Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

BM just needs to grow up and act like an adult.

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:05 PM
  • 29 Replies
1 mom liked this

SD birthday is coming up and SD will be 7.  SD told us that BM was going to have a skating party for her.  SO and I decided that we would have a party for her at our house and she could invite all her friends from school.  Well SD wants SO to go to her skating party and wants BM to come to our party.  SO has no problem with this since it is his daughter's birthday he will suck up being around his ex for his daughter.  Well SO talked to BM about this a few days ago and asked when the skating party is and she acted like she had no idea of what he was talking about.  SO explained that SD wants him at her party and BM at his party and BM was like I don't know we haven't talked about SD party and we don't know what we are doing.  So basically she just doesn't want SO to come and is not going to tell him any info.  SO talked to SD last night and asked

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
packermomof2
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:12 PM
1 mom liked this

No kid needs two parties.  Maybe both could grow up and just have one, work together, and not act like the child needs two because her parents didn't work out.

With that said - mom doesn't have to "let" dad come and maybe, just maybe, the kid heard mom say there would be one when mom said maybe.

AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:17 PM

I think it would be great for your SD to have two parties. It is not fair to her not being able to invite her friends from school, whom she spends a lot of time with. 

Are you sure BM actually DID know that your SD told you guys she is having a skating party? sometimes kids will say things like that because that is what they want. If BM does in fact not want your SO to be there, I would just leave it be and have two parties for SD. I don´t know if I would invite BM to the party at my house simply because I would not want to risk drama on the child´s birthday. 

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:25 PM
Twin skids have just one party and BM is in charge of that. DH and I don't attend. We take the girls out to dinner (their choice) and get them a gift on or near their birthday (depending in whether or not it falls on our day with them).

It's really BMs business whether she invites her ex or not...maybe she's just not comfortable with him being around.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
LovingMy2x4
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:31 PM

Do you know if BM is really having a party? SD8 told us for weeks about the party BM was planning. Her bday was almost 2 months ago and she never had a party...

shanlee42
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:39 PM
There may not be a party. He should check with BM again. If there is a party planned and BD isn't invited that's no cool but something tells me that there isn't a party.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
chanizen
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:44 PM
So, let me get this straight. Sd tells you bm is having a party. You (on your own) decide to have a party. Sd (who is too young to decide if it is appropriate ) expresses what she wants. You decide that is fine (without talking to bm). Then you decide to spring it on bm and she doesn't get all gushy. And bm is the bad guy? No.

As a bm, I get along AWESOME with my ex and I would never make that set of assumptions or promise anything to dd without talking to him. Bf needs to grow up and start communicating.

As an sm, I cannot imagine my husband doing that and getting upset.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:41 PM

It doesn't sound like you all get along so I wouldn't push the joint party. Plan your party on your time and let SD know that both parents will plan a separate celebration for her birthday.

soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:44 PM


This.

Quoting chanizen:

So, let me get this straight. Sd tells you bm is having a party. You (on your own) decide to have a party. Sd (who is too young to decide if it is appropriate ) expresses what she wants. You decide that is fine (without talking to bm). Then you decide to spring it on bm and she doesn't get all gushy. And bm is the bad guy? No.

As a bm, I get along AWESOME with my ex and I would never make that set of assumptions or promise anything to dd without talking to him. Bf needs to grow up and start communicating.

As an sm, I cannot imagine my husband doing that and getting upset.



PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:50 PM
I agree, too.


Quoting soonergirl980:


This.


Quoting chanizen:

So, let me get this straight. Sd tells you bm is having a party. You (on your own) decide to have a party. Sd (who is too young to decide if it is appropriate ) expresses what she wants. You decide that is fine (without talking to bm). Then you decide to spring it on bm and she doesn't get all gushy. And bm is the bad guy? No.



As a bm, I get along AWESOME with my ex and I would never make that set of assumptions or promise anything to dd without talking to him. Bf needs to grow up and start communicating.



As an sm, I cannot imagine my husband doing that and getting upset.





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
orcawhales98
by Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:05 PM

BM and SO don't get along the best so that is why we are doing 2 parties.  We were planning our party for SD on our weekend and thought that BM was planning the skating party on her weekend.  SD wanted both parents at both parties.  But then SO talked to SD last night and it seems like BM is not doing a skating party she is going to just have SD have a sleepover.  Which is fine if that is what SD wants but SO and I think she changed the party plans because she doesn't want SO at her party.  And SO asked SD if she still wanted him to come and SD said yes and she asked BM can Dad come and BM said no Dad can't come to the party.  Which I am glad that if she doesn't want SO there that BM is telling SD and not SO but still why can't she stop all this pettiness.  It just gets old. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)