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getting close to the end *edit*

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:36 PM
  • 44 Replies
Custody court is coming up very soon. I won't say when because IDK if anyone that could know bm is on here. That is part of my question. OK first....I'm REALLY excited that it's about to be over. The problem is....BMs attorney dropped her for non payment so I don't think BM knows about the court date. Should I tell her? We don't want to win by default. We want to win because we're the better environment for SD. Then again....if she can't make sure she's prepared for court...as in knowing what the date is...how is it our responsibility to tell her. I would want someone to tell me. IDK what to do. I'm torn. Any advise?

*edit*
I forgot to add that her house burnt down and IDK if she checks the mail there anymore. She may but I'm not sure.
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
FIREFOX1336
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:40 PM
1 mom liked this
If the lawyer dropped her they should notify the courts and the courts should figure out how to let her know when the date is
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PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:40 PM

If her lawyer dropped her, the court will send the paperwork with court dates to her home instead of to her lawyer. I would tell her just in case. Always be the bigger person.

dbush0584
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:44 PM
I want to but then I think about all the terrible shit she's done to us and SD and would just rather not have to deal with her. But that's wrong so then I feel guilty for feeling like that. Lol

Quoting PumpkinSpice8:

If her lawyer dropped her, the court will send the paperwork with court dates to her home instead of to her lawyer. I would tell her just in case. Always be the bigger person.

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KellyReedy
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:53 PM

IF SHE IS A CONCERNED MOM AND THERE ARE COURT DATES....SHE SHOULD KNOW!  It's not your job.  SHE should have it together!

PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 I can definitely sympathize with that. I feel the same way about DD's BD a lot of the time and just want to have a "why do I bother" attitude after everything he's put DD, DH, and I through. BUT I know thats not helping anyone and in the end it makes me a worse person. So, I do everything according to the CO and then some and even do nice things for him. If a BM/BD is as bad as the other parent thinks, then you should be able to give them all the rope in the world and they will eventually hang themselves. Kill them with kindness so-to-speak.

I wish you and DH the best of luck at court!

Quoting dbush0584:

I want to but then I think about all the terrible shit she's done to us and SD and would just rather not have to deal with her. But that's wrong so then I feel guilty for feeling like that. Lol

Quoting PumpkinSpice8:

If her lawyer dropped her, the court will send the paperwork with court dates to her home instead of to her lawyer. I would tell her just in case. Always be the bigger person.


 

saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Have your husband make sure she knows. It is what it is, the court will make a judgement on what's best for your stepdaughter. If I were you I would want to make sure her mom was there and heard. I could then lay my head down at night, knowing all parties were seen, heard and judged.

Do you "owe" it no. Should you and your husband make sure she knows esp cause of the fire? Yes, in my view. One day your stepdaughter may ask questions and if I were you I would want to give answers that leave no room for "wiggle room" know what I mean?
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dbush0584
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:35 PM
I know. That's what I try to do. And she always hangs herself. I'm sure she won't show even if we tell her. Thank you for the advise.

Quoting PumpkinSpice8:

 I can definitely sympathize with that. I feel the same way about DD's BD a lot of the time and just want to have a "why do I bother" attitude after everything he's put DD, DH, and I through. BUT I know thats not helping anyone and in the end it makes me a worse person. So, I do everything according to the CO and then some and even do nice things for him. If a BM/BD is as bad as the other parent thinks, then you should be able to give them all the rope in the world and they will eventually hang themselves. Kill them with kindness so-to-speak.



I wish you and DH the best of luck at court!



Quoting dbush0584:

I want to but then I think about all the terrible shit she's done to us and SD and would just rather not have to deal with her. But that's wrong so then I feel guilty for feeling like that. Lol



Quoting PumpkinSpice8:



If her lawyer dropped her, the court will send the paperwork with court dates to her home instead of to her lawyer. I would tell her just in case. Always be the bigger person.






 

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dbush0584
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:36 PM
Unfortunately she is not concerned. She had not even contacted sd since September. WE contacted her family so sd could see her mom on Christmas.

Quoting KellyReedy:

IF SHE IS A CONCERNED MOM AND THERE ARE COURT DATES....SHE SHOULD KNOW!  It's not your job.  SHE should have it together!

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dbush0584
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:38 PM
Yes I do. After court we are going to sit sd down and explain what we can anyways. She deserves to know.

Quoting saywhat2102:

Have your husband make sure she knows. It is what it is, the court will make a judgement on what's best for your stepdaughter. If I were you I would want to make sure her mom was there and heard. I could then lay my head down at night, knowing all parties were seen, heard and judged.



Do you "owe" it no. Should you and your husband make sure she knows esp cause of the fire? Yes, in my view. One day your stepdaughter may ask questions and if I were you I would want to give answers that leave no room for "wiggle room" know what I mean?
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saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:41 PM
There ya go:-) good luck!


Quoting dbush0584:

Yes I do. After court we are going to sit sd down and explain what we can anyways. She deserves to know.



Quoting saywhat2102:

Have your husband make sure she knows. It is what it is, the court will make a judgement on what's best for your stepdaughter. If I were you I would want to make sure her mom was there and heard. I could then lay my head down at night, knowing all parties were seen, heard and judged.





Do you "owe" it no. Should you and your husband make sure she knows esp cause of the fire? Yes, in my view. One day your stepdaughter may ask questions and if I were you I would want to give answers that leave no room for "wiggle room" know what I mean?

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