Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

A SM friend just posted this question on FB

Posted by   + Show Post
She has two young kids and a 12 year old SS..
She asked:
If your almost 13 year old had a cell phone or ipod, should you as a parent know the passcode.

I said yes.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:35 PM
Replies (61-70):
gibro19
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:59 AM

Should that even be in question.

We are dealing with a similar situation. Step daughter who is 12 just got a iphone. She has a passcode on it - I tell husband (her dad) he needs to have that passcode. he agrees but I don't think he has yet - but if it were my kid...

I think this is the kind of stuff that if we as parents or guardians taking care of children don't address or look at as important - is why there are so many sick and sad stories of our kids being involved in sexual relationships or other questionable and dangerous situations.

I cannot believe the number of stories I see on the news of the latest teacher or coach or what have you being arrested for having sex with a child. It is becoming an epidemic.

At this young of an age - our children are so vulnerable - uncomfortable in their own skin, still searching for their own voice and struggling to find out about everything the world is throwing at them - all the while their hormones are raging and their bodies are changing.

Even though we as parents will be met with hostility or anger at "invading their privacy", we are their parents, we are given the responsibility of protecting them and caring for them. So if a screaming 12 year old is pissed off at me for wanting the passcode to a phone or anyother thing (ipad, email, fb, etc) then so be it.

Just for the sake of saying - this is my husband's issue right now with his daughter - although she lives with us full time - I will not push this issue because I will not ever have the passcode - but - he should have it - not that he would check it every day - but if he had just cause - he as the parent needs to be able to do so.


jessiesluv
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:01 AM

Yep

Mrs.Brugger
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:38 AM

Yes, but I wouldn't get my child a phone with a password anyway.

virgochild79
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:41 AM

If I'm paying the bill, hell yes I'm going to have the password and if they don't like it then guess what, use the land line! HA!

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:48 AM
OT:. Dh caught yss w so much drama he was texting to BM. It really was an ugly time when yss learned to text! Lol. So I do agree its good to check and teach these kids not to get sneakier but how to text and not hurt people's feelings. Dh had to talk to SS about how him texting BM "I'm bored" mom come get me early,don't tell dad,mom,dad is being mean to me,mom Sophia didn't make dinner,mom bubba being mean to me and dad doesn't do anything about it! I hate it here!" Is a bad thing.

I wish BM would have said I'm telling your dad. And SS would have stopped texting this stuff but instead BM fed into it. Blah! Dh on the other hand IMO handled it like a dude. He told BM don't think SS doesn't say things about your home. And BM was livid and finally told SS it's not nice to talk about your parents.

Now...yss13 still is drama. Lol.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:52 AM
This is exactly what I feel. My Dh ha been pretty easy on his sons lately and hasn't checked the laptop or their phones. The 17 yo,I probably wouldn't check bc there's no reason to. But the sneaky 13 yo(lol) I'd be checking mid text! Also in my town 2 suicides were committed by young teens. 8th grade! The parents were begging kids if they knew the FB ,twitter,email,and phone passwords. I just wish more parents would check their kids stuff. Also you never know how they talk to friends or for my Dh's son,his mom. Always telling her things. And some family members.

Quoting gibro19:

Should that even be in question.

We are dealing with a similar situation. Step daughter who is 12 just got a iphone. She has a passcode on it - I tell husband (her dad) he needs to have that passcode. he agrees but I don't think he has yet - but if it were my kid...

I think this is the kind of stuff that if we as parents or guardians taking care of children don't address or look at as important - is why there are so many sick and sad stories of our kids being involved in sexual relationships or other questionable and dangerous situations.

I cannot believe the number of stories I see on the news of the latest teacher or coach or what have you being arrested for having sex with a child. It is becoming an epidemic.

At this young of an age - our children are so vulnerable - uncomfortable in their own skin, still searching for their own voice and struggling to find out about everything the world is throwing at them - all the while their hormones are raging and their bodies are changing.

Even though we as parents will be met with hostility or anger at "invading their privacy", we are their parents, we are given the responsibility of protecting them and caring for them. So if a screaming 12 year old is pissed off at me for wanting the passcode to a phone or anyother thing (ipad, email, fb, etc) then so be it.

Just for the sake of saying - this is my husband's issue right now with his daughter - although she lives with us full time - I will not push this issue because I will not ever have the passcode - but - he should have it - not that he would check it every day - but if he had just cause - he as the parent needs to be able to do so.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LilliesValley
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:57 AM
Yes, I'd definately have the code to whatever. Their underage and in my house.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
vinalex0581
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:34 AM

yes

specialwingz
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:46 AM

Just finished raising 4 kids.  Not a single one with a cell phone.

Mommy4000
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:47 AM

There are no passwords enabled on my son's phone, and I end up using his phone more than he does because it's always just laying around within my reach when I need a phone so I'd know how to get into it anyway. My general rule is, if it's in my house I will have full access to it, and certainly if I'm paying the bill on whatever item it is.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN