
If your almost 13 year old had a cell phone or ipod, should you as a parent know the passcode.

I said yes.

[mrs.will]

My oldest 2 both have passcodes and I don't know them but rest assure if I asked them to unlock the phone they both will without hesitation. Partly cause those are the rules for having the phone IE: my DH and I do random checks and partly cause they are not crazy enough to tell me no lol.

[destiny83]

Yes. And I also think a password is only acceptable if they have siblings, step siblings that they want to keep it away from. My DD and my SD both know that I do regular checks, the pods go on my dresser at 8pm. It's a priveledge. You have to be this way IMO. If it were up to them they would have every freedom they wanted.

[Javamom00]

 yes a 1000 times over my two boys have both, and i take them randomly and check them, they are not allowed passcodes, if I find one on them, They loose the priveledge of having them. And they are only allowed texting on their phones, no data packages and if history is cleared from Ipods they loose them as well. 

[PROGENITOR]

 So, SSs mom has said to him that only she can have the password. Does that mean that during the week when he is with us and during the breaks and weekends that he is with us and wants to hop online, on our one family computer, we can say sorry no facebook unless you give your dad the password. Or would that make us assholes?

[Miss-tearious]

I agree! BM just got SD11 & SS10 iphones last week. SERIOUSLY?! They don't need them. DH told her that if they want to have their phones at our house he requires that they give HIM the pass code (not me!). BM said no way, that she monitors their content on a daily basis and she doesn't trust DH. She told him the kids don't trust him anymore because the, "wicked step monster" is in charge. DH told her that as their parent it is his obligation and right to monitor their phones. She said the kids need to be able to vent. He told her that they need to learn a healthy way to vent and if they aren't comfortable with him seeing what they are saying they shouldn't be saying it.

It's so frustrating. But I definitely agree that parents need to know the pass codes.

Quoting PROGENITOR:

His dad should know the password. SM doesn't need to know, but dad does. When SS first got a FB he said that his mom said only she could have the password. I think maybe, sometimes.....at least I hope this is what happens, the CP will say "Don't give out your password to anyone other than me" and it is percieved by the kid that literally, and they feel like they aren't allowed to tell the OP. But that doesn't mean that one parent came out and said you can't have your OP know, they just aren't considering the OP at all.

[Miss-tearious]

We're going through the same thing... Last weekend was the first weekend with the phones, and it was AWFUL! So I can't imagine it is going to get any better. Our solution is the same; you don't want DH to have the password? Then you can't use it at our house. So I don't think it would make you a-holes.

Quoting PROGENITOR:

 So, SSs mom has said to him that only she can have the password. Does that mean that during the week when he is with us and during the breaks and weekends that he is with us and wants to hop online, on our one family computer, we can say sorry no facebook unless you give your dad the password. Or would that make us assholes?

[mz_erica03]

 Yes, yes and yes!

[ShannaBee]

Yes.

[mamaofficer]

Yes

[JP-StrongForTwo]

My DD doesnt have a cell. 

But i do know her password on the computer for her game sites like ticket to read and xtramath  (im the one who made it lol)