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fighting w SO about your own kid......

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 anyone else this happens with? im sure its common, right?

my SO and i dont argue much but it seems like 95% of the time its over MY ds14. my ds14 is adhd/odd and very clumsy. he is also big and doesnt know his strength. he has broken things in the past around the house and it pisses my SO off to no end. i dont really love it either but i think kids tend to mess things up sometimes and dont get as stressed about it.

this latest argument was this.. we all just had a very nice weekend w the skids. no one was fighting, picking on anyone, we took ds14 and teh skids to this park yesterday where SO scattered his mothers ashes yesterday and had a nice time. his mom died 4 years ago this month.

well sometime during the day yesterday, ss11 asked ds14 to take these stickers off his window. ds14 opened his blinds all the way to do so because he didnt want to mess them up. well the blinds are ALREADY messed up and stay stuck open. in fact, when we moved in ehre we told the landlord we would replace the blinds in the bedrooms to knockl some money off the deposit and just havent done so.

SO blew a fucking gasket last night about it and started yelling so ss11 told him MY son did it and then he starts yelling about that. so i went in the room and watch him rip the blinds off hte fucking window. wtf?????? now, i tend to lose my temper and break things too. i have gotten better but i do it. i went and started helping him pick them up and he says "dont touch it, its my fault" and stomps off outside. i decide i dont want to be around him at all and go in the room.

my son came in later and asked why SO was all mad at him because he didnt know the blinds were messed uyp and told me why he opened them. i told him it wasnt his fault and id handle it later. he went to bed.

about midnight i went to teh living room and asked SO if he was coming to bed and he ignored me. i said HELLO im talking to you and he says hes going to stay on the couch. now, thats a big fucking deal to him. so i said are you mad at ME and he says no so i said why are you staying on the couch then and he says "I JUST AM" so i said "FINE idk why the fuck you are mad at me cuz i didnt do SHIT" and went to teh room and slammed the door. then i came back out with his pillow and told him to give me my pillow and went back to my room and slammed the door again. (all kids were sleeping and no one woke up) i could hardly sleep all night and was upset and crying. im so sick of this fucking argument.

anyhow this morning he did come hug and kiss me when he left but after he left, he texted me saying why does my son take two showers a day and dont blame the leak when the water bill was high so i texted him back that i wasnt going to discuss my son w him and i wasnt going to talk to him via text cuz he always takes everyting the wrong way. he says he was mad cuz mny son messes things up around the house and he was sorry for losing his temper but he was going to go into "dont give a fuck mode" so i told him he was totally overreacting because of some OLD FUCKED UP BLINDS and was there something else bugging him because i could not believe he was making suck a big fucking deal over some OLD blinds that he slept on the fucking couch and he said no thats it and i said WHAT IS WRONG W YOU -___-

went back and forth over it and i stood my ground about it because those blinds were fucking old. he finally just apologized with no "buts" but this argument will happen again. it always eventually does.

reasons this bothers me is because i feel as if he is comparing me to BM (im NOT blaming her for this, im blaming HIM) because when tehy were together her rich gramma bought them a house and remodeled the whole thing. the inside was brand new. and BM is better at cleaning and not ahving any wear and tear in her life than i am. this house is a rental and older and the interior is dated. we aren not remodeling a house we dont own. things are going to break here and there.. i resent the comparison.

and second, the skids mess things up too, and SO does yell at them about it but he really goes overboard when it comes to MY son. i would never throw the skids messing things up in his face. i know they are kids. and i think im better than that. i dont even keep track but two things i DO remembered was ss9 ripped a small hole int he leather of my third row in my pilot and ss4 scratched the SHIT out of our dining room table. to be honest, i dont even care because they are kids and shit happens. i DO care about him doing shit like throwing a tantrum over MY son messing up some old ass, busted blinds when i dont trip over his kids messing up legit shit! im not going to start tripping over it either but it chaps my ass that he does this shit!!!

sorry so long but any input is appreciated.

 
        
         

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:44 PM
Replies (11-19):
Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I would probably throw a lamp at him and hit him in head, then tell him I hope it knocks some damn sense in him.

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:39 PM
2 moms liked this

he's on his man period.

DD8 is a tad bit "destructive" and it pisses DH off-however my daughter's adhd/autistic. It takes 2-3 ppl to watch her at all times because she's a sneaky little girl kissing

fact is-SD11 and ss6 could (and they have) TRASH my house from top to bottom and dh wouldnt be fazed-but if my daughter were to spill juice or even fart the wrong way-he's spazzing over it.

toss your man some midol and tell him to man up!

