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WWYD? SS's Wife "defriended" me on Facebook and emailed me this note....

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:47 PM
  • 16 Replies

DH and I have had an estranged relationship with SS and his wife (both age 24) for the past 2 1/2 years.   We saw SS and his wife at a funeral and Christmas Eve last year and that's it.   Facebook messages were part of the beginning of our problems 2 1/2 years ago and DH has wanted me to be really careful of what I put on FB that SS's wife might see since she and I are friends (he had not wanted me to defriend her because he said it would be rude to do so) so when I saw that SS's wife had defriended me a couple of weeks ago, I emailed her and asked if I had distressed her in any way on FB.  She replied by saying that she, "didn't think I would mind if she defriended me since we don't really speak to each other anyway when we see each other".  She went on to say that she "did not mean to start any new drama and was not saying this did not mean she would not want a relationship with me in the future should one develop, but Facebook makes it too eacy for me to find out things about her and SS and there were othere ways to find out about their life"  She ended her email with a ;(  .  So what do you ladies think of this.  I am clueless and what on earth does a semi-colon with a parenthesis mean?    To add to this, DH has not tried to contact SS since Christmas or since this email.   He told me he doesn't want me to reply back to SS's wife because he doesn't want me to get hurt or become upset.  SS has put me through quite a bit of his drama and verbal abuse.  Thanks ladies.


by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ejsmom4604
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:52 PM
1 mom liked this

This " :( " is a sad face. I am guessing that SS's wife would rather y'all called and inquired about their lives, be more active. I'm not sure how aware she is of the past with you and SS. Sounds like SS just couldn't get over BM and BD getting divorced/seperated etc and BD eventually remarrying. It also seems that for now, your DH is trying to protect you, and the he realizes that you are a part of his life, you two are married, and SS needs to get over that and be respectful to you as a human being at the very least. 

pepper504
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:05 PM

Facebook causes way too much drama.  Your DH knows your history with SS and I would take his advice.  What happened between DH and his son? Why has he not spoken to him since Christmas? 

Seychelles1409
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:07 PM


The symbol she put at the end of her sentence was a semi-colon ;) and the parenthesis was turned the other way.  DH was divorced from SS's BM when SS was 7 years old and DH and I have been married for 15 years.  Our problems with SS started abou the time SS got married 2 1/2 years ago.  All SS's bitterness at DH came out then and he said he couldn't take it out on him and he had to blame everything bad on someone so he chose me!  He got mad at me over something I said to his fiance on FB that was really no big deal and he has held a grudge ever since.  We have no relationship.  He's over the divorce.  He adores his SF!

Quoting ejsmom4604:
brought up everything he could to cause hard feelings.  At this point 

This " :( " is a sad face. I am guessing that SS's wife would rather y'all called and inquired about their lives, be more active. I'm not sure how aware she is of the past with you and SS. Sounds like SS just couldn't get over BM and BD getting divorced/seperated etc and BD eventually remarrying. It also seems that for now, your DH is trying to protect you, and the he realizes that you are a part of his life, you two are married, and SS needs to get over that and be respectful to you as a human being at the very least. 



Seychelles1409
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:11 PM


Actually, they only speak on birthdays, Father's Day, and when we see them on Christmas, or at a family event such as my Father-in-law's funeral.  FB started our problems, but I think much of the problems began when SS's then fiance started asking questions about our family history/relationships and bringing up old wounds.  SS decided he had to blame someone for everything bad that had happened to him in his life and he said he couldn't balme DH so he decided to blame me!   He really said that to DH!!!

Quoting pepper504:

Facebook causes way too much drama.  Your DH knows your history with SS and I would take his advice.  What happened between DH and his son? Why has he not spoken to him since Christmas? 



Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:16 PM

;(  could mean "cry"

Quoting Seychelles1409:


The symbol she put at the end of her sentence was a semi-colon ;) and the parenthesis was turned the other way.  DH was divorced from SS's BM when SS was 7 years old and DH and I have been married for 15 years.  Our problems with SS started abou the time SS got married 2 1/2 years ago.  All SS's bitterness at DH came out then and he said he couldn't take it out on him and he had to blame everything bad on someone so he chose me!  He got mad at me over something I said to his fiance on FB that was really no big deal and he has held a grudge ever since.  We have no relationship.  He's over the divorce.  He adores his SF!

Quoting ejsmom4604:
brought up everything he could to cause hard feelings.  At this point 

This " :( " is a sad face. I am guessing that SS's wife would rather y'all called and inquired about their lives, be more active. I'm not sure how aware she is of the past with you and SS. Sounds like SS just couldn't get over BM and BD getting divorced/seperated etc and BD eventually remarrying. It also seems that for now, your DH is trying to protect you, and the he realizes that you are a part of his life, you two are married, and SS needs to get over that and be respectful to you as a human being at the very least. 




faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 the symbol is a sad face. she is distressed over the drama probably. i think what she said was civil and mature. leave her alone. hopefully your DH and his son will eventually mend fences. be supportive of it if it happens.

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd respect her wishes and just leave her alone.
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knoxmomof2
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:15 AM

:( that's a frowny/ saf face... I *think* she's trying to imply that:

1) she doesn't want you to know her business and

2) if you want to know her business, you guys should reach out to them??

Its hard when you don't know all the story, or the person, but from the bit I see here, I would say leave things the way they are. Do not respond. IF you guys are interested in SS, contact him. If that's too toxic, don't. Ignore her, she sounds like a piece of work ( again, just speculating here).



WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:19 AM

She did the right thing. I'd leave her alone.

macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:30 AM

I would leave her alone.  It doesn't sound like you are ready to work on the relationship, so she did the right thing.

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