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psychological eval almost done for ss who tried to kill the cat a while back

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Some of u may remember that my ss tried to kill my cat. Tortured my kittens. Pushed my toddler off his bunk bed. He has cut up my furniture and beaten his little brother up several times at bm house.



He is ubber manipulative. His grandma and grandpa believe him to be confident fun and super caring.



His teacher believes him to be sad and lonely and that he has no self confidence.



He always feels like he is the victim of everyone else's circumstances.



He does weird things like being ubber conflicted if another kid tells him yes and a parent or teacher tells him no or vice versa. Its like he doesnt see a difference in the amount of authority that they have.....tons of examples of that.



He stabbed a little girl in the neck with a pencil at school about 2 months ago.



The interesting thing is that each and every person in his life sees a completely different child. If everyone made a list of 10 characteristics about him they would all be contradictory.



He had real problems with peer level relationships. As in he doesbt seem to have any. He knows all the kids in his class but no invites for playdates or partys etc.





Meeting is on friday to see if they see anything that can point us to answers


Update


Well the meeting was to discuss the results of several tests evaling his intelligence, personality, social skills etc....

The said he was on the lower end of normal for intelligence. Certainly smart enough to figure things out. He lies frequently, and is very manipulative. He is using phrases like " nobody loves me" as a social lubricant with adults...."i havent eaten today" is another favorite..... he still has no peer level relationships or any real apparent desire for them.

They r going to have him work with the ld teacher to learn about emotions and appropriate responses to situations so he can at least ACT normal. That is only 30 minutes a week.

His teacher felt that we just needed to love him more.....more or less...... the psychologist thinks he is just manipulating us. He scored high with anxiety... depression.... manipulation.

He currently is scoring breakfast at home. At school and then directly from his teacher. He tells his teacher he is soooo hungary he cant stand it.


Ugh. Basically he is able to see right from wrong but doesnt care.
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by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:10 PM
Replies (21-29):
kmur
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:15 AM

SO HES A LIL NARCISSISTIC?....I DONT GET THE OUTCOME...THEY SAY HES JUST MANIPULATING U GUYS, OK, SO WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSE TO DO ABOUT IT?

shanlee42
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:54 PM
I'm a bit confused with the teachers reaction. He isn't loved enough? That seems like a strange thing to say.

Did his therapist offer any suggestions on how to deal with him being manipulative.
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heathercm26
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 5:58 PM
Yes it is strange but ss will tell her often that nobody loves him. Nobody takes him anywhere. She says we need to do activities with him. Hug him more. Etc etc etc. He feels unloved is how sge put it. Well we do stuff all tge time. We love being parents. We go to the childrens museum. Play board games. Go swimming. To the park. Watch movies. We eat supper around the table as a family every single night. We read bedtime stories. Hug him everyday at least a dozen times. Play games. Tickle him. He helps with supper and setting the table. Have special treats just for him, like strawberries and blueberries and really are good to our kids. He goes to school and tells them that he hasnt eaten today. Didnt do anything over the weekend. Did nothing but play by himself on weeknights. Etc.

The psychologist said that he seems to only come up with this stuff when he is bored or doesnt wanna do a task. So instead of giving him a hug and special attention we/ and his teacher should acknowledge it then ignore it and make him do the task..... Like, i heard you the first time you said you were hungry, now you need to do your math worksheet.

They established his manipulation is sport for him and try to ignore it so he doesn't get a satisfying reaction


Quoting shanlee42:

I'm a bit confused with the teachers reaction. He isn't loved enough? That seems like a strange thing to say.



Did his therapist offer any suggestions on how to deal with him being manipulative.

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heathercm26
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 6:12 PM
With his manipulation being "sport" for him, honestly people are getting sick of him being included. I know i am. One thing he does is allow snot to run down his face. It irritates us at this point and he knows it. He will blow buggers out just so they can be seen on his face and parade around in frobt of us to get a reaction. He begs for food because he knows it works and it gets tiring stopping it. Its is ubber disappointing to take him on a family camping trip where he crys most of the time because we r so mean.
We brought him to the circus and he spent the whole time in tears because we only let him ride the elephant 2 times. We r soooooo mean. Nobody loves him.. bla bla bla.
His dad takes him hunting and nore of the same. Grandpa and his uncle take him and his cousin ice fishing and he picks at them the whole time. Dissatisfied woth everything.... seating arrangements in the truck and on the ice. And which pole was his and someone else caught a fish first and he was hungary and doesnt want snacks tgat were brought. Needs to go potty but then doesnt really have to go. Wants to wear someone elses gloves.

