Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Separate checking accounts?

Posted by   + Show Post

DH and I almost never have an argument about money - except when it comes to spending on the kids.  Check my previous post about the prom dress!  Anyway, last night he said, 'just a thought, what if we had separate checking accounts?', and I said, 'I had actually had that same thought too'.  So I wanted to hear some feedback from the group.

A little background, we both make about the same amount of money per year, we are financially stable, with little to no debt.  I have 2 kids, he has one, that all live with us.  He works overtime sometimes, and when he does he makes a big check, but I get a good size child support check every month, so it really averages out to be the same at the end of the year.

What do you think?  I'm hesistant because it's kind of breaking away from each other a bit and that scares me.  I'm also scared that somehow I'll end up on the short stick and broke all the time.  I guess I need some help making sure I think it the whole way through too!  Thanks!

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:32 PM
Replies (31-40):
by Ruby Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:34 PM

We are moving to a fully mine and ours financial situation, his accounts will soon all be our accounts (just completing some paperwork), it works since my children are his. DH is a traditonal male so what is his is ours and he is fine with that.

We never fight over money, I will let him know the amount I am taking out but neither of us ask permission to spend money.

Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:40 PM

 we have them sadly and mine knows what i have in there and where it goes . But yet i dont have a clue about his . But im glad because he will over darft

by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:56 PM
We have a we account (house bills) a he account his mess and a me account my mess :-) we do have a joint savings account also. Its not a trust issue by any means but, I'm not asking anybody if I can go buy something with my own money lol
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:23 PM

My husband and I have separate accounts.  We never fight over money and both of us spend whatever we want on the kids (both mine), so long as bills are paid.  If bills are not paid we would have problems.  

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:33 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, do it!

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:36 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry about the super huge font but I can't stress enough that you can have a perfectly healthy relationship with your SO without merging bank accounts. We split common household expenses evenly but are each financially responsible for our own and our own children's expenses. Your spending is at your discretion as is his. 

by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this

I think the his, mine and ours is fine, but not if one ends up bearing the brunt of "extras".   My ex and I did that and I ended up being the one providing all clothing and toys for DS, gifts and "luxury items" because he didn't deem them as essential.  He got to build his bank account while I provided us with a decent lifestyle.  I guess you could say that that was my choice, but he never refused to go to a ballgame that I had purchased tickets for nor did he offer to share half of those expenses.  He totally took advantage of me, made himself out to be the wonderful, generous provider and when we divorced he wanted half of my account because I had not closed it out as he had done his own and the "ours" checking and savings.  Maybe having accounts where two signatures are required for all transactions would offer both of you protection.

Just make sure that you know exactly what monies exist, what credit card debt exists, etc. because the law doesn't care what agreements you have made with each other.  All money  earned and debts incurred during the marriage are marital.  If both of you are equally open and honest you should have no problems, but if one suddenly decides to abuse the situation you can be royally screwed.

by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:37 PM

my hubby and I have NEVER shared accounts and we NEVER fight over money. It is easier. We have one joint account that we both contribute to in order to pay bills but otherwise I have no idea how he spends the rest of his money. I say try costs nothing to open a new account!!

by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:49 PM

As soon as we were married we starting putting all of our money into a joint account.  Having enough to pay the bills is not really an issue - we are both professionals and make plenty to cover our bills.  To me, it's more an issue of shared financial goals, being on the same page and trust.  I woudl be really bothered if my husband was reluctant to have our money in a joint account.  I have known others that did - just like I know couples that go on seperate vacations, but it's not for me.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:06 PM
We have 2, joint and mine. We normally transfer all the money in my acct. Dh isn't very good with money. I pay all the bills with mine. If he needs money I can transfer it to his.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)