anyone else this happens with? im sure its common, right?
my SO and i dont argue much but it seems like 95% of the time its over MY ds14. my ds14 is adhd/odd and very clumsy. he is also big and doesnt know his strength. he has broken things in the past around the house and it pisses my SO off to no end. i dont really love it either but i think kids tend to mess things up sometimes and dont get as stressed about it.
this latest argument was this.. we all just had a very nice weekend w the skids. no one was fighting, picking on anyone, we took ds14 and teh skids to this park yesterday where SO scattered his mothers ashes yesterday and had a nice time. his mom died 4 years ago this month.
well sometime during the day yesterday, ss11 asked ds14 to take these stickers off his window. ds14 opened his blinds all the way to do so because he didnt want to mess them up. well the blinds are ALREADY messed up and stay stuck open. in fact, when we moved in ehre we told the landlord we would replace the blinds in the bedrooms to knockl some money off the deposit and just havent done so.
SO blew a fucking gasket last night about it and started yelling so ss11 told him MY son did it and then he starts yelling about that. so i went in the room and watch him rip the blinds off hte fucking window. wtf?????? now, i tend to lose my temper and break things too. i have gotten better but i do it. i went and started helping him pick them up and he says "dont touch it, its my fault" and stomps off outside. i decide i dont want to be around him at all and go in the room.
my son came in later and asked why SO was all mad at him because he didnt know the blinds were messed uyp and told me why he opened them. i told him it wasnt his fault and id handle it later. he went to bed.
about midnight i went to teh living room and asked SO if he was coming to bed and he ignored me. i said HELLO im talking to you and he says hes going to stay on the couch. now, thats a big fucking deal to him. so i said are you mad at ME and he says no so i said why are you staying on the couch then and he says "I JUST AM" so i said "FINE idk why the fuck you are mad at me cuz i didnt do SHIT" and went to teh room and slammed the door. then i came back out with his pillow and told him to give me my pillow and went back to my room and slammed the door again. (all kids were sleeping and no one woke up) i could hardly sleep all night and was upset and crying. im so sick of this fucking argument.
anyhow this morning he did come hug and kiss me when he left but after he left, he texted me saying why does my son take two showers a day and dont blame the leak when the water bill was high so i texted him back that i wasnt going to discuss my son w him and i wasnt going to talk to him via text cuz he always takes everyting the wrong way. he says he was mad cuz mny son messes things up around the house and he was sorry for losing his temper but he was going to go into "dont give a fuck mode" so i told him he was totally overreacting because of some OLD FUCKED UP BLINDS and was there something else bugging him because i could not believe he was making suck a big fucking deal over some OLD blinds that he slept on the fucking couch and he said no thats it and i said WHAT IS WRONG W YOU -___-
went back and forth over it and i stood my ground about it because those blinds were fucking old. he finally just apologized with no "buts" but this argument will happen again. it always eventually does.
reasons this bothers me is because i feel as if he is comparing me to BM (im NOT blaming her for this, im blaming HIM) because when tehy were together her rich gramma bought them a house and remodeled the whole thing. the inside was brand new. and BM is better at cleaning and not ahving any wear and tear in her life than i am. this house is a rental and older and the interior is dated. we aren not remodeling a house we dont own. things are going to break here and there.. i resent the comparison.
and second, the skids mess things up too, and SO does yell at them about it but he really goes overboard when it comes to MY son. i would never throw the skids messing things up in his face. i know they are kids. and i think im better than that. i dont even keep track but two things i DO remembered was ss9 ripped a small hole int he leather of my third row in my pilot and ss4 scratched the SHIT out of our dining room table. to be honest, i dont even care because they are kids and shit happens. i DO care about him doing shit like throwing a tantrum over MY son messing up some old ass, busted blinds when i dont trip over his kids messing up legit shit! im not going to start tripping over it either but it chaps my ass that he does this shit!!!
sorry so long but any input is appreciated.