My brother finally said quit it but tge joy haf been sucked out of it. My brother said he wasnt happy with any of it. It goes on and on. He isnt invited to go places much and honestly i would rather wait until he is at his moms to do things. Its exhausting
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purplmama
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 2:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Holy Crap, Batman!!!

This boy has some very serious mental and emotional issues. If he doesn't get some intensive therapy now, he'll only grow worse. He's definitely narcissistic, that's for sure. His teacher sounds very inexperienced, too. Any teacher who's had experience will know that some kids will lie and manipulate whomever they can (I'm a middle school teacher). She sounds like a push-over. I'd ask the psychologist for more coping techniques. Ask him how to deal with the teacher. We've had some issues with my 7 yr old son, and the teacher and I have come to a collaboration. Now my son knows that whatever happens at school, Miss M. and I will be talking about it, comparing notes! Can you develop a working relationship like that with his teacher? Seriously, create a behavior plan that leaves him NO ROOM for bullsh** and lies! Let him know that everyone will be on the same page, so the jig is up! If he doesn't get help now, he'll grow up to be a very, very disturbed man and likely a threat to society. Sorry to be so blunt. : /  *hugs*

oliver92
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:17 PM

I would say your child suffers from RAD, you need to see a RAD psychologist immediately and get counseling. exactly like my ss who is 11, you dont need to love him more, he just is unable to make healthy attachments, our ss was placed in spec ed for psychological issues because of his RAD and severe problems. It just gets worse and worse, there are some other posts here about moms going through the same thing

oliver92
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:18 PM

a rad therapist can give you great stuff to give to the school and teachers, we had to more than once, because our ss can manipulate them all and believe all his crap.

heathercm26
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:46 PM
Will u marry me? I take the same stanse on this as you do. Dh is not far behind in a way but ss can seem so pathetic. He slumps hos shoulders squeezes out a tear and says i wish i had someone to love me. He will keep it up for hours and really convince everyone that he is just sooooo sad and lonely and hurt.

Its so hard to do all the above mentioned activities because ss really sucks the joy out of it. Dh gets excited to show ss something new and fun. Do something father son or as a family. Ss acts sliggted by it all. For example ss had been asking and asking to go on a horse ride with grandpa. So for his b day grandpa saddles two horses and goes with him. Grandpa later confided he would not do it again. He was expecting him to be excited or happy or something. He said he never smiled. Was never scared or nervous.....just flat. He asked for food and water a dozen times even though he just had a big lunch. He also said he had to pee but didnt go when they stopped ( which is classic for ss). They saw birds and ss asked what they were....he pointed to trees and asked what they were..... he also asked what time it was a dozen times..... just made it all very difficult to enjoy.

His teacher has been a teacher for 20 some years. I just dont know about her.


Quoting purplmama:

Holy Crap, Batman!!!

This boy has some very serious mental and emotional issues. If he doesn't get some intensive therapy now, he'll only grow worse. He's definitely narcissistic, that's for sure. His teacher sounds very inexperienced, too. Any teacher who's had experience will know that some kids will lie and manipulate whomever they can (I'm a middle school teacher). She sounds like a push-over. I'd ask the psychologist for more coping techniques. Ask him how to deal with the teacher. We've had some issues with my 7 yr old son, and the teacher and I have come to a collaboration. Now my son knows that whatever happens at school, Miss M. and I will be talking about it, comparing notes! Can you develop a working relationship like that with his teacher? Seriously, create a behavior plan that leaves him NO ROOM for bullsh** and lies! Let him know that everyone will be on the same page, so the jig is up! If he doesn't get help now, he'll grow up to be a very, very disturbed man and likely a threat to society. Sorry to be so blunt. : /  *hugs*


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shekyram
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 1:54 AM
Thanks for sharing your story. My heart hurts for you and your family. I need similar testing for my to SS's, although they have never lived with their mom she has total control over their minds. She taught the 10 year old how to use a debit card and told him to steal ours in which he did and bought games off the Internet. I'm terrified at what she could do next.
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