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:22 AM

 LOL... I say this about my DH.  Seems at least once a month has a temper tantrum over petty stuff.  My DS gets the same treatment too.  DH seems to nag the little guy for stupid stuff.  Example:  DS (11) sitting at table eating dinner alone was playing on his phone.  DH starts crabbin at him telling him no phones at the table. (this is a rule when the whole family is eating together)  SD 17 does it all the time.  I had to come to DS's defense.. it didnt matter he was eating alone.      Another Example is I asked my DS to get my charger for me.  When DH seen him he started crabbing "you dont need your moms charger.. etc. before even asking a question.  Again I stepped in.    My DH wont discipline SD but sure feels the need to correct mine.  My son has chores and rules, SD has none prettty much...  I have gotten mad a few times and told him I will address my son you cant handle your own.   Of course that starts a battle but I stand my ground I dont want him parenting my kid when he is acting like a 11 year old also.


Quoting Tigress22304:

he's on his man period.


 

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:38 AM


Quoting tiredmama42:

 LOL... I say this about my DH.  Seems at least once a month has a temper tantrum over petty stuff.  My DS gets the same treatment too.  DH seems to nag the little guy for stupid stuff.  Example:  DS (11) sitting at table eating dinner alone was playing on his phone.  DH starts crabbin at him telling him no phones at the table. (this is a rule when the whole family is eating together)  SD 17 does it all the time.  I had to come to DS's defense.. it didnt matter he was eating alone.      Another Example is I asked my DS to get my charger for me.  When DH seen him he started crabbing "you dont need your moms charger.. etc. before even asking a question.  Again I stepped in.    My DH wont discipline SD but sure feels the need to correct mine.  My son has chores and rules, SD has none prettty much...  I have gotten mad a few times and told him I will address my son you cant handle your own.   Of course that starts a battle but I stand my ground I dont want him parenting my kid when he is acting like a 11 year old also.


Quoting Tigress22304:

he's on his man period.




holy helll....is your hubby related to mine?!

Dh has no problem snapping on my daughter or his stepdaughter (bm's daughter from a previous relationship) but when it comes to his son-lil man does NOTHING wrong-i just walk away

kellynh
by Kelly on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:05 AM

Honestly, since you say he goes off on his own kids as well. It sounds like he needs some help in anger management. 

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:34 AM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting tiredmama42:

 LOL... I say this about my DH.  Seems at least once a month has a temper tantrum over petty stuff.  My DS gets the same treatment too.  DH seems to nag the little guy for stupid stuff.  Example:  DS (11) sitting at table eating dinner alone was playing on his phone.  DH starts crabbin at him telling him no phones at the table. (this is a rule when the whole family is eating together)  SD 17 does it all the time.  I had to come to DS's defense.. it didnt matter he was eating alone.      Another Example is I asked my DS to get my charger for me.  When DH seen him he started crabbing "you dont need your moms charger.. etc. before even asking a question.  Again I stepped in.    My DH wont discipline SD but sure feels the need to correct mine.  My son has chores and rules, SD has none prettty much...  I have gotten mad a few times and told him I will address my son you cant handle your own.   Of course that starts a battle but I stand my ground I dont want him parenting my kid when he is acting like a 11 year old also.

 

Quoting Tigress22304:

he's on his man period.

 

 

 

holy helll....is your hubby related to mine?!

Dh has no problem snapping on my daughter or his stepdaughter (bm's daughter from a previous relationship) but when it comes to his son-lil man does NOTHING wrong-i just walk away

They are all a pain in the ass..lol   I think I am raising 3 kids in my house sometimes.  Sometimes I get tired of wearing the pants trying to set them all straight..lol

 

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:38 PM
1 mom liked this

 oh lord yes, he def gets his man rag.

mine yells at his own too though lol

Quoting tiredmama42:

 LOL... I say this about my DH.  Seems at least once a month has a temper tantrum over petty stuff.  My DS gets the same treatment too.  DH seems to nag the little guy for stupid stuff.  Example:  DS (11) sitting at table eating dinner alone was playing on his phone.  DH starts crabbin at him telling him no phones at the table. (this is a rule when the whole family is eating together)  SD 17 does it all the time.  I had to come to DS's defense.. it didnt matter he was eating alone.      Another Example is I asked my DS to get my charger for me.  When DH seen him he started crabbing "you dont need your moms charger.. etc. before even asking a question.  Again I stepped in.    My DH wont discipline SD but sure feels the need to correct mine.  My son has chores and rules, SD has none prettty much...  I have gotten mad a few times and told him I will address my son you cant handle your own.   Of course that starts a battle but I stand my ground I dont want him parenting my kid when he is acting like a 11 year old also.

 

Quoting Tigress22304:

he's on his man period.

 

 

 

 

 
        
         

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:39 PM

 for what? he isnt hitting them and cursing them out he just loses his temper from time to time.

ETA OH cuz he pulled the blinds off... yea he did lose it there. however im not one to judge much as i have thrown idk how many of my phones and broken them. expensive temper tantrums -____-

Quoting kellynh:

Honestly, since you say he goes off on his own kids as well. It sounds like he needs some help in anger management. 

 

 
        
         

ShannaBee
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:09 PM
I agree.


Quoting MommySabs:

I would have an issue with my dh treating my child that way, as in he wouldn't have become my dh. You need to address his treatment of your child with him and lay out your expectations.

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