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I told my daughter this

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:07 AM
  • 11 Replies
That even though her stepmom didn't give birth to her, she was born from her heart.

I really wish my ex didn't ran off his wife and other child. She was a good person, loved my kids. And even though we didn't get along (a very long story) she was good to my kids, and that's all that mattered. When she and my ex would take them, she washes their clothes , bought new sneakers (I do get child support) just because she thought my daughter would like them (and my dd loved them so much she wore a hole though them..lol..) and would pick up a outfit or two because she figured if she bought something for her dd, why not included my kids..

I was really hoping my ex would get his crap straighten out before he pushed her away but he didn't. I am sorry to see her go and my kids won't be able to see their sister cause she moved home to Cali..but I hope she can find a man who will love her and not try to control her, hit her (yes my ex can get physical when he looses his temper..one reason I left him..but he has NEVER laid a hand on our kids) and treat her like a peice of trash. If she dates or gets married again, (this is her first divorce and my ex''s second, I am number one) to a man with children..they will be some lucky kids.
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by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:12 AM
1 mom liked this

Did SM take on the Mom role and demand that random strangers online acknowledge that?  If so, see how things don't work out and now your child can't even see SM or her sibling anymore.

lizzyluvsmoe
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:14 AM

YOU are an amazing woman

baquick
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:16 AM
You both are amazing women. Good luck to her! I hope y'all can maintain some form of a relationship for the girls.
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Derdriu
by Gold Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:17 AM

Y'know, even though ya'll didn't get along, it may not be a bad idea to convey those thoughts to SM.  And without trying to become buddy-buddy, it is possible for BM and ex-SM to forge enough of a relationship to facilitate contact between half-siblings.  It would be a shame if they missed out on knowing their sister just because their dad stinks as a husband.

dallascowboys82
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:34 AM
Little harsh dont ya think?
One of the main reasons we didn't get along is because my ex (he does have a mental illness) would lie and twist things around to make him look better. Like when I had the flu and was really sick, and even though it was my weekend to have my kids, she picked them up for a bit so I can get some rest. I didn't even ask, she knew I was sick and asked if I mind her picking up the kids and they head to the movies. Even though we don't get along, we didn't let that interfere with the kids. The problem were between me and my ex (along with his Lying) is what caused problems.
All I ever ask for is someone who will love my kids and not look down their nose just because they "aren't hers or didn't pop out of her va jay jay". And we agreed our daughters can write letters back and forth.
It's all about the kids..not our problems with eachother. Why make the children suffer just because we didn't get along?


Quoting WifeyC:

Did SM take on the Mom role and demand that random strangers online acknowledge that?  If so, see how things don't work out and now your child can't even see SM or her sibling anymore.


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dallascowboys82
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this
We agreed on the girls writing letters back and forth. And my dd can call and talk to her sister when she wants to. I am a firm believer in keeping half sibs together. Just because us adults don't get along, doesn't mean we should make our children suffer..


Quoting Derdriu:

Y'know, even though ya'll didn't get along, it may not be a bad idea to convey those thoughts to SM.  And without trying to become buddy-buddy, it is possible for BM and ex-SM to forge enough of a relationship to facilitate contact between half-siblings.  It would be a shame if they missed out on knowing their sister just because their dad stinks as a husband.


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Pero1
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:45 AM

See, this is one of the issues I have with the second mom business ... that if - as is the case in more than 60% of the marriages - it doesn't work out, second mom is gone ... poof!

My ex once said in a conversation with DD and myself "stepparents come and go, parents are forever" ... that was right after we separated, he was already with SM. That comment really made me think twice.

They already were close to divorce once, and - knowing him - once they truly manage to f*ck it up it won't be pleasant and amicable. Then the "mom" will be gone, the "sisters" will be gone ... until he finds a replacement.

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:58 AM

No, I don't think.  Some SM's really want to be Mom and even say things like "you were born from my heart".  Then divorce hits and the kid doesn't even see SM anymore.  


Quoting dallascowboys82:

Little harsh dont ya think?
One of the main reasons we didn't get along is because my ex (he does have a mental illness) would lie and twist things around to make him look better. Like when I had the flu and was really sick, and even though it was my weekend to have my kids, she picked them up for a bit so I can get some rest. I didn't even ask, she knew I was sick and asked if I mind her picking up the kids and they head to the movies. Even though we don't get along, we didn't let that interfere with the kids. The problem were between me and my ex (along with his Lying) is what caused problems.
All I ever ask for is someone who will love my kids and not look down their nose just because they "aren't hers or didn't pop out of her va jay jay". And we agreed our daughters can write letters back and forth.
It's all about the kids..not our problems with eachother. Why make the children suffer just because we didn't get along?


Quoting WifeyC:

Did SM take on the Mom role and demand that random strangers online acknowledge that?  If so, see how things don't work out and now your child can't even see SM or her sibling anymore.




Gamer_Chick_19
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:00 PM

I wish more BMs had this kind of attitude with there kids SMs.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:00 PM

Yup, this is sad.


Quoting WifeyC:

No, I don't think.  Some SM's really want to be Mom and even say things like "you were born from my heart".  Then divorce hits and the kid doesn't even see SM anymore.  

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