Red Headed Step... Mother! I guess that's what I get!
"Sure" he says.
I'm exhausted and wet from rain and all I want to do is take a shower so I'm really excited to know this is taken care of. *Huge sigh* what a relief!
I get home and he announces to me "I didn't put the lasagna in because I've made dinner every other night this week and I didn't feel like it, sorry."
I'm one of those "pick your battles" types and I'm really tired and I know I'll be bitchy so I drop it.
But last night I made egg salad sandwiches, Monday I made chicken cacciatore, Sunday I bought his ass some Taco Bell, I honestly don't remember Saturday's dinner he might have made that one, and Friday I made BBQ spare ribs.
But who's keeping score.
So anyway, I put the damn thing in the oven.
Then I tell my stepdaughter to go take a shower. Then I start to get stuff ready so I can go up stairs and take one of my own whole the lasagna cooks! A blessing in disguise I guess, now maybe ill shower earlier than I thought.
My 5 year old stepson has been farting like crazy. Finally as I'm about to sneak off for a shower I see him head to the bathroom.
Well he's been going through a poop but not wipe phase. So I knock on the door and remind him, please wipe!
Then I make a selfish choice, I decide to shower now, and not wait for my stepson to finish in the bathroom so I can inspect.
I go to the livingroom where my husband, his father, is texting on his phone.
"Stepson is in the bathroom. He's popping. I want to take a shower. Can you make sure he wipes properly? Or do you need me I wait?"
"I can handle things you know. I am his father."
"I never said you couldn't. Will you do this for me please? Or, do you want me to wait?"
"I don't see what your problem is. He's my son, I can do it."
"Okay thanks, Ill be in the shower if you have problems."
I get out of the shower and the first thing I notice is that Stepson is wearing different pants. So I ask:
"Stepson why did you change your pants?"
"Because I wanted to."
"Why did you want to?"
"Because my other pants had water on them."
"How did they get water on them?"
"I was washing my hands."
"Okay. If you are lying to me you will be in big trouble. Do you want to tell me again?"
"They ha water AND poop on them."
"Did they get water on them because you tried to wash the poop off by yourself?"
"How did they get poop on them?"
"I didn't wipe my butt."
"Do the pants you have on now have poop on them?"
"I don't know."
"Did you wipe before you put them on?"
"Let's check then, I bet they do."
They did. Go figure.
So I get my stepson some clean clothes and a towel and tell him to go take a shower.
Then I ask my DH if he helped him wipe.
"Uh, I forgot."
I just sigh and go to the bathroom he used to grab a hair brush. Maybe now I can finish my shower routine.
There are are five year old sized poopy hand prints on the toilet seat, sink handles, counter, TP roll, mirror, flusher, an floor.
So I call DH in to show him what happens when he doesn't do what he says he will. DH gets all mad.
"You got me up for this?! *grooooannn* I'm going back to the living room."
Did he help clean up?
So I got to! Yay!
Again, pick my battles. I'm trying really hard to avoid a shouting match. My husband has never a day in his life cleaned poop, and would have took off for the rest of the night in a rage if I'd asked him to.
I guess that's what I get for asking him to chip in.