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If you recieve child support how do u spend it?

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I have 3 kids that are not my husbands and i get child support for them and he also has 2 other children that are not mine and then we have one together. he feels like i should use my child support for everyone, including buying him stuff and paying the bills. we always fight about it cause i feel like i should just be spending it onthe 3 kids that its for and he just sees it completly differently from me. i feel like its for my kids, its not new husband and stepkid support its child support for my 3 children. do u spend your child support on your stepkids and husband?

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Replies (21-30):
lnr187
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:52 PM

if i were in your shoes, i would probably just add it to my monthly budget. it helps pay for the kids food, clothing, mortgage/rent, etc. as long as the children have everything they need. there's no reason to say "i have to spend $xxx because that's how much ex gives. that being said, dh shouldn't expect your ex to provide for him or his kid. he can't take your child support and go buy himself a new toy. also, you don't want to depend on that money, just incase ex ever doesn't pay. if your children have ec or any needs, i'd pay for that first before i add anything into the budget.

lnr187
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:54 PM

 LOL that's ridiculous, lousy 7 bucks!

Quoting Polkadotted:

DH gets $6.93 per week for his 3 kids. It just goes in the bank.

 

nyomilooney
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:54 PM

 my dh is demanding that i treat my child support as income for the hole family, i just think its a little ridiculous.i do occasionaly spend it on my stepkids but i shouldnt have to feel like i HAVE to

Quoting faerie75:

 i spend it on what i choose HOWEVER i keep a separate account and my SO does not tell me how to spend my money. i dont account for every dollar i spend it on.. a few here and there might get spent on a skid.. but my SO knows better than to expect or demand me to.

 

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:56 PM
2 moms liked this

 you dont need his permission to spend YOUR money. id have told him to fuck off with that the first time he tried. he wont igve you a penny but wants YOu to give HIM money? um, hell no.

Quoting nyomilooney:

 i do help my dh pay bills with it and food, i was just meaning as he expects me to every time i buy clothes or school function for my kids he expects me to buy his kids stuff with it to and buy him stuff if hes wanting something. he cashes his check and his money stays in his pocket, he doesnt give me a dime of it.hes suppose to get child support from his ex but she wont keep a job so he doesnt get anything. he will get upset with me if i buy my kids clothes or something they need with my child support without asking him first. i dont see why i need to ask him when the money is coming from there dad, not him.

 

 
        
         

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:56 PM

When i was getting CS-it was spent on my daughter. If she needed toiletries/clothes/food-we bought it for her.

If she didn't need any of that-it went towards bills.

But then again-this is something DH and I discussed BEFORE moving in together.

nyomilooney
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:00 PM

 exactly

Quoting faerie75:

 you dont need his permission to spend YOUR money. id have told him to fuck off with that the first time he tried. he wont igve you a penny but wants YOu to give HIM money? um, hell no.

Quoting nyomilooney:

 i do help my dh pay bills with it and food, i was just meaning as he expects me to every time i buy clothes or school function for my kids he expects me to buy his kids stuff with it to and buy him stuff if hes wanting something. he cashes his check and his money stays in his pocket, he doesnt give me a dime of it.hes suppose to get child support from his ex but she wont keep a job so he doesnt get anything. he will get upset with me if i buy my kids clothes or something they need with my child support without asking him first. i dont see why i need to ask him when the money is coming from there dad, not him.

 

 

DDDaysh
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:01 PM
When the ex pays it, I treat it just like any other money, it just means there's more room in the budget.
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MrsShipley21
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:02 PM

Nope! You go with your instinct and spend it on what your babies need.

MrsRexy
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:08 PM


It sounds like perhaps separate finances would solve this for both of you.  His money, your money in separate accounts, and perhaps one joint account for household expenses.  The percentage of which are paid by each of you according to your income (not necessarily 50/50).  That way, neither one of you can complain about the extras spent on either yourselves or your kids, and there will be no expectation that you should give to the other (or the other's kids).  It would even allow you to save the extra $ if you chose to.

Just a thought!  Sometimes traditional solutions (financial and otherwise!) don't work in a second family situation.

Hugs to you. 

Quoting nyomilooney:

 my dh is demanding that i treat my child support as income for the hole family, i just think its a little ridiculous.i do occasionaly spend it on my stepkids but i shouldnt have to feel like i HAVE to

Quoting faerie75:

 i spend it on what i choose HOWEVER i keep a separate account and my SO does not tell me how to spend my money. i dont account for every dollar i spend it on.. a few here and there might get spent on a skid.. but my SO knows better than to expect or demand me to.

 



DDDaysh
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:13 PM
That is such a ridiculously pathetic order. The order I have right now is for 25 times that amount for only one kid!

Of course, that is basically monopoly none ATM, as one can neither spend not invest a court order.


Quoting Polkadotted:

DH gets $6.93 per week for his 3 kids. It just goes in the bank.

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