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wow another jaw dropping moment with bm

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:21 AM
  • 9 Replies
Sometimes bm comes over and helps me get the kids in the bus in the mornings if she gets off work on time. Today was one of those days and she knew I had my hands full with a sick whiny 4 yr old. I left her a text just to let her know that her Dd was sick.
So she was talking to me after the kids left and the subject of step parenting came up. I was like you know the library here doesn't have any books on it. It is harder then just parenting my kids because I don't have anyone judge what I do with my own. She then said you can treat mine as you would yours. If Bert trust you enough to have married you then I trust you too. If you feel they are out of line do something about it, if you feel they need medical testing then take them (I think her oldest has add). She went on to say if you have Berts permission then you have mine. You don't have to worry about over stepping, I truat your judgement because you have done a great jov with your own.
I just stood there stund. Then I was think would you mind repeating that I want this recorded or written down. Lol
She has been saying stuff like this. Dh and I have Been talking and it feels like she is disengaging. She has been having a hard time controlling the kids and hasn't been yelling at them when they call me mom.
I wil still be careful though. Just because she says something doesn't mean she wont use it against us. It was just one of those moments that you are left standing there going " what just happened?".
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:21 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Tigress22304
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Princess with Ms Kara
Yesterday at 6:36 PM
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:58 AM

Wow.....I remember that moment with my skids' BM. It was when SD11 was going thru a UTI. And she's trying to figure out how it happened (SD has a history of UTIs-she's had several surgeries to correct her bladder/kindey issues) DH had no clue-so because I have only 1 kidney-I explained to her some options. And she agreed with me-said she was going to try my ideas and thanked me for the help.

So, now Bm comes to me everytime SD goes to the doctor and we discuss everything and it's been great so far.

But I can also understand being careful just in  case. You never know with some ppl you're trying to help.

Lorena
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:04 AM
We know that she is planning to tak dh back to court when she gets her own place to try to get custody back. So I want to be careful so that there is nothing that she can use against us. My skids are not old enough for the judge to take what they wont in consideration so we have to do that for them.

Quoting Tigress22304:

Wow.....I remember that moment with my skids' BM. It was when SD11 was going thru a UTI. And she's trying to figure out how it happened (SD has a history of UTIs-she's had several surgeries to correct her bladder/kindey issues) DH had no clue-so because I have only 1 kidney-I explained to her some options. And she agreed with me-said she was going to try my ideas and thanked me for the help.

So, now Bm comes to me everytime SD goes to the doctor and we discuss everything and it's been great so far.

But I can also understand being careful just in  case. You never know with some ppl you're trying to help.

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SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:18 AM

Well, lets hope that she is honest in what she is saying. BM has said stuff to me before, about how thankful she is that I'm around and stuff, then she will turn around and talk about how I make SS do all the housework and I sit on my fat ass all day long. She has also talked about what good parents DH and I are and then turn around and try to talk SS into living with her or telling him she is taking DH to court for custody.

Lorena
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:25 AM
See that is why I am still going to be careful. But at the sametime being a sm has also helped me in changing how I deal with my own kids. I also think when dealing with them if someone was looking at my every move would they use this against me? I do this so that things are more Universal and my kids don't get harsher punishments when SKs wouldn't. I don't want her to be able to use how we raise any of the kids against us.

Quoting SassyMom25:

Well, lets hope that she is honest in what she is saying. BM has said stuff to me before, about how thankful she is that I'm around and stuff, then she will turn around and talk about how I make SS do all the housework and I sit on my fat ass all day long. She has also talked about what good parents DH and I are and then turn around and try to talk SS into living with her or telling him she is taking DH to court for custody.

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MamaMoopsie
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:27 AM

It's wise to remain wary and careful. If my SD's BM ever said anything like this to me I might just faint with the shock of it!

Lorena
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:30 AM
I thought I was going to. She hates my very being and has ever since she met bd my now dh!

Quoting MamaMoopsie:

It's wise to remain wary and careful. If my SD's BM ever said anything like this to me I might just faint with the shock of it!

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shanlee42
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:45 PM
Just curious. Do you allow your skids to call you mom eventhough BM clearly doesn't want them to?
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Lorena
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:43 PM
Yes, because it is their choice. We have modified it to mama Lorena. BMs recomondation. However the 4 yr old just calls me mama and we have goten her to call her mom. When she came to us she called her the lady.that sometimes comes to play games with me. She called her Aunt mom.

Quoting shanlee42:

Just curious. Do you allow your skids to call you mom eventhough BM clearly doesn't want them to?
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lnr187
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:06 PM

 that's great that she trusts you so much, but i'd be careful how far you take that. as you said yoruself, she could say it and then use it against you. just be sure to inform her of anything you plan on doing and keep her updated on the results (ie dr appt)
maybe she sees how you are with all of the kids in the mornings when she comes to help and realizes you're doing a great job.